JaggedRoad Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Probably the emotional connection that he shared with her for the past few years. It's hard to let go of something like that at a young age. Link to post Share on other sites
on edge Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Sorry OP. There is no way to get over this. Cheating is a deal breaker. You said that she has cheated before too. She is a cheater, and she will always cheat. Do you want to be with someone that cheats? Also, this whole, "waiting to have sex thing," may have been what put her off. Girls want to be desired, and I don't know any guy (religious or not) that could date someone for three years and not have sex. Why are you torturing yourself? Cut this girl, find a new one, and **** her brains out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pullmeout Posted October 6, 2009 Author Share Posted October 6, 2009 Thank you all for the advice. I spoke to her some more and she was crying and talking about how it was a mistake and how badly it affected her because she felt used and it wasn't the right guy, time, or anything. After the first time she cheated, I went into complete turmoil and it really messed me up. I tried my hardest to fall out of love with her and overtime with the more she lied and everything and the more I told myself how there's someone else out there, the more I was convinced. I don't understand why but her losing her virginity feels like closure to me. I feel free finally, because the last push was made, at least that's what it feels like. For a while I've felt as if the real love of my life is waiting somewhere and it's been so exciting but I didn't know where this relationship was going. Already imagining her out of my life makes me feel like there's something missing but I think it's something I've been wanting the strength to do for a long time. I don't think anybody can understand how bad she's hurt me; the sex is the least of it. As ironic as it may seem, all the lying in the beginning did the most damage, her cheating with sex was something I think I've been subconsciously dreading but it always felt inevitable. This seems like the perfect opportunity. Though I'm sure it's not going to be easy, I have support and I can get help if I need it. Thanks for the help and support. And my reason for abstinence is solely personal morals. I don't even think I believe in God. I see things differently than most people, though, I'm aware of that. Hopefully I'll find someone who sees things through the same 'glasses' as I. Link to post Share on other sites
JaggedRoad Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 I commend you for practicing abstinence; it's not the easiest thing in the world to do. The pain you are going through is unique to your situation, but I'm sure everyone here has experienced something similar. It's never easy when the person you need to trust the most ends up betraying you. I hope you find happiness =) Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Yes, but you're not going to like my advice. As far as I can tell, she wasn't forced to sleep with him. My question to you is do you want to live the rest of your life with someone you can't trust?! You waited three years and she p*ssed it away, just like that? You can't trust her anymore. The work that is required to overcome her infidelity would task even the most emotionally healthy people. Why, may I ask you, do you want to stay with her?! I agree with CaliGuy 100% on this one. She is sooo wrong in many ways, first you waited faithfully, FAITHFULLY! For 3 years!!!! ALL guys I know will still get some on the side from other girls while they wait for there GF or until marriage, but you actually was nice enough to trust her and she ruined it. Just think about it, it might be more to the story than originally thought, maybe she's been doing it numerous times, and while your at home jacking off, or masturbating or just with a HARD ON, she’s some where having sex??? Definitely cut her loose, and never talk to her again. Another thing is I fully understand this sistuation, I've had 2 virgin GF's in life, one ex left being "Virgin Mary" and came back a hooker Pamela Anderson!! She tried to get back with me 5 times since we broke up and I refuse to take her back, I haven't even answered any of her messages in years. The other one the jury is still out. Link to post Share on other sites
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