LB85 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 So this guy lead me on for a year! I know I foolishly followed but because several factors could have been the problem anyway. We are both part of the Indian community and family friends, on top of this our brothers are bestfriends and his brother would get angry if anything were to happen etc. Anyway this guy would always make an effort to stay in touch, compliment me all the time and ruthlessly flirt. He would love hanging out with me, remember things I said and even ask friends about me. He has kept his relationship a secret because he is going out with an Indian girl and on top of this, if his parents find out they would make sure he got married which he isn't ready for yet. So this guy had a girlfriend before he met me and I only just found out yesterday from his brother who said he didn't get why his brother was giving me so much attention since he was already dating a girl. I was shocked and it explained his hot and cold behaviour. However, he did ask me to go for dinner once and I didn't understand why he would always do that whereas he has a girlfriend? I know there could be several reasons, I thought he probably thought I was a great girl and connected with me but still loved his girlfriend. Except, he always knew I liked him and he kept pushing it and let me believe he could possible be interested. So why would a guy in a relationship try pursuing you to such an extent where he isn't cheating on his girlfriend?He remained loyal to her throughout but just loved showering me with attention and flirting a lot!!
EcstasyX6 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Because he's having fun at your expense, and not being considerate of your feelings. Try to move on and forget about him, but I guess that will be tough since he's in your social circle.
carhill Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 It's called setting up a backup plan. Whilst with his GF, he fluffs other girls to have them ready in case one is needed. SOP for some males...
Author LB85 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 Hmm call me naive but I thought he actually liked something about me but already loved his girlfriend so while he was in the beginning phase of his relationship, he did make an effort to stay in touch with me.
carhill Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 It's normal to enact backup plans with people you like, as opposed to the reverse. Why pursue someone you don't like? Would you enjoy him 'liking' other young ladies while he was building a relationship with you and 'loving' you?
Author LB85 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 yeh I tried putting myself in her shoes and thought well if a guy was just being friendly with a girl and if he didn't tell me everything he did then I wouldn't question him maybe. He's probably very serious about this girl, since he used to only have flings before this. And yet he was drawn to me...everyone around me was surprised about this doing that!
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