For Very Obese People

[JamesM]

I don't understand what you meant by this.

 

I think she is saying what I said....

 

obesity is not a simple problem with a simple solution.

 

Less food and more exercise does not automatically equal weight lost.

 

The assumption is that obese people don't want it enough. The assumption is that if he or she would get of his or her "lazy butt" then he or she could lose weight.

 

If it were so simple.

 

Yes, many can lose weight quickly and keep it off. They can simply cut back on food and see results. Others can follow a diet only to see a few pounds shed.

 

BUT what it comes down to IMO...it is how we SEE obese people that is sad. Even smokers are viewed differently. We don't view them as people who simply need to get off their lazy butts and well....get rid if the butts. We look at them as addicted to cigarettes. We may not give them the freedom to pollute our air and our bodies, but we do not look down on them for the most part.

 

"Fat people" have songs written about them. They have jokes made about them repeatedly. They know that people either look down on them, view them with pity, or even worse, look at them with disgust. To many people, one of the worse possible things to have happen to you is to be seen as fat or obese.

 

Why? That is the question? While I think the OP did not mean these questions to be offensive (and as she is a petite person, she may really be curious), they are taken by many as such. It is no different than asking a black person questions pertaining to his culture and color.

 

I have never been considered "fat" or obese. I could lose a dozen pounds, but for most of my life I was called "skinny." And I hated that as much as someone who is overweight dislikes being called fat.

 

Reality is...obese people are people. Skinny people are people. We all want to be judged and respected for much more than our body size.

[donnamaybe]

No, there shouldn't be fun made of people struggling with anything.

 

BUT - smokers who WANT to quit but do not are not able because they are addicted - just as obese people who WANT to lose weight but can't are as well. And here's another - BUT - they CAN do something about it, unless there is a medical reason they cannot, and I don't mean because they just like smoking or food. Of course they like smoking or food! They have become addicted to it! But one CAN break an addiction. It takes work. Yes - eating less or more healthy AND exercise DOES result in weight loss. But so many people want it quick that when they hit a plateau, as often happens during weight loss, they give up and just go back to their old habits instead of sticking out the tough times.

 

That's my opinion, like it or not.

[JamesM]

 

That's my opinion, like it or not.

 

Ya know I love it.

[donnamaybe]

Ya know I love it.

 

Happy Friday James.

 

And, to be very honest, it always makes me very happy when I see someone, especially those I care about, overcome whatever it is they've been struggling with. A gal I work with finally quit smoking after years and years! She got one of those e-cigarettes, and that did the trick for her. She passed it on to her daughter-in-law. Maybe it'll work for her too. If only they had something like that for food addiction.

[Mr. Lucky]

I think she is saying what I said....

 

obesity is not a simple problem with a simple solution.

 

Less food and more exercise does not automatically equal weight lost.

 

The assumption is that obese people don't want it enough. The assumption is that if he or she would get of his or her "lazy butt" then he or she could lose weight.

 

If it were so simple.

 

Yes, many can lose weight quickly and keep it off. They can simply cut back on food and see results. Others can follow a diet only to see a few pounds shed.

I think, with very few exceptions, that it really is that simple. Less food (and the right kind) and more exercise do equal weight loss. Have you seen "The Biggest Loser" ? There're not giving those folks thryoid medication, they're running them on a treadmill and feeding them a low-fat diet. And the 3-400LB contestants are losing weight.

 

Now is it easy? No, I can speak from personal experience that eating a strictly low-fat diet is not easy. And I'm one of those folks that can't cheat a little because that leads to cheating alot. It's very difficult changing long held eating habits of convenience and comfort. It's a question of motivation, desire and support...

 

Mr. Lucky

[UrKillinMeSmalls]

My very obese neighbor had a new commode installed in her bathroom, and said she hated it. It looked fine to me, so I asked her why she hated it. She said it is too narrow for her.

 

Later that day, she was telling me how she has use powder to dust herself, because otherwise she gets a rash in the folds of her skin. Especially when it’s hot outside.

 

I have to admit, these are things I never thought about – there must be a lot of difficulties really obese people have that are unknown to the rest of us.

 

If you are very obese, or know someone who is really obese, you might know the answers some of these questions.

 

These questions are for/about people who extremely obese, yet still mobile and independent. These are not asked to be rude. Thanks in advance for any answers.

 

• Does it get in the way of having sex? If it is two very obese people, does it get in the way?
  

It's anatomically impossible for lots of people. Especially people in the 500+ lbs range.

• How does a person clean themselves after going to the bathroom if they have trouble reaching?
  

Some do not actually leave the couch to use the bathroom. They use diapers, urination instruments, bedpans, ect. To bathe/clean they typically use baby wipes or sanitary ointments on a washrag.

• Does a person who is really large require larger doses of some medicines? Have to pay more for insurance, ect.?
  

Typically yes, as it is based on body weight. As for insurance, every situation is different. Some have good insurance from working family members, some are on state run healthcare. There are many options, then again some just let the debt pile up because they have no other choice.

• How does a very obese person afford all of that food?
  

I'm assuming you mean the ones that cannot work and are bed/couch ridden. In many cases it's not so much the quantity of food as the quality of food. They eat more than the average person but not that much more. It's the low quality food, genetics, drugs they are on, and extreme lack of activity that combines together to create the situation. Most people in this situation are either very poor and/or have family members/caregivers that take care of them. They also collect money from the state, insurance companies, and disability to live. Yes, your tax dollars.

 

My responses in bold. Every situation is different. Personally on one hand I view it as pathetic that some people are the way they are, and on the other hand sympathy/pitty makes me realise some just cannot help it. To each their own.

[Thornton]

Less food and more exercise does not automatically equal weight lost.

 

Erm... in the majority of cases, yes it does. If, for example, a 300lb person ate nothing but one stick of celery per day, they could not remain 300lb. Not that I'm suggesting they should do that; I'm just pointing out that if your energy intake is less than your energy output you will lose weight, unless you have a serious medical condition which affects your weight. If someone burns off more calories than they eat then the excess calories have to come from fat stores, if someone eats more calories than they burn then the excess calories are stored as fat.

 

You say that eating less and exercising more does not always result in weight loss... i.e. burning off more calories than you consume does not result in weight loss. Tell me: if someone burns off more calories than they eat, where would the extra calories come from if not from fat stores? Perhaps the calorie fairy brings people a few extra calories in the night to make up the difference between what they eat and what they burn off, so they don't lose weight? Or perhaps people are kidding themselves about how many calories they actually eat?

 

In places where there is famine, nobody is 300lb, because they don't eat enough. Hmm, funny that so many Western people have this "illness" where they can't lose weight no matter how much they starve themselves, while starving people in the developing world don't seem to have that "illness" at all! I think many people kid themselves about being on a diet while still eating far too much - people have completely lost touch with reality regarding what is a normal sized portion of food.

 

 

The assumption is that obese people don't want it enough. The assumption is that if he or she would get of his or her "lazy butt" then he or she could lose weight.

 

If it were so simple.

 

Yes, many can lose weight quickly and keep it off. They can simply cut back on food and see results. Others can follow a diet only to see a few pounds shed.

 

In most cases that is true - if the person got off their butt and stopped eating so much they would lose weight - unless there's a genuine medical reason for their weight, which is very rare. If you lose weight and then put it back on... sorry, but you started eating too much again. Too many people lose weight and then go back to their former bad habits and get fat again. Remaining slim requires a permanent change in diet, which many people don't have the willpower to maintain.

 

BUT what it comes down to IMO...it is how we SEE obese people that is sad. Even smokers are viewed differently. We don't view them as people who simply need to get off their lazy butts and well....get rid if the butts.

 

Don't we? I certainly view them as people who need to stop being so weak and quit their addiction.

 

 

We look at them as addicted to cigarettes. We may not give them the freedom to pollute our air and our bodies, but we do not look down on them for the most part.

 

I beg to differ. Many people look down on smokers, and refuse to date them, or even be friends with them in some cases. Overeating is a habit that people need to cure themselves of, the same as smoking is. Since this is a dating forum I guess it's appropriate to say that neither gluttony nor smoking are attractive, and I would not date someone who had either of those vices.

Edited October 9, 2009 by Thornton

[clv0116]

Even smokers are viewed differently. ....we do not look down on them for the most part.

 

I'm equal opportunity - I won't date fat people or smokers.

[Virgo1982]

I haven't read the book you mentioned James, so forgive me, but I do find it really really hard to believe what you say above when obesity is very uncommon in many populations around the globe, and was relatively uncommon globally until about 50 years ago.

 

I think the reason has to do with different metabolisms and technology-not food. Most people aren't farmers. They work in a cubicle or office. Either way, they're sitting most of the time. We have swiffers and microwaves, video games and more than 300 channels on cable television. I had a friend who ate constantly and did not exercise and she remains a size 7 to this day. I have friends who blame their children for their obesity and some women who bear children and "bounce back" with no exercise.

[lovemachine5687]

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[NoIDidn't]

Interesting thread. I am much larger than I was when I married. I had high risk pregnancies every single time (four kids) and packed on weight with each one. I lost all of it the first two times, but the third and last time its taken more than three years to lose half of it. Mostly because I was eating junk, but that can be fixed.

 

Its interesting to read the bias of some against the overweight or obese. I agree with James, nowadays the weight at which one is considered obese has gone way down. My scale says that I am "obese", but I wear a size 14. I pay it no attention. I am very active - often run/walking 7 miles a day and working up to 10 (my goal is to one day do a marathon). I run with and behind my children. I lift weights. In fact, I have a very high muscle-to-fat ratio that accounts for me coming up as "obese". Muscle weighs more than fat, so that's pretty easy to see.

 

All of my blood work is in the normal range. My cholesterol is under 150. My A1c is ~4.8. My resting pulse is 62. Overall, I am very healthy when considering those numbers, but my weight is too high. My numbers are far better than the majority of my still-thin friends that think nothing of stuffing themselves with processed food that's loaded with sodium and fat.

 

To answer the questions that DEM asked, I don't have any of those problems. LOL. Not even when I was pregnant. Not every big person is so inflexible as to not be able to reach what needs to be reached. And sex, IMO, is only a problem for the morbidly obese that are bedridden.

[Taramere]

Its interesting to read the bias of some against the overweight or obese. I agree with James' date=' nowadays the weight at which one is considered obese has gone way down. My scale says that I am "obese", but I wear a size 14. I pay it no attention. I am very active - often run/walking 7 miles a day and working up to 10 (my goal is to one day do a marathon). I run with and behind my children. I lift weights. In fact, I have a very high muscle-to-fat ratio that accounts for me coming up as "obese". Muscle weighs more than fat, so that's pretty easy to see.[/quote']

 

A lot of images of feminine beauty press the "fragile" rather than healthy aesthetic on women. An ex boyfriend of mine used to constantly bang on about how the waif-like, anorexic look was his aesthetic ideal ("I know it's wrong, but..."). As a woman who has a Northern European type frame, rather than a daintily childlike build, I'm never going to look like that. Especially as I was involved in a lot of sport as a teen, and therefore have an athletic rather than fragile look. But the "very thin and tiny-boned is best" mindset is pushed on women constantly. It's something we have to work hard to filter out if we're to stay mentally and physically healthy.

 

I think that media images of very slim models (sometimes photoshopped to make them look even thinner than is possible for them, let alone any normal woman) are totally counterproductive in a society that's attempting to tackling an increasing obesity problem. It's a little like the reward scheme run by my gym. Last year, they ran this programme whereby you got various rewards as you burned up calories in the gym. You had to work hard to get those rewards, but they were attainable. I was in there, working out hard with these positive goals in mind. But then this year (understandably, for economic reasons) they raised the bar drastically to the point where you'd have to be training like a dedicated Olympian athlete to win the top reward. My interest in the gym drained away as a result, and I'm having to find other ways of motivating myself to go there.

 

I can't help thinking that there are similar processes at work when it comes to morbidly obese people trying to find a motivation to lose weight. I think something like Weightwatchers is on the right track - featuring real life women who have lost a great deal of weight and who can talk about the psychological and physical benefits.

 

Even normally sized women tend to feel/be alienated by the extremes and unrealistic demands of the fashion industry and of "Maxim culture". For someone who's morbidly obese and who encounters medical/practical problems (of the kind touched upon in DEM's opening post) the fashion industry and Maxim culture has absolutely nothing to offer in the way of support and effective motivation in the business of trying to be a healthy, attractive and happy person. It's something that normal women (and men) have to create for themselves and eachother.

Edited October 25, 2009 by Taramere