Weezy Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Just wanted to give everyone here some encouragement. I've been going through a breakup. We've had an on again off again relationship for 3 years. She ended it, but it had been on my mind too so I was able to take the break with dignity and agree with her about the breakup. Bottom line is I didn't feel like she was the one, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with because damn your brain can play some tricks on you during a breakup. I went strait NC and have been for 3 weeks. I am focusing on healing myself up. But the thoughts of would haves, could haves, pining over the Ex are still in my brain. Obviously this phase in never fun. As hard as it was, my buddies dragged me out last night and I ended up meeting a girl and messing around with her a bit. I really didn't feel like going out at all and was planning on watching TV on the couch, but I read somewhere that you need to force yourself to go out and do stuff, man was that article right. I feel way better today, have a fresh dating prospect, and another girl I was hanging out with during a previous break just contacted me outta the blue this AM. Bottom line is whatever you do, as bad as it feels, just force yourself to get out there and live life. It might seem like it's not even possible, but once you get out there and do it, you'll realize that sometimes life just takes you along for a ride. Nothing better then being NC, having no idea who or what she is doing, keeping your pride, and feeling yourself move on with your life, even if it is without that other person. You start to realize you had a life and were happy with it before you met the person.
Angel1111 Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 You're so right - nothing is more important than keeping you dignity and pride intact. And as we all know, life does go on. We don't like thinking about that at first, but it's good to know you can move forward and be happy. Glad to hear you're doing well!
quarterlifecrisis Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Good post Weezy. I've also been noticing an improvement in the past few days. My posts just a few days ago were pretty terrible, but this weekend I got away and met new girls unexpectedly. It was refreshing to say the least and a good reinforcement that I'm still attractive to the opposite gender. An ex's rejection can make you lose all your self confidence, but if you can re-build it, other women will become available to you.
Author Weezy Posted October 6, 2009 Author Posted October 6, 2009 NC is absolutely Magical. I think I hit a big healing point yesterday. For the first time I started to think about the entire relationship as a whole, instead of just the events leading up to the breakup and what I could have done differently. It was as if I was looking through a camera zoomed in on one tree for 3 weeks, trying to dissect every branch, every needle on that tree, and then someone zoomed the camera out and I could see the entire forest and how unhealthy it was. I've been beating myself up over not feeling this way or acting this way, but the reality is, I acted exactly how I wanted to act. Another good point for people. Sometimes it seems with NC that nothing is happening for a day, or even a week in terms of healing. Then all of the sudden your brain clicks in and starts to be able to form rational thoughts again, rather then being overwhelmed with illogical and irrational emotion that has you pining for your EX Stay strong people. Go NC and keep your pride in tact and let your heart heal! When it does, you will start to think strait again and it can be a beautiful thing!
danny75 Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Good for you man, keep up the self improvement.
quarterlifecrisis Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Weezy, you are an inspiration. I, too, am starting to see things in the bigger picture now. I remember all the reasons why I wasn't able to commit in the first place...that being said, I still miss her. I think I'm at a stage where I am comfortable with myself again and can interact with women with confidence (went on a few dates and there is some chemistry), but I still have a lingering hope that she will come back one day. Have you already killed off that desire? I'm not going to wait for it, and my plan is to date more aggressively in the interim, but I can't say for sure that if she wants me back in a few months I would be able to say no. In any case, NC has certainly been the way to go...
Author Weezy Posted October 6, 2009 Author Posted October 6, 2009 (edited) Haha, no I have that desire every day.. It's all part of it. I'm thinking she had another dude in the wings though.. No confirmation and I don't want any, but I'm pretty sure she had a hard 3 year deadline in her head for me stepping it up. Your heart is broken.. There are 2 ways to fix it, the easy way (them calling and wanting to get back together) or the hard way which is to let it heal and to move on with your life. Until you fully heal I think you will always want them back... With each day of NC the hope of them calling slowly dies which hurts and yet it helps you heal. As we heal our brain slowly takes more and more control of our lives and lets us move on. I had to send a buddy some pictures today and I saw some of us on my camera.. which I had to delete cause it went right to my heart... It's funny cause the same picture that you look at and don't think anything of it when they are you GF makes em look like the hottest chick on the planet when they are not. When you contact them, it takes away all your power / pride and sets you back to square one. Don't look at Facebook, or MySpace or anything and the healing can progress. Edited October 6, 2009 by Weezy
SexyShay Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 That is so true Weezy. The same thing happened to me tonight. I have been on NC for 10 days now and tonight my brain just clicked. I thought of me and my ex relationship as a whole and so totally realized that the forest was really unhealthy. I thought about how the relationship just changed and me and him could never go back to being what it was. And my pride just won't let me.
Recommended Posts