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needs space? can't be with me RIGHT NOW but is dating?


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Posted

Some history of us:

Met on myspace at the beginning of my senior year. We had a mutual friend that I went to school with and she went to church with. So i messaged her. long story short we ended up setting up a time to meet. love at first sight for me. I even remember asking myself what I was thinking before she walked up to me. She is beautiful. We fell in love our senior year in highschool and decided to go to college together. Our first Christmas together we decided to promise ourselves to eachother. We spent a semester in Oklahoma and I wasn't happy with the school and told her I wanted to switch. She said she would go with me. So we came home went to a community college for a semester. While at home I reconnected with some old friends. Went to a party without her (mistake i know) and kissed another girl, a short kiss not making out(mistake - broke her heart)... Didn't have the guts to tell her so the following tuesday she somehow knew that i had kissed another girl and called me to confront me, i did the stupid thing and finished my soccer game and then went to see her. we cried together. and eventually moved on. I have also told her lies about where I am or what I am doing, i guess just so i wouldn't have to deal with the drama. We have broken up before over stupid arguments and over stupid things. She has even dated before while we were broken up. This time just feels different and i dont know why. In the past I have been fine and hung out with friends and did my own thing while we were broken up. We always got back together. We went to college together again after the community college and things seemed great. We were great together at school. This past summer I got a job and spent a lot of my time at work, I would go over to her house every once in a while when I got off. Other times if I was too tired I would go home and go grab a bite with my friend since we had not eaten all day as we were both servers at a restaraunt. I knew she took offense to this because she said you tell me your too tired to drive out here but yet you go out with your friend. My excuse was her house was further than the restaraunt. Her house is about 20 minutes away and the restaraunt is about 2. In august we were broken up, she got me a card and wrote me a note in it. The card basically said that we had a different relationship but that she wouldnt trade it for anything and in it she wrote that she loved me and will always love me but just hasn't liked me recently. So from there we moved on and started college this year. Everything seemed fine. We were intimate, talked, spent time together. I even bought her a nintendo wii system for her bday which was Aug 31.

 

3 weeks ago my girlfriend said she needed space to "fix her and not have to worry about me." This was so unexpected. Just a few days before this I went to Texas A&M to visit my best friend from highschool. I asked her before I went and told her that I was thinking about going down there to visit. She said it was a good idea and that I should go because I hadn't seen him in a long time. She told me to call her when I got there, but instead I texted (mistake i know) but she didn't receive the text until 1 something in the morning when it was sent around 11. The next day i texted her when i woke up and the message was sweet and i tried letting her know i missed her. all i got back was hey. i could tell she didnt want to talk so i stopped texting. that night we went home and i tried texting her telling her im on my way home and was excited to see her. she was at a concert and didnt answer. she said she never got the text. so on the way home I had my freind trying to get ahold of her friends that she went to the concert with. finally after a couple of hours one answered and said my gf was upset with me and that they were fine. I was worried and she wouldnt answer... next few days she seemed very distant and wouldnt talk to me or text me or answer my phone calls. then she said she needed space to fix her. I flipped out and said all the dumb things I shouldnt have said...

 

It hit me hard... Then she posted pics of her and another guy on her facebook the very next weekend. by this time she had already blocked me though, but my friend saw them and told me. I flipped out again... i tried calling her 100 times that night and texting and leaving voicemails. i basically did everything i shouldnt have and probably pushed her further. After a couple of days i wrote her a letter stating that I agreed with the space and apologising to her for the past mistakes I had made. I then would text her randomly just to say I'm here for you and I love you (mistake) she wouldnt reply. Then randomly she asked about a money situation so i replied that i had bigger things on my mind and we could talk about it later. That kind of made her mad. I told her i just needed closure. So one night I was going home and knew she would be close so I said call me so we can talk and meet. We met at a gas station and I gave her more letters of memories we had. She told me she just couldn't be with me right now. What does that right now mean? If she is truly over me and wants it to end why are our pictures still up on facebook? If she is truly over me why can't she meet me to tell me so I can get that closure? We were supposed to meet this past friday. I had called her thursday and she seemed receptive and we talked (small talk) for a few minutes then I said I wanted to meet. She said ok. So on friday when it was time i called with no answer so i texted a bit later. She just kept making excuses that she couldnt meet. so i tried to be more specific about a time on monday because she said monday would be better. then she said she would try.

 

Im just so confused. This girl is the love of my life. We are young and immature and probably should have handled things differently in the past. But we also had all kinds of dreams together. House, family, dogs, jobs, everything. I want to be able to tell her that we were young and wish we would have met when we were both mature. But she keeps saying that she doesn't want to hear all the same stuff again that I said in the past like the "i will change and we are meant for eachother" which i turly believe we are. How do I show her I AM CHANGING? Even though we aren't together and she is hangin out with this other guy...

 

Again she said she can't be with me right now... what does that mean and why is she hanging out with this other guy? Is she truly trying to just fix herself and get her confidence up or what? I guess I will try the whole no contact thing but I'm not sure how that will work?? It seems like she is just completely forgetting about me even after 3 years... but i know that can't be.. thats just what it seems like...

 

I would appreciate everyone's input, but especially opinions from women who might have more insight. sorry this is so long... if you have any questions about our relationship to clear things up then ask.

 

thanks

Posted

Just back off, it's the only thing you can do.

 

I know you won't be receptive to this advice, I was in your shoes not too long ago and I refused to listen to anyone who told me to leave it alone. I wasted 5 months chasing my ex while she was already seeing someone else.

 

Right now she is with someone else and that's the only thing that matters, not little hints that she might still care, not reassuring yourself that she hasn't just forgotten about you, nothing else. She is with someone else and not with you.

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