ottersmk Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 My boyfriend and I are both 20 and have been dating for 11 months. We are both still virgins. I meet him while I was studying abroad in Japan (he's Japanese). Our first 3 months of dating he was very interested in me and wanted to have sex but I wanted to wait. Later in our relationship we tried to have sex many times but he couldn't get hard. Now he says that he isnt sexually attractive to me and he broke up with me. A week later he told me he wants me back and that he loves me. However he says hes still not sexually attractive to me. What should I do?? I am a cute girl and other boys are interested in me but not him and I love him very much.
tkgirl Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 My boyfriend and I are both 20 and have been dating for 11 months. We are both still virgins. I meet him while I was studying abroad in Japan (he's Japanese). Our first 3 months of dating he was very interested in me and wanted to have sex but I wanted to wait. Later in our relationship we tried to have sex many times but he couldn't get hard. Now he says that he isnt sexually attractive to me and he broke up with me. A week later he told me he wants me back and that he loves me. However he says hes still not sexually attractive to me. What should I do?? I am a cute girl and other boys are interested in me but not him and I love him very much. he's not sexually atttracted to you but yet you two can date for months, try to have sex... but then he can't "perform" and he blames it on you and dumps you? now he's back and says he loves you... but yet??? this guy is projecting his insecurities about sex on you... that's messed up! You say you love him but this is not fair to you at all and will only F with your head in the long run. Trust me.. get out now while you still have some of your self esteem in tact!
boogieboy Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Get out of this relationship. He is only using you now because he was lonely. He broke up with you to get with another girl and she didnt work out. Go start dating one of the boys who is attracted to you. You will not feel good about yourself if you keep seeing this guy.
Hkizzle Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 He broke up with you to get with another girl and she didnt work out. Don't get me wrong, I usually agree with you. But how you get the idea he got with another girl in this case?
Author ottersmk Posted October 5, 2009 Author Posted October 5, 2009 should send this email to him? Hi koneko!!!! I hope you are studying a lot!!!! I was looking at all our pictures and remembering all our memories of all the movies we watch together, matsushima, onsen, the amusement park (throwing up kazu! ), my birthday, and so many more! I just remembering us laughing so much! So much more than any of the times we fought. I feel like we fit together perfectly and where one of us has a problem we can always help each other. All relationships have problems but its the will of the people to fix the problems that keep the relationship strong. I want to fix it. I know you are so very stress right now and bing stressed really affects your life. It affects sleep, eating habits, and interacting with others. I understand how it feels and you are in a completely new environment too! Wow! Lol. Anyways if you have time to sit down and think here's some stuff thats on my mind: so the sex problem is pretty big problem in our lives. It use to be so small but it just grew larger and larger. Answer this one question: Are you truly not sexually attractive to me? or is it you physically can't perform sex because of stress or other physical problems? These are two very different things. If its physically it can be fix: going to the doctor, time, less stressful environment, etc. However if its because you find me not sexually attractive then it is a different case. Answer these questions: When you look at me, do you ever think “I want to sleep with her”? When I touch your body does it make you excited? When I kiss you very deeply and excitingly does it make you feel more excited? If you answer no to all of them then maybe being friends is best.
tkgirl Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 should send this email to him? Hi koneko!!!! I hope you are studying a lot!!!! I was looking at all our pictures and remembering all our memories of all the movies we watch together, matsushima, onsen, the amusement park (throwing up kazu! ), my birthday, and so many more! I just remembering us laughing so much! So much more than any of the times we fought. I feel like we fit together perfectly and where one of us has a problem we can always help each other. All relationships have problems but its the will of the people to fix the problems that keep the relationship strong. I want to fix it. I know you are so very stress right now and bing stressed really affects your life. It affects sleep, eating habits, and interacting with others. I understand how it feels and you are in a completely new environment too! Wow! Lol. Anyways if you have time to sit down and think here's some stuff thats on my mind: so the sex problem is pretty big problem in our lives. It use to be so small but it just grew larger and larger. Answer this one question: Are you truly not sexually attractive to me? or is it you physically can't perform sex because of stress or other physical problems? These are two very different things. If its physically it can be fix: going to the doctor, time, less stressful environment, etc. However if its because you find me not sexually attractive then it is a different case. Answer these questions: When you look at me, do you ever think “I want to sleep with her”? When I touch your body does it make you excited? When I kiss you very deeply and excitingly does it make you feel more excited? If you answer no to all of them then maybe being friends is best. I actually do think you should send him that email.. it's a little wordy but as someone who rambles myself I get it! if anything you will get a lot off your chest and maybe get some answers.. thing is, you need to ask him... and I am no english/grammar queen... but it's "are you sexually attractED to me" because how you word it makes it sound like HE is not sexually attractive TO YOU.. minor detail but I did get a tad confused by that myself in your OP... it's easy to do though! anyho... good luck and keep us posted!
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