NoneoftheAbove Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 (edited) Hello everyone, im new here. i'd like to share my part and get some opinions..other than looking at my own..im 20 years old male, im a college student in my second year..firstly, im thankful for those who created this site and let people share their feelings, helping them on the way to their recovery.. i will try to explain my situation, it might be long but i will do my best to cut it short.. This was my long distance relationship for the first time. she lived 5,6 hours away from me, however i dont find distance as a problem.. it was around 7,8 months that we were together before i followed my feelings that she was doing something behind me and i was right.. suddenly she stopped saying i love you and all the nice things she used to say to me. so i began to wonder..if i did something wrong and i couldnt find any answers because i wasnt doing anything wrong.. i gave her all my heart and everything i could ever give to someone...i know you dont need to tell someone that you love them all the time.. other person should know and feel within that you love them..anyways.. so i couldnt take anymore.. she wasnt talking to me and completely ignored me..i cried to myself every night and fall asleep crying.. next day i decided to hack into her email account... i saw bunch of emails from her ex.. i opened it up and read everything..while she was with me, she was talking to him and telling him how much she loves him and how much she needs to talk to him.. i kept my mouth shut for few days..but the pain was so deep that i couldnt take it and i told her what i did.. she denied that the emails she sent him meant nothing.. after few weeks she admitted that she lied.. and i told her im done with you..i removed her from my msn and cut all the contacts with her..it hurt alot.. but i made it through all alone.. after couple of months i added her back on msn and started talking again.. this was the biggest mistake of my life.. i was going to my friends house, the city she lived in...i asked her if she wanted to meet..however we couldnt because i had no chance of getting to her, in a city ive never been to..she couldnt come she was always busy...however she came to my city on her birthday to see around with her friends..for the second time my old feelings for her were coming back to me and all the good memories i had with her..we spent a day together walking around and talking..to make it short...after she went back home.. she said i need to talk to you..so we did.. i decided to take her back.. even though she lied to me i decided to give it a second try. i went back to see her.. she had a friend who was touching her and she was doing the samething to him.. nothing sexual..touching his legs, arms wtv..i didnt say anything..i came back home and one day she texted me saying...baby hes touching my boobs, hes touching my ass.. im like so tell him to stop? despite all that.. she came and told me.. how her co-workers talk about their sex life to her.. i didnt say anything.. i smiled.. even though those words stabbed my heart like a knife.. when she had her pms(period) she'd totally ignore me and not talk to me.. i understand all the mood swinging and not being well.. but dont treat me like a doormat... i asked her whats wrong...she said my head hurts? how could i know you have your pms. we were talking on skype i went offline because i got mad.. i asked her why didnt you tell me that when i asked you whats wrong.. i told her you always do this..you dont have to say you have your period..you can just tell me you are sick and need sometime alone.. when i told her.. your friends talk about their sex life to you..your friend touches you...you can tell me all this but you cant tell me you are on your period? she replied with " they are not strangers" i guess im a stranger to her..if we cant talk about our personal life with each others i dont know whom else we can share with..its so stupid.. where we couldve avoided this by simple answers.. im gonna cut it short... i dont feel the connection that we had before... i love her to death and i did all i can.. i lied to my parents took their car and drove to see her for 6 hours..knowing that if anything happened on the road.. i wouldd be in big trouble by my dad.. i took all the risks.. with her.. we cant just sit and talk like normal people..i cant share my problems with her because whenever i do... next day she doesnt talk to me...and she comes up with excuses like....my computers monitor is too hot i thought i should turn it off...im gonna go read a book in the sauna..im working i cant talk..im cleaning the house..i know there are going to be days where you cant talk to me.. i know you are working you cant answer your phone.. but she does all this all the time... why do you come up to me and tell me some one is touching your body parts? why do you come and tell me your friends talk about their sex life to you?? she has pictures on web pages like facebook where you can see her boobs and all, not onnly on facebook but different chat based websites..why would you put pictures like that, it hurts man it really does..im not saying i didnt make any mistakes, ofcourse i did.. i fixed all the problem right away if not i changed myself so i can work this thing out..i lost my trust towards her.. i have feelings that she is doing things behind my back..i might be wrong..but i dont want to live thinking about these questions everyday..she didnt do anything to gain my trust..i believed when she said she ll change.. but i feel shes the same and nothing about her changed..and i dont think it will ever.. i cant change someone.. its gotta come from inside and do your part.. i cant always try to help myself and try to find answers..if you cant be there when i cry to help me through the bad days..hell i dont need you in my good days.. we should laugh and cry together, share everything.. ive been always honest and never lied.. and never will..ive been always true and always wanted to work things out.. i did all i can and everything i can..i give her my best and recieved nothing but pain and tears.. anyways im gonna cut it here because its getting too long and im getting emotional here.. i will reply later on... thanks for reading all this Edited October 6, 2009 by NoneoftheAbove
DustySaltus Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 your friends talk about their sex life to you..your friend touches you...you can tell me all this but you cant tell me you are on your period? she replied with " they are not strangers" i guess im a stranger to her..if we cant talk about our personal life with each others i dont know whom else we can share with..its so stupid. This part really stuck out for me. This girl is bad news i'm sorry. "THEY'RE NOT STRANGERS" WTF?? Blatant disrespect towards you. Touching other guys...c'mon man. You were right to do what you did the first time. ALWAYS trust your instincts. Initiate NC and move forward without ever looking back.
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 ahhh what a feelingg...sucks man
NSW768 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) leave her behind dude. your young, go out and find some that isnt 6 hours away and doesnt blow you off. and not only that, but there are lots of single girls in college and you WILL REGRET not taking advantage of that when you graduate in 2 years. believe me Edited October 7, 2009 by NSW768
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 it's not that she is 6 hours away.. the way i look at it, is that if both souls are connected and she is honest, faithful, and trust.. i dont think there would be any problems that we cant fix... you are right.. im a faithful guy..there is alot of hot girls around me everyday.. i guess i should open my eyes and go for it... live like its my last day..because with her i cant be happy
muse08 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 wow noneoftheabove...tread carefully.she sounds a bit immature first of all.i'm sure you care dearly for her, but this situation will give you time to realize what you really want and how to communicate that ...or not communicate it...
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted October 8, 2009 Author Posted October 8, 2009 the funny part.. she tells me that im immature and i act like a 16 year old kid.. i guess its all because of loving her from the bottom of my heart and trying my best to make her happy.. i will never ever take her back.. i opened my eyes and realized she cant give me what i need..
muse08 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 never say never... let go of some of the anger though.i can hear it in your key strokes;)
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted October 8, 2009 Author Posted October 8, 2009 no. im learning to control myself. and im not angry.. i just feel sad inside that this couldve been perfect only if she was honest, faithful, and loved me like she said she does.. im really happy with letting her go. because i dont want to live in hell everyday.. i will never regret my decision.. because i know there is someone out there who will love me like i will love her.
muse08 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 that's beautiful...you have a healthy outlook and that woman will come when you least expect her. but you will meet her for sure!
GrayClouds Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I think in technical clinical terms she woud be refered to as a "Wacko". She seems to have some deep, disturbing issue that she is playing out on you rather the dealing with them herself. She wants to feel need, wanted and in control in all the wrong ways. Right now the only way for her to feel good about herself is to hurt those who care for her. Sick but sad, though not your problem. You deserve better and will find it, be thankful your getting out now.
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted October 8, 2009 Author Posted October 8, 2009 thats what i think also.. the thing is that whenever she felt down or she was sad.. i was always there for her.. never betrayed always tried to help and show her how much i care about her.. that was my problem for giving too much of me.. but she doesnt deserve none of that.. i always believed in there would be no second chance.. however i didnt only gave her a second chance.. i gave tons of chances.. i did mistakes also but i opened my eyes and told myself hey man what you are is doing wrong and you shouldnt be doing this.. however.. im not looking back and moving forward with full speed.
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