milkmaterial Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Sitting on a chair with one leg up, and a finger in my mouth.. OK before u judge me for sending such a pic (no vag to be seen, it wasnt a nude pic either), we usually are far apart and its just my way of showing affection. He said 2 of his friends (or 3) asked what I looked like, and i cannot believe he showed that to them. I feel so damn embarassed since I am really quite in person :/
phineas Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 While it was a bonehead move, he might just be proud of how attractive you are & wanted to brag to his friends. If a friend showed me a sexy pic of his GF & she was hot i'd be jealous & I wouldn't think any less of his GF. That is just my perspective. Now, if he posts it on hotornot.com without your permission it might be time to think about sending him packing.
Bejita463 Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I don't see the problem. He could have given them a basic verbal rundown of what you look like, but decided to brag via picture instead. Unless the picture had something in it (like lingerie) as to make it obviously private, it is not exactly like it was an inappropriate picture to show.
Palmer253 Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 No big deal at all, seriously I'm sure his friends thought nothing less of you and you shouldn't think any less of your man for showing off the picture.
sally4sara Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I agree that it was a bit insensitive of him to share that with his friends. If you had wanted everyone to see that, you would've posted it on a web page or some public forum. You don't belong to him so why does he think it is his place to make you a public image? I don't completely understand the extent guys take this. It is one thing to be proud of a connection you have with someone, but to be proud of someone else's appearance when it isn't a child they helped create? It is not like the way a girl looks is sme effort on her BF's part, so what is there for him to be proud of? It sometimes just comes off like the want other guys to look up to them without reason. It also means they want the guys they share it with to imagine sex with their GF. So your BF wants his friends to view you like a sexual object and imagine having sex with you......ewwww.
Bejita463 Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I agree that it was a bit insensitive of him to share that with his friends. If you had wanted everyone to see that, you would've posted it on a web page or some public forum. You don't belong to him so why does he think it is his place to make you a public image? I don't completely understand the extent guys take this. It is one thing to be proud of a connection you have with someone, but to be proud of someone else's appearance when it isn't a child they helped create? It is not like the way a girl looks is sme effort on her BF's part, so what is there for him to be proud of? It sometimes just comes off like the want other guys to look up to them without reason. It also means they want the guys they share it with to imagine sex with their GF. So your BF wants his friends to view you like a sexual object and imagine having sex with you......ewwww. So you would never brag about a boyfriend's looks or want to show him off? I cannot fit that in my head.
sally4sara Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 So you would never brag about a boyfriend's looks or want to show him off? I cannot fit that in my head. I didn't birth him, so the way he looks is no achievement of mine. I show off my son's appearance as I DID have a hand in that. If I showed a friend his picture, it would be so they would recognize him when they meet. I would use a normal pic and not a sexy one too.
GorillaTheater Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I didn't birth him, so the way he looks is no achievement of mine. I show off my son's appearance as I DID have a hand in that. If I showed a friend his picture, it would be so they would recognize him when they meet. I would use a normal pic and not a sexy one too. I don't know, maybe it's just a young guy thing. When I went through boot camp, a popular pastime was to show each other girl pics. It WAS a form of bragging. And also to remind ourselves what women looked like.
sally4sara Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I don't know, maybe it's just a young guy thing. When I went through boot camp, a popular pastime was to show each other girl pics. It WAS a form of bragging. And also to remind ourselves what women looked like. Were the photos you shared of the more private variety? This is what makes it so disrespectful. Sharing with others that which was trusted only to you just so you can brag about something you didn't contribute to.
JamesM Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Is this the same bf whose friend that you want to be with? Doesn't your bf go to bars that you kinda disapprove of...as told to you by his friend? Is this friend of his one of those who saw your picture?
GorillaTheater Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Were the photos you shared of the more private variety? This is what makes it so disrespectful. Sharing with others that which was trusted only to you just so you can brag about something you didn't contribute to. Some bordered on the risque, which I gather the OP's pic did. I suppose you can make an argument for "somewhat disrespectful", but I don't get the "contribution" argument at all. It's a matter of "look at my gf, am I a stud or what".
sally4sara Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Some bordered on the risque, which I gather the OP's pic did. I suppose you can make an argument for "somewhat disrespectful", but I don't get the "contribution" argument at all. It's a matter of "look at my gf, am I a stud or what". That is a weird way to declare yourself a stud IMO. You could show a friend a picture of how cute one of your kids turned out and rightfully boast being a "stud" with good genes. I don't see how a guy can make the same claim about a woman they're dating unless they date their daughter - which brings me back to ewwwww. Stud means you sired offspring. For the record, I don't see anything wrong with showing a normal picture for reference, but the type of picture shared in the OP's story was not a good choice and she is right to feel upset.
Dark-Farmer Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I don't completely understand the extent guys take this. It is one thing to be proud of a connection you have with someone, but to be proud of someone else's appearance when it isn't a child they helped create? It is not like the way a girl looks is sme effort on her BF's part, so what is there for him to be proud of? It sometimes just comes off like the want other guys to look up to them without reason. It also means they want the guys they share it with to imagine sex with their GF. So your BF wants his friends to view you like a sexual object and imagine having sex with you......ewwww. He showed the picture to his friends to show them how good looking of a girl he was able to attract and make his girlfriend. It is a little inconsiderate, but it is a compliment. He thinks you’re a catch and isn’t that a good thing? Every male competes in this world for mates in one form or another. He caught a big “fish” and he wants to show off to his buddies. He didn’t want his friends to imagine having sex with her. Perhaps some one needs a lesson on male behavior.
sally4sara Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 He showed the picture to his friends to show them how good looking of a girl he was able to attract and make his girlfriend. It is a little inconsiderate, but it is a compliment. He thinks you’re a catch and isn’t that a good thing? Every male competes in this world for mates in one form or another. He caught a big “fish” and he wants to show off to his buddies. He didn’t want his friends to imagine having sex with her. Perhaps some one needs a lesson on male behavior. A magazine called Playboy shows nude women as well as women in more tasteful, less exposed sets. It is ALL for the sexual titillation of the viewers. If her BF simply wanted to show he had an attractive GF, a head shot would do. Instead, he shared a private sexy photo. One that would naturally titillate the viewers. One that would likely make men think about sex with the women depicted. So yeah, he did want them to think about her sexually. Thanks for the lesson on male behavior and how stupid some men will pretend to be to justify their rude actions. I assure you, it was a lesson I long ago learned.
Bejita463 Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I didn't birth him, so the way he looks is no achievement of mine. I show off my son's appearance as I DID have a hand in that. If I showed a friend his picture, it would be so they would recognize him when they meet. I would use a normal pic and not a sexy one too. I'm proud of how attractive my girlfriend is, and I sincerely hope she feels the same way. Achievements have nothing to do with it. Recognition has nothing to do with it. We are talking about a picture with a cute pose. Maybe even a sultry one. Her finger is in her mouth, not spreading herself open. I'd have no problem assuming that same pose for a picture, despite how sexually questionable assuming a feminine pose as a male would be, and giving it to my girlfriend to show anyone she wants. After all, it is just a clothed pose; I'm not playing stretch Armstrong myself, am I? I really don't see the problem.
sally4sara Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I'm proud of how attractive my girlfriend is, and I sincerely hope she feels the same way. Achievements have nothing to do with it. Recognition has nothing to do with it. We are talking about a picture with a cute pose. Maybe even a sultry one. Her finger is in her mouth, not spreading herself open. I'd have no problem assuming that same pose for a picture, despite how sexually questionable assuming a feminine pose as a male would be, and giving it to my girlfriend to show anyone she wants. After all, it is just a clothed pose; I'm not playing stretch Armstrong myself, am I? I really don't see the problem. Did you see the other thread she has about her BF's friend (must have really enjoyed the picture) telling her he sneaks around and trying to shake her loose of the picture sharing "proud" BF? If you shared a sexy photo of your GF with a buddy, and then he started trying to break her off behind your back, you might not think sexy photo sharing was such a wise idea. Sometimes it is best to quietly rest assured of how lucky you are and forgo making sure everyone else is assured too.
Bejita463 Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 The description provided did not lead me to believe the pose was "sexy." Ignoring that, I trust my girl. So, even if one of my friends tried to pull some shady crap on me it wouldn't affect our relationship.
GorillaTheater Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Sally, I stated that this was a young (i.e., immature) guy thing, and somewhat disrespectful (though nothing approaching over-the-top behavior), but I'm having a hard time understanding what appears to be outrage on your part.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 A magazine called Playboy shows nude women as well as women in more tasteful, less exposed sets. It is ALL for the sexual titillation of the viewers. If her BF simply wanted to show he had an attractive GF, a head shot would do. Instead, he shared a private sexy photo. One that would naturally titillate the viewers. One that would likely make men think about sex with the women depicted. So yeah, he did want them to think about her sexually. Thanks for the lesson on male behavior and how stupid some men will pretend to be to justify their rude actions. I assure you, it was a lesson I long ago learned. sally, I think I love you.
sally4sara Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Sally, I stated that this was a young (i.e., immature) guy thing, and somewhat disrespectful (though nothing approaching over-the-top behavior), but I'm having a hard time understanding what appears to be outrage on your part. I sometimes think we "hear" the emotion we presume due to the lack of facial expression and vocal tone in our posts. I am not outraged. I even had a pretty good day; my son is going to the White House and meeting Obama tomorrow night. I truly have nothing to be outraged about. I just simply don't agree that this is as small an act as men like to think it is. It is one of the few ways that men reduce the women in their life without really absorbing their own actions. Even leading themselves to think it is somehow, complimentary. That and the fact that it is downplayed is a frustrating observation, but it does not outrage me unless it were happening to me personally. Never once in my entire life dealing with any of the varied women I've known, have I been shown a sexy photo of their SO as proof of their own worth. There is probably something comparable that I am oblivious about; you can share that if you want.
sally4sara Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 sally, I think I love you. Oh my! Thank you much as I enjoy you around here too!
boldjack Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Milk. after reading your other thread about your EA with your BF's friend. The moral high-ground for you two is getting pretty narrow. Break up, go your separate ways and live in peace.:)
Author milkmaterial Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 Well no guys, my bfs friend told me that my bf was showing my pics to his (other) friends. If he didnt tell me i wouldnt have known.
aerogurl87 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 A magazine called Playboy shows nude women as well as women in more tasteful, less exposed sets. It is ALL for the sexual titillation of the viewers. If her BF simply wanted to show he had an attractive GF, a head shot would do. Instead, he shared a private sexy photo. One that would naturally titillate the viewers. One that would likely make men think about sex with the women depicted. So yeah, he did want them to think about her sexually. Thanks for the lesson on male behavior and how stupid some men will pretend to be to justify their rude actions. I assure you, it was a lesson I long ago learned. Hey I'm a girl and I like Playboy! (The female body can be a wonderful piece of art) Anyway, I think it may have been a bit inconsiderate but I can see where your BF was coming from. He wanted to brag about you to his friends about how hot his girlfriend was, nothing wrong with that. Hell, I sometimes brag to my friends about how good in bed my boyfriend is but that doesn't mean it means I look at him as a sex object. It's just a form of bragging about how I got this great guy and they don't. :)
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