JaggedRoad Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 (edited) This has been hard for me to accept, but this is the truth. I was inappropriately insensitive toward my ex at times during the past year. It doesn't really matter what might have made me that way. I take full responsibility for my callous behavior. She was incredibly sweet to me and there I was being a block of cement. She was craving my attention and I didn't give her enough. I'm a fool. If only I can go back and smack myself silly With that said, I think it's my time to leave LoveShack. I may be back, but hopefully it won't be about the same sad song. Thank you and good luck to everyone here. Edited October 4, 2009 by JaggedRoad
Author JaggedRoad Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 It seems like I'm not ready to leave here yet.
mickleb Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 It seems like I'm not ready to leave here yet. I don't want you to leave! I think that's because I don't think you are happy, yet. If you were happy to go off and do whatever, that'd be different but I guess I can't sense your reasoning. I have my days when I don't feel the need to be here, or I just read a couple of posts, or something but I like the 'ritual', to some degree, of just tuning in and remembering how normal I am! I don't know what others get out of being here and, I guess, everyone has their own objectives but I always feel a little bad about those who say they need to leave but seem to do so sad. Don't like it. Want to give them a hug, at least, before they pack their bags. So, just in case you decide to.... ((((JaggedRoad)))) Damn these internet hugs. They're really not as good as the real thing, eh?! Take care, Mr. x
Author JaggedRoad Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 You're right, I'm not happy yet. I still have a lot that I need to sort out. I don't know how or when I'll manage to accomplish that, but I'm not there yet. I really wish I could contact the ex and have a productive conversation without breaking into argument. And thanks for the hug =)
The Collector Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Why was it obvious from the title of this thread and the content that the writer was a man? Because men are often insensitive or because it's the kind of line a woman uses on a man when she's dumped him for some other reason she doesn't want to admit to? Clue - if it was just your 'insensitivity', and you said you'd change and try harder, she'd give you a chance, right?
11bgentleman Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Why was it obvious from the title of this thread and the content that the writer was a man? Because men are often insensitive or because it's the kind of line a woman uses on a man when she's dumped him for some other reason she doesn't want to admit to? Clue - if it was just your 'insensitivity', and you said you'd change and try harder, she'd give you a chance, right? Good point.... I am dealing with the same issues right now.
Author JaggedRoad Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 Why was it obvious from the title of this thread and the content that the writer was a man? Because men are often insensitive or because it's the kind of line a woman uses on a man when she's dumped him for some other reason she doesn't want to admit to? Clue - if it was just your 'insensitivity', and you said you'd change and try harder, she'd give you a chance, right? She stopped me before I even thought about telling her that I would change and try harder. So yes, it wasn't just about me being insensitive. I usually am considerate and sensitive toward her feelings. There are just times when I turn to a brick and become a little bit insensitive, but I usually melt down when I realize what I'm doing.
Exit Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 You'll eventually get through this stage where you keep blaming yourself. I did it for a loooong time. Now I am slowly accepting how much my ex messed up too, how much better she could have done. It's not just you.
Author JaggedRoad Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 I swing back and forth between the blaming, but I want to be openly aware of what I could have done better so I can avoid repeating the same mistake in the future. And btw, nice post count =)
Phedre Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 I swing back and forth between the blaming, but I want to be openly aware of what I could have done better so I can avoid repeating the same mistake in the future. And btw, nice post count =) Jagged, Just wanted to point out that there is a different between being 'openly aware' of a fault of yours that contributed to the break up. However 'openly aware' and actively beating yourself up are not the same thing. Also, EVERYONE is insensetive at times. That isn't something you break up over, it is something you talk about and work through it it occurs enough to be an issue. If you are just thinking of ways you could have improved your behavior in the relationship, ok - but if you are looking for contributing factors to the break-up, I don't think this would be one unless you did it to the extreme, which you said you did not. You seem like such a good person. I dislike you being in turmoil
Author JaggedRoad Posted October 5, 2009 Author Posted October 5, 2009 Well, there is one thing that I'm not really eager to reveal here. And I think you can consider it to be extreme. I'll just say that my testosterone levels spike when I talk or when I'm around her. But you're right about me beating myself up. It's just the way I deal with things when I don't know what else to do. Quite unhealthy I admit. The real problem with the relationship--that was true for both sides--was that we were too dependent on each other. This is just based on what I have been able to gather, so don't take my word for it x_x And I like to be as fair as possible, so I sometimes overcompensate for the other party when I don't know enough information.
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