1Angel Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 A friend in a 18 year marriage has concrete proof her husband has been cheating. This is not his first time. He's manipulative and emotionally abusive. I'm concerned when she confronts him with latest evidence that he will coerce her into giving him another chance with guilt or other means. He will cry crocodile tears and promise to change. There are children involved. How can I support and encourage her to stay true to herself? No, it's not my problem. Yet I care for her deeply as a friend and want to help.
carhill Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 "I have room here for you if you need a place to stay to think things through", assuming you live locally to her. Actions speak the loudest.
MistyK Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 What does your friend want? Does she want to give him another chance? Figure out where she's at and support her from there. Try to express yourself without making her feel like she's going to disappoint you if she chooses to stay. If she's so easily manipulated by him, maybe she would do better to confront him at a counseling session rather than alone.
whichwayisup Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Since you say he's emotionally abusive and manipulative, how is that a good thing for their children? It'll be really hard on her if they divorce, yet it could be the best thing for everyone involved. Painful and awful to go through, but they can still co-parent together, just not under one roof. Suggest to your friend to seek some counselling to help her with this decision and also to talk to a lawyer.
LakesideDream Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Tell your friend you will support her decisions and let her come to you with specific's. No sense in getting in between them. Just be as helpful as you can without becoming a part of the drama.
NoIDidn't Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Tell your friend to see a counsellor and a lawyer. She needs facts to combat his emotional manipulation. And she needs emotional support to keep his lies and gaslighting from affecting her decisions (made with the facts she's gathered). The other suggestions are good too, but do not come close to helping her get the facts about her options (depending on what she wants to come out of confronting him with what she knows).
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