bluewolf17 Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 So my ex and I got back together after a 7.5 month split. Things are going really really well and we have been having a great time together. Things are so much better this time around and everything is progressing nicely. The only thing is we haven't said those three little words since we have gotten back together. Now we haven't been back together very long, maybe a little more than two weeks. So I guess it shouldn't bother me. It's just that when we were together before, he ALWAYS was the one to say it. He wouldn't let me off the phone unless I said it. I realize that this R will be diffrent, but I want so badley to tell him. Part of me feels I should just wait for him to say it for. In fact, I want him to say it first. Should I be bothered by this?
mr.dream merchant Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 You two just got back together, give it some time. I'm sure if I got back together with my ex it'd be the same deal. I wouldn't be throwing the words around for atleast a month or two. I guess guys in this case are a bit more wary when it comes to getting back together with an ex. Who dumped who? You him or him you?
Roxanna Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 (edited) I don't think it matters if it "should" bother you, if it bothers you, it bothers you. I don't know your whole history, but in general I can get why that would bother you, a lot. My bf is also verbally affectionate, and if he stopped I would interpret it as passive aggressive behavior, and I would call him out on it. If you two are in a good enough place to have gotten back together, I have to assume you've pretty much worked out your issues and so on, at least to a degree. Therefore you are worthy of his affection, and I'm guessing that has something to with why this bothers you. Edited October 5, 2009 by Roxanna
boogieboy Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 (edited) Who initiated the breakup the first time? Who was the dumpee waiting for the dumper? Edited October 5, 2009 by boogieboy
Soul Bear Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Hey Blue... well wow! that was quite a turn of events. I'm glad you are happy now and you guys are working things out. I'de give it a at least a month or so...you never know, the 'right time' might just pop up at somepoint. Just relax and enjoy
Author bluewolf17 Posted October 6, 2009 Author Posted October 6, 2009 BB, I broke up with him, but then regretted it and tried to get him back for a long time. Once I stopped trying and gave up, he came back full force.
boogieboy Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 BB, I broke up with him, but then regretted it and tried to get him back for a long time. Once I stopped trying and gave up, he came back full force. In that case, you have to wait for him to say it first.
Author bluewolf17 Posted October 6, 2009 Author Posted October 6, 2009 Thanks for the replys everyone. I guess I will just calm down until he says somthing first. That whole "love is patient" thing is total bs.
Roxanna Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Good luck bluewolf. Even though no one else agreed with me, I still stand by what I said. And I can't believe I'm actually going to do this, but it sounds the same as the Sex and the City episode after Carrie cheated on Aidan with Big!! Aidan "forgave her" and took her back, but he didn't really forgive her, so he was passive aggressive in some ways, including not cuddling with her (their thing). Sure, maybe your bf needs time, but I still think that if things are sufficiently worked out that you're back together, they're sufficiently worked out that he should be investing int he relationship more.
mr.dream merchant Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 BB, I broke up with him, but then regretted it and tried to get him back for a long time. Once I stopped trying and gave up, he came back full force. Gotta wait on him then. He's treading carefully because he doesn't want to get hurt again. Yeah you two are back together, great. But that doesn't mean he has to love you right away. It may or may not take some time.
GiveAndTake Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 BB, I broke up with him, but then regretted it and tried to get him back for a long time. Once I stopped trying and gave up, he came back full force. I know everyone else is saying, he should say it first but I kinda disagree. I think you should say it first. You did the initial breakup. He was wary about getting back together then finally did. I think he's the one needing reassurance here. Just My Opinion
mr.dream merchant Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I know everyone else is saying, he should say it first but I kinda disagree. I think you should say it first. You did the initial breakup. He was wary about getting back together then finally did. I think he's the one needing reassurance here. Just My Opinion Yeah that could work to. As long as its sincere. If it sounds like a fake "I love you" he'll probably be even more wary.
looking4 green grass Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I agree with the posters who thought you should say it first. Maybe he's afraid of getting hurt, or putting himself out there? I think if you feel it, you can go on and say it, as long as you're fully prepared to not hear it back.
Author bluewolf17 Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 Just an update.. He said it last night :love: Actually, it was "I'm crazy about you. I've never stopped loving you, I still love you". Awh. I was getting panicky for no reason.
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