Antidepressants, Alcohol, NPD, One Hot Mess

[deux ex machina]

Please forgive me if this comes off a bit convoluted.

 

For those who don't know, my ex has NPD.

The relationship imploded in a nasty way.

Surprise.

 

Since everything fell and went boom, his true characteristics have surfaced more and more - he sees no need for a facade any longer.

Except sometimes, in small moments.

Every new break is killing me.

 

Even though I know this is really him, it's still very distressing to me.

I loved him greatly, am guily of being a romantic.

I hate that part of myself at the moment.

 

He stops by. He's drinking, beer. He's also on antidepressants.

 

Just in case this is important: he is very thin, and rarely drank before.

 

I don't believe he had too much to drink, but the way he acted was very bizarre, almost manic.

 

My question is: even if one doesn't drink a large quantity of alcohol, is drinking while on anti-ds a dangerous thing for him to do?

[deux ex machina]

If this helps, the antidepressant is Zoloft.

[GrayClouds]

If this helps, the antidepressant is Zoloft.

 

Often anti-depressants will accelerate the effects of alcohol. You get drunk faster. If he is not much of a drinker, the booze could have really hit him hard.

 

It is highly discourage to drink, specially quantity, of booze while on anti-d's. Alcohol is a depressant so it negates any good the anit-d's do and often will create a increase in depression for days after drinking, specially if it is in quantity.

[deux ex machina]

Thank you for the answer, GrayClouds.

 

Yes, that makes sense.

 

He was laughing about things that were not amusing.

[JamesM]

 

My question is: even if one doesn't drink a large quantity of alcohol, is drinking while on anti-ds a dangerous thing for him to do?

 

Here is a link which answers that very question about Zoloft and alcohol:

 

http://depression.emedtv.com/zoloft/alcohol-and-zoloft.html

[Ross PK]

On some anti depressants or all over here it says alcohol isn't advised, but I think they just do that to be on the safe side and maybe so no one can sue them if they have an accident while drunk and on anti depressants or something.

 

I've been on anti depressants since 2006 and I've had a drink every week, it's not done me any harm, and I definatley don't act manically. Maybe he's just a rare person who isn't suited to drink and anti depressants, or maybe he has some other issues.

Edited October 6, 2009 by Ross PK

[deux ex machina]

JamesM - You've eased my mind a lot. Thanks muchly.

 

Ross - Thanks for sharing your experience. Right now, I'm of the mind that it's unmasking other issues - just like you wrote.

 

 

He was being quite sadistic. Usually, he's a bit more subtle than that.

It is really just such a trainwreck, I am so hurt and saddened by this.

This is my fault (why I am saddened).

 

 

I appreciate the feedback, it calms me.

[Ross PK]

JamesM - You've eased my mind a lot. Thanks muchly.

 

Ross - Thanks for sharing your experience. Right now, I'm of the mind that it's unmasking other issues - just like you wrote.

 

 

He was being quite sadistic. Usually, he's a bit more subtle than that.

It is really just such a trainwreck, I am so hurt and saddened by this.

This is my fault (why I am saddened).

 

 

I appreciate the feedback, it calms me.

 

Glad to have been of help, deux.

[Devil Inside]

JamesM - You've eased my mind a lot. Thanks muchly.

 

Ross - Thanks for sharing your experience. Right now, I'm of the mind that it's unmasking other issues - just like you wrote.

 

 

He was being quite sadistic. Usually, he's a bit more subtle than that.

It is really just such a trainwreck, I am so hurt and saddened by this.

This is my fault (why I am saddened).

 

 

I appreciate the feedback, it calms me.

 

As a therapist I will vouch for the link James sent you.

 

I'm sorry for your experience..how terrible.

[deux ex machina]

Ross -

 

Devil - Thanks for the checking up, and the empathy. I've come to the conclusion that some of this was done purposely. How conscious he actually is of this, I do not know.

[2sunny]

it's not your fault - as you stated...

 

it is his fault - he is the only one to take care of himself and the same goes for you.

[deux ex machina]

it's not your fault - as you stated...

 

it is his fault - he is the only one to take care of himself and the same goes for you.

 

 

Sunny, thanks for the reminder.

 

The fact that he is no longer my partner is a huge leap for me. I don't know where I found the courage.

 

I guess...it's not like I can wake up one day and like a lamp, switch everything off at once.

 

He has this childlike side that brings out a part of me that wants to take care of him.

 

I'm starting to see that it is manipulation.

 

It is amazing to me, how I can justify things to myself, as well. I have to be brutally honest with myself, and it isn't pretty...

 

I'm getting there. That fact that I'm away is almost surreal to me still.

 

It would be nice if it was a linear process, but apparently not.

 

 

Thank you again for that reminder.

I do tend to get twisted up in it at times like this.

[sadintexas]

It sounds to me like he's drinking more than you know. Perhaps some vodka on the sly that you don't know about. It doesn't take much for him to do a shot every so often and keep the high on beer in between, The serious weight loss does NOT jive with anti-d's...abuse of hard liquor does. His behavior does as well.

 

With him being NPD and drinking, things can get out of control quickly. I was M to one who was both NPD and an alcoholic at the same time. It was scary and dangerous. He hurt me many times.

[deux ex machina]

It sounds to me like he's drinking more than you know. Perhaps some vodka on the sly that you don't know about. It doesn't take much for him to do a shot every so often and keep the high on beer in between, The serious weight loss does NOT jive with anti-d's...abuse of hard liquor does. His behavior does as well.

 

He never drank a lot before, and was always thin. Now he's lost more weight still. He's approaching emaciated (hell, he is).

 

He could be drinking more than I know...that's a good point, sitexas.

 

When I think about the anti-d's, combined with alcohol, and the fact that he is losing weight and acting this way is hard to take.

 

 

With him being NPD and drinking, things can get out of control quickly. I was M to one who was both NPD and an alcoholic at the same time. It was scary and dangerous. He hurt me many times.

 

 

That sounds like a nightmare. I'm so glad you are away from that.

 

 

When you say, "things can get out of control quickly", you told a very real truth. He has always went through phases where he would do things that were unpredictable -- but this is different.

 

He told me a lot of things today that are going to haunt me for awhile.

 

He loves me so v. much. Lucky me.

[Meaplus3]

My question is: even if one doesn't drink a large quantity of alcohol, is drinking while on anti-ds a dangerous thing for him to do?

 

From what I've read and been told one should not mix Anti-D's and alcohol becuase the alcohol can intensify the affects of the medication. I believe most Anti-D's have this warning label on them.

 

Mea:)

[Devil Inside]

Deux...one of the most painful things we can experience is to see someone we care about self destruct. There is an agony involved as we want to be there for them...but we also realize that we pay with our soul.

 

Being NPD...her is very unlikely of being capable to ever give you what you deserve in any kind of relationship. You know this. You probably cannot help him.

 

You will have to be strong with your boundaries when interacting with him. He is like a storm cloud. If he is near you things will be dark and stormy...so make sure if you are going to be in his life that you have an umbrella (boundaries).

 

I'm sorry...this must be painful.

[You'reasian]

Even though I know this is really him, it's still very distressing to me.

I loved him greatly, am guily of being a romantic.

I hate that part of myself at the moment.

 

He stops by. He's drinking, beer. He's also on antidepressants.?

 

What do you mean by 'this is really him'?

How often does he drink beer?

What kinds of antidepressants is he taking?

 

Generally speaking, mixing alcohol and anti-depressants can result in:

1. feeling more depressed.

2. increased intoxication.

3. increased side affects from the medication.

4. dangerous side affects.

 

Ask a doctor or pharmacist for more information.

 

Just in case this is important: he is very thin, and rarely drank before.

 

I don't believe he had too much to drink, but the way he acted was very bizarre, almost manic.

 

My question is: even if one doesn't drink a large quantity of alcohol, is drinking while on anti-ds a dangerous thing for him to do?

 

You say he is very thin. How has his weight changed?

Edited October 18, 2009 by You'reasian

[deux ex machina]

Mea, Devil, and You'reasian -

 

Thank you for your recent posts.

 

I shall reply to each soon.

 

 

I takes a long time for me process things that are emotional, sometimes.

 

Like a friend told me once, "You and your delayed reactions!"

 

Devil, your post triggered an epiphany.

 

He's coming by this weekend.

 

 

 

I'll update then.

 

Thanks again to everyone.

 

x

[Devil Inside]

Mea, Devil, and You'reasian -

 

Thank you for your recent posts.

 

I shall reply to each soon.

 

 

I takes a long time for me process things that are emotional, sometimes.

 

Like a friend told me once, "You and your delayed reactions!"

 

Devil, your post triggered an epiphany.

 

He's coming by this weekend.

 

 

 

I'll update then.

 

Thanks again to everyone.

 

x

 

OK Deux..I will be awaiting your update.

 

Remember to be loving to yourself first.

[deux ex machina]

From what I've read and been told one should not mix Anti-D's and alcohol becuase the alcohol can intensify the affects of the medication. I believe most Anti-D's have this warning label on them.

 

Mea:)

 

 

I do think it lowers his inhibitions - a lot!

 

It does seem magnified and intensified, definite.

 

 

Thank you for the response, Mea.

[deux ex machina]

What do you mean by 'this is really him'?

 

That his facade fades away - it could be related to the inhibition-lowering quality of alcohol + anti-depressants.

 

How often does he drink beer?

 

Since we've been apart, I've limited contact significantly, so not sure.

 

He went off for a while, doing his thing. It was a relief in a lot of ways.

 

Then he suddenly started coming by again, and the last few times, visibly under the influence.

 

What kinds of antidepressants is he taking?

 

He is taking Zoloft.

 

Generally speaking, mixing alcohol and anti-depressants can result in:

1. feeling more depressed.

2. increased intoxication.

3. increased side affects from the medication.

4. dangerous side affects.

 

Ask a doctor or pharmacist for more information.

 

*hugs* That's so thoughtful.

 

Thanks, You'reasian.

 

 

You say he is very thin. How has his weight changed?

 

He had to have lost at least 20 pounds. And he was already thin.

 

He's in Machinist territory.

[deux ex machina]

OK Deux..I will be awaiting your update.

 

Remember to be loving to yourself first.

 

Thanks.

 

Deux...one of the most painful things we can experience is to see someone we care about self destruct. There is an agony involved as we want to be there for them...but we also realize that we pay with our soul.

 

I am shocked at how much it has taken out of me. I think I can feel my spark coming back...perhaps, it never really left.

 

He's such a nihilist. I'm the antithesis of that, I love to create.

Never the twain should meet, I guess.

 

It has left me doubting my own perceptions, the ground is a little shaky.

 

But I am alive and unharmed.

 

 

Being NPD...her is very unlikely of being capable to ever give you what you deserve in any kind of relationship. You know this. You probably cannot help him.

 

You will have to be strong with your boundaries when interacting with him. He is like a storm cloud. If he is near you things will be dark and stormy...so make sure if you are going to be in his life that you have an umbrella (boundaries).

 

I'm sorry...this must be painful.

 

Thank you for the right words at the right time.

 

I think one of the reasons this got to me enough to post about it, was that I've been steeling myself for him not trying to make any sort of real effort to win me back. Just dealing with that aspect was enough, since it was pretty bad.

 

So, I didn't even consider that I would have to deal him full-force again.

Not really.

 

I wasn't prepared for it.

 

It was pretty overwhelming, seeing him like that...it brought out all of my instincts to care for him. I do realize that what you say is true. He'll either do something about it or he won't.

 

I kept trying to leave, and he kept saying, "I love you."

 

So I told him, "Stop."

 

Then I would walk toward the door, and he would do it again.

 

"I love you, I'll never stop."

 

He would act lost, and hang his head.

 

It was so...staged or something. And I wasn't having it. He wasn't going to be able to do that.

 

Hard to explain, everything is still fresh.

Sure I'll cry it out later.

 

I'm not really great at expressing things that are emotional until I've had time to sort it out, somehow.

 

Not so wonderful at putting anything personal in writing until I've had time to let everything settle.

 

I am just kind of a deer in the headlights, atm.

 

Having those boundaries savied me.

 

I have a feeling he would've seduced me otherwise. Just a feeling a have, like he thought this was his last shot.

 

You're wonderful.

Edited October 26, 2009 by deux ex machina