t0ri Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 It's been... over 7 months since my ex of 2 years broke up with me originally, and over 5 since he did it the second time. I pined for him, went over every detail and mistake during our relationship, beat myself up, I never initiated contact but responded to the few times he contacted me, etc. I let my world rest in my ex's hands, and he crushed it, along with my self-esteem. Up until last week, I was still feeling down and upset about it all, on and off. But suddenly, I feel nothing. I think I've reached indifference. I hope it lasts, though. I met a guy this weekend that completely reminded me of what I want in a man, and that my ex was none of those things. I remembered that I settled for less than I deserved, aka: my ex. I cannot believe I put up with the things my ex did to me (sitting on me so I couldn't leave, pulling my hair, yelling at the top of his lungs at me, putting his friends before me, telling me he hated paying for anything for me, talking crap to his friends, etc. Just utter and complete disrespect). Needless to say, my ex has finally been knocked off his pedestal. I actually cannot remember what I ever saw in him to begin with, and THAT is a HUGE thing for me. I've realized that this is my day, my thoughts, my life and my ex doesn't deserve to be apart of any of those anymore. I'm done feeling sorry for myself about being dumped - he actually did me a favor. I wanted to walk away but couldn't find the courage, as I was afraid of being alone, I assume. But I've learned it's better to be alone and content than with someone and miserable. NC definitely does help. I went 3 months without speaking to, or hearing from my ex. The last time he contacted me was about a month ago, and if he ever does again, though, he won't be hearing back from me. I don't hate him, or even dislike him. I've forgiven him for how TRULY cruel he treated me. He's just a part of my past now. He was my first love (we're both 22), so it's been a difficult 7 months. I'm so excited I'm finally PAST the worst of all of this!! Anyway, I just thought I'd share because 7 months ago, and 5 months ago (he dumped me twice), I thought my heart would never mend. This has made me a more loving, kind, and strong person. I'm actually thankful to have been taught such a lesson, even if it was out of my control. Time does heal all wounds. So trust it, let yourself grieve, learn from your mistakes, and move forward. It can only get better from here.
JaggedRoad Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 So it does help when you find someone new. Well, congrats to you =)
Ilovecake Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Thanks for sharing and giving I'm sure many people here hope. You pretty much just told my story up there. I can't wait to meet that someone who makes me forget and forgive. Congratulations and good luck in your new future. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
coliflower Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Thank you for your post im hoping that i will feel that way soon too, its good to know that the old saying 'time heals' is true. Good luck to you x
Nedved Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Delighted to hear your doing good Tori!! Its funny how meeting a new person who you instantly connect with can help banish all sad thoughts of the ex. Its a huge reflief when you get to the stage where you don't like or dislike your ex and can see that there's better out there for you!! Good for you Tori;)
Author t0ri Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 Thanks I don't even know if the guy is interested, I've only met him once. I'm not betting on dating him or anything, but he was the exact reminder I needed that there are other (amazing!!!) guys out there. I had forgotten that my ex is absolutely nothing I'd ever want (yet I wanted him still?). Well, I don't want him anymore, finally! I made a lot of mistakes during my relationship with my ex, and the failure was partially contributed by me. It took a long time, but I've forgiven myself for pushing him away, and I've learned from my mistakes, and will not repeat them. He was just my stepping stone to get to better things, be a better, stronger, wiser person. Good luck to you guys, you'll get there. Promise!
hopesndreams Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 What a lovely, positive post. Onwards and upwards. Good for you. Well done.
Phedre Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Very awesome and inspiring to hear Tori! Congrats and thanks for sharing with everyone. I especially liked the part about your ex finally being knocked off the pedestal we put them on while with them. Really hit home with me. Thanks
quarterlifecrisis Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Congrats! I look forward to that moment as well.
Tamia78 Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Congrats! This thread really made me smile. It's nice to finally get over your ex. I am so ready for that day! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! --T
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