aerogurl87 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Well this is my situation. My boyfriend and I have been together officially as a couple for less than a month, but last night I went to stay over his house (it was my idea). Anyway, as usual we had alot of fun and really enjoyed each other's company. Well last night when I called my mom to tell her that I wouldn't be home last night (I still live at home) she wasn't too thrilled. Do you think I should introduce her and my dad to my boyfriend now? I was hoping to wait a bit, see if things kept going good with my boyfriend and I (which I think they will) before I did, but now I'm thinking it might be a good idea to introduce them sooner than later. And if I do, do you think a simple "hey mom and dad this is [insert BF name here] would be good enough, or should I do something more like invite him over for dinner or all of us go out to eat together?
boogieboy Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Wait another month or so, your BF might not be comfortable with moving this fast. Especially if this is the first time you slept over there.
You'reasian Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 I would talk more about your bf to your parents first. Give them the scoop. What he does - some facts about him. Where he went to school, his hobbies, how you two met etc. Get them accquainted with him verbally first and then bring him over after a few more weeks.
Kamille Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 What does your boyfriend say about meeting the parents? I mean, I don't expect him to be looking foward to it, but does he feel it's time?
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 Believe me, I DO NOT want to introduce him to them yet, but my parents (well my mom especially) is subtly pushing the issue quite a bit. Maybe if I did just tell them about him and how we met, how he treats me, etc. they will hold out a bit. I think I'll try that first.
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 What does your boyfriend say about meeting the parents? I mean, I don't expect him to be looking foward to it, but does he feel it's time? Well right when we first became exclusive he asked me if he'd have to meet them and I told him probably sometime in the future, but not at the moment. He seemed 1) relieved by the fact that he wouldn't have to meet them right away and 2) not too enthusiastic about meeting them anytime soon, especially my dad.
BobSacamento Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Have him pick you up at your house one time. That way it's about a 5 minute conversation.
Kamille Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Believe me, I DO NOT want to introduce him to them yet, but my parents (well my mom especially) is subtly pushing the issue quite a bit. Maybe if I did just tell them about him and how we met, how he treats me, etc. they will hold out a bit. I think I'll try that first. Good idea. And perhaps it's also time to discuss "meeting the parents" again. Tell him what you said here: that you mom is hinting she would like to meet him.
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 Have him pick you up at your house one time. That way it's about a 5 minute conversation. Hmm yeah that sounds like it may work. Just a quick "hi is Aerogurl87 ready?" followed by some chit chat before I leave for the evening. I just don't want my parents scaring him off, that's my main concern.
boogieboy Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Hmm yeah that sounds like it may work. Just a quick "hi is Aerogurl87 ready?" followed by some chit chat before I leave for the evening. I just don't want my parents scaring him off, that's my main concern. Just by manipulating him like this you might scare him off. Thats an ambush and its not fair if you dont warn him about it. Be careful with that.
BobSacamento Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Just by manipulating him like this you might scare him off. Thats an ambush and its not fair if you dont warn him about it. Be careful with that. He's GD pussy if he can't handle that.
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 Just by manipulating him like this you might scare him off. Thats an ambush and its not fair if you dont warn him about it. Be careful with that. Well of course I'm going to tell him that they want to meet him first! I'll just discuss it with him first, see what he's comfortable with at this point, and take it from there. I'm not trying to sabotage my relationship, but at the same time I'd like my mom to get off my case about him. Plus, I doubt he'll be angry about just introducing himself to them for 2 minutes or less.
Art_Critic Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Hmm yeah that sounds like it may work. Just a quick "hi is Aerogurl87 ready?" followed by some chit chat before I leave for the evening. I just don't want my parents scaring him off, that's my main concern. Perfect... Just by manipulating him like this you might scare him off. Thats an ambush and its not fair if you dont warn him about it. Be careful with that. No guy worth their salt would feel manipulated by this.. Any guy that has dated a girl that lived at home whether young or older has had that conversation with her parents.. Goes with the territory
boogieboy Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 No guy worth their salt would feel manipulated by this.. Any guy that has dated a girl that lived at home whether young or older has had that conversation with her parents.. Goes with the territory Theres are young-uns were talking about. She already said hes not too enthused about meeting them right now. Its a lil early, let him meet them when hes more invested and ready, dont force him. Thats IF you wanna keep him.
fatamus Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 (edited) Are his and yours families pretty close values/status/interests wise? Meeting the parents can be great or can be a disaster. One girl i dated had completely hillbilly parents which i met about 3months in, and i sat though the whole thing without a single intellectual conversation. cake-walk. I just met the father of my current girl and man i felt like a hobo. She comes from a very wealthy family and every topic we discussed i had to be on my toes not to screw something up. I knew i was in trouble when he walked in wearing a Patek Philippe. Edited October 4, 2009 by fatamus
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 Are his and yours families pretty close values/status/interests wise? Meeting the parents can be great or can be a disaster. One girl i dated had completely hillbilly parents which i met about 3months in, and i sat though the whole thing without a single intellectual conversation. cake-walk. I just met the father of my current girl and man i felt like a hobo. She comes from a very wealthy family and every topic we discussed i had to be on my toes not to screw something up. I knew i was in trouble when he walked in wearing a Patek Philippe. His parents are more laid back than my parents who are alot more strict. What I guess I'm more worried about though is our age difference. I'm about to be 20 in less than a month and he's 11 years older than me, although he doesn't really look it. (He looks more like he's around 24 or 25). So I'm worried about that too since my parents can be a bit overprotective. So I think that may be adding to his apprehension about meeting them, because I know it's adding to mine.
Roxanna Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Dude, no wonder your mom wants to meet him. You're her little baby and she wants to make sure he's not shady or some weird pedophile or that there's nothing else wrong with him that he's his age and single (and, no offense, dating YOU). It's definitely a parent thing, and it's completely understandable with that kind of age difference, IMO. And if he's that old he shouldn't be such a chickensh*t about meeting them.
You'reasian Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Dude, no wonder your mom wants to meet him. You're her little baby and she wants to make sure he's not shady or some weird pedophile or that there's nothing else wrong with him that he's his age and single (and, no offense, dating YOU). It's definitely a parent thing, and it's completely understandable with that kind of age difference, IMO. And if he's that old he shouldn't be such a chickensh*t about meeting them. Being older and single is common. I know some intelligent, successful women who are single - reason being that they wanted to focus on their career and work on themselves first until they met the right one. There's nothing wrong with that - women don't have to get married right away. Add to it divorce.
Roxanna Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Being older and single is common. I know some intelligent, successful women who are single - reason being that they wanted to focus on their career and work on themselves first until they met the right one. There's nothing wrong with that - women don't have to get married right away. Add to it divorce. I didn't say I think there's anything wrong with being 30 something and single. :rolleyes::rolleyes: I said I can understand her mother's concern. Most mothers, especially more conservative ones, as the OP stated her's is, would be slightly concerned over that, and actually meeting him would help her feel better and more comfortable with their relationship. I feel completely comfortable saying that most mothers of the generation the OP's mother probably is (I'm guessing 40+) would have this concern, and especially depending on country of residence and culture, AND given her daughter's age. Chill out.
You'reasian Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 (edited) I didn't say I think there's anything wrong with being 30 something and single. :rolleyes::rolleyes: I said I can understand her mother's concern. Most mothers, especially more conservative ones, as the OP stated her's is, would be slightly concerned over that, and actually meeting him would help her feel better and more comfortable with their relationship. I feel completely comfortable saying that most mothers of the generation the OP's mother probably is (I'm guessing 40+) would have this concern, and especially depending on country of residence and culture, AND given her daughter's age. Chill out. Your concern was why "he's single at his age" - watch for bias, unless that is unapologetically your opinion. Edited October 4, 2009 by You'reasian
New Again Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Dude, no wonder your mom wants to meet him. You're her little baby and she wants to make sure he's not shady or some weird pedophile or that there's nothing else wrong with him that he's his age and single (and, no offense, dating YOU). It's definitely a parent thing, and it's completely understandable with that kind of age difference, IMO. She said it was likely a concern of the girl's mother. Not her own opinion. And I completely agree with this. My mother is the same way and I'm several years older than the OP, and the age difference with my bf is smaller.
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 Dude, no wonder your mom wants to meet him. You're her little baby and she wants to make sure he's not shady or some weird pedophile or that there's nothing else wrong with him that he's his age and single (and, no offense, dating YOU). It's definitely a parent thing, and it's completely understandable with that kind of age difference, IMO. And if he's that old he shouldn't be such a chickensh*t about meeting them. Yeah I understand that, but my mom will be naturally biased against him for other reasons. The most profound one being the fact that he's an atheist and my mom is ultra religious (although I'm not). The age difference I'm sure will be a factor too if she finds out how old he is (she hasn't asked and therefore I haven't told her his age yet). And I don't think he's afraid of meeting my parents as he said he'd do it if my parents asked to meet him. But I still don't want them meeting him and he's not super enthusiastic about meeting them so soon either. By the way, I met his parents already, although briefly and they were really nice and cool with us dating.
New Again Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Yeah I understand that, but my mom will be naturally biased against him for other reasons. The most profound one being the fact that he's an atheist and my mom is ultra religious (although I'm not). The age difference I'm sure will be a factor too if she finds out how old he is (she hasn't asked and therefore I haven't told her his age yet). And I don't think he's afraid of meeting my parents as he said he'd do it if my parents asked to meet him. But I still don't want them meeting him and he's not super enthusiastic about meeting them so soon either. By the way, I met his parents already, although briefly and they were really nice and cool with us dating. I think the point is, you need to introduce him to your parents for their comfort and peace of mind. Honestly, since you're living at in their home (let's never even consider age) it's kind of a courtesy, I think. On a side not, if you wouldn't discuss age, why would you discuss religion?
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Posted October 5, 2009 I think the point is, you need to introduce him to your parents for their comfort and peace of mind. Honestly, since you're living at in their home (let's never even consider age) it's kind of a courtesy, I think. On a side not, if you wouldn't discuss age, why would you discuss religion? Yes that does make sense, well I guess I'll briefly introduce them to each other. As to why I would discuss religion, for some odd reason every time I tell my mom I'm interested in someone, one of her first questions is what religion are they affiliated with. It's a big deal to her (more than age I'm starting to think). I don't know why since she knows I'm probably never going to date the type of guy she wants me to be with which is someone else who is ultra religious like her.
boogieboy Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Yes that does make sense, well I guess I'll briefly introduce them to each other. As to why I would discuss religion, for some odd reason every time I tell my mom I'm interested in someone, one of her first questions is what religion are they affiliated with. It's a big deal to her (more than age I'm starting to think). I don't know why since she knows I'm probably never going to date the type of guy she wants me to be with which is someone else who is ultra religious like her. Sounds like its going to be a disaster in the making. Do you think your parents will not give him a chance when hes 31 and athiest, no matter how nice he is to them? Do you think they will tell you to break it off? Will you listen to them? You might wanna hold this off....
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