on edge Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I had a terrible relationship that spanned three years. I eventually ended it, and was fine for a month or two. Then, I started a downward spiral of depression, thinking that I just missed my ex and that I wanted her back. After torturing myself for months over her and after spats of contact here and there, I started going to therapy. I also started taking medication to help with the depression. I have felt so much better. Moreover, I have realized that my depression and pain had much deeper causes than my ex. My ex is my ex for a reason, we just don't work. I just remember how I spend all day, every day, thinking about my ex. It made me feel utterly hopeless because I just couldn't see the feeling going away. I tried dating, I tried sleeping with new people, I tried drinking. None of that stuff worked for me, and thankfully I found therapy, and a safe place to share my feelings. Since starting therapy and dealing with my depression, I have lost over 40 pounds by eating healthy and working out. I am in even better shape than when I started college. I have started dating and met someone new that is amazing (I think that you know that its not just a rebound when you stop comparing them to your ex) I also started a new job and just purchased my first new car. Sure, I think about my ex every now and then. But it's completely different, and with the realization that "yeah, we had some good times, but it didn't work." Sorry for the rant.
quarterlifecrisis Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Congrats, how long did it take you to progress to this stage? 6 months? 12 months?
jlr Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 just because he's still posting doesn't mean he's not over it. maybe he's just happy to vent it. when you spend alot of time venting the bad, it's nice to vent the good. good for you on edge, i'm proud of you.
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 I think he is for the most part over her. Posting here may just be a victory vent, or a search for validation in some way, which is OK. I don't think talking about her means he's not over her. I can relate.
Ilovecake Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Congratulations On Edge. Don't stop therapy just because you feel like you've conquered this one issue. Obviously it sounds like you’re getting a lot out of it, there is probably so much more you can learn about yourself that might help you in future relationships. Oh and congratulations on the new slimed down bod.
Author on edge Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 I still go to therapy every week. It has been almost a year we broke up. I think that I am over her. Of course things are not black and white. It's someone that I cared a lot about for a long time. But I have realized that we are not right for each other (I probably realized it when I broke up with her). Plus, I am dating someone completely new. I don't ever look at my phone, hoping that my ex called. I look at my phone and home that this new girl has called. In other words, the new girl is not a distraction and very far from a rebound. I've had a few rebounds, I think its time that I give another relationship a shot. (that was one bad pun!) My post was to share my success, seek validation, and offer a little hope. I spent several months thinking about my ex constantly. At the time, I saw no end in sight, which made my depression worse. For a while, I stopped caring about everything. I know that people on here are in the same situation that I was, and I really enjoyed reading stories of people that had moved on while I was depressed.
Phedre Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I still go to therapy every week. It has been almost a year we broke up. I think that I am over her. Of course things are not black and white. It's someone that I cared a lot about for a long time. But I have realized that we are not right for each other (I probably realized it when I broke up with her). Plus, I am dating someone completely new. I don't ever look at my phone, hoping that my ex called. I look at my phone and home that this new girl has called. In other words, the new girl is not a distraction and very far from a rebound. I've had a few rebounds, I think its time that I give another relationship a shot. (that was one bad pun!) My post was to share my success, seek validation, and offer a little hope. I spent several months thinking about my ex constantly. At the time, I saw no end in sight, which made my depression worse. For a while, I stopped caring about everything. I know that people on here are in the same situation that I was, and I really enjoyed reading stories of people that had moved on while I was depressed. Thanks for the happy post. I appreciate it very much! Nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel, gives me hope
dazedandconfused2008 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Its so nice to hear that there is a light at the end of this tunnel...and with the right supports....can get through these hard times....thanks for this much needed post
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