WV_RN Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 First post. Hubby is 26 and I am 24, happily married. The other night we started talking about adding a 3rd, male preferably:p for my pleasure. Has anyone else done this? A MMF threesome? Hubby is straight as an arrow and only wants to watch, participate. No guy/guy stuff. I'm hott about the idea b/c I get to pick.
Bryanp Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 If you wish to destroy your marriage there is no better path. It will change your relationship forever.
Lizzie60 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Yes I've done that on 2 occasions.. but never in a committed relationship...so I don't know how it would be with someone I was in love with .. I don't think it would be for me.. I didn't enjoyed it as much the first time it was a lot of work for me.. the guys were straight.. but the 2nd time.. wooohoooo.. loved it.. the guys were involved with each other.. we were all so relaxed..
seibert253 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Bryanp said: If you wish to destroy your marriage there is no better path. It will change your relationship forever. Bryan's dead on. Very bad idea. If you can't stay committed to your husband, then cut him lose and D him. Then you can have all the 3 someone's you wish.
Green Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Lizzie60 said: Yes I've done that on 2 occasions.. but never in a committed relationship...so I don't know how it would be with someone I was in love with .. I don't think it would be for me.. I didn't enjoyed it as much the first time it was a lot of work for me.. the guys were straight.. but the 2nd time.. wooohoooo.. loved it.. the guys were involved with each other.. we were all so relaxed.. Lizzie interesting as always, but I agree probably a bad idea with a husband
lostsunsets Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 You cannot imagine the destruction you will do to your marriage. It will never recover. It may be all neat to talk about, but when your husband sees another man inside you and realizes that he is not (nor will ever be enough for you again) there will be nothing but pain. You will have cuckolded him and left him him thinking that you will always want more men in your life.
Stroon Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 i've had a MMF threesome. one of the worst experiences of my life, and I wasnt even attached to either of them. It may seem like a horny idea, but fantasies rarely play out as you imagine. However, if you really are determined (and it does suit some people) it needs to be arranged in some way. Going out and picking some bloke up at a bar probably wont give you what you want, as the other person is an unknown factor. You need someone who has experience in such things, and who understands the boundaries. also, you will find they know how to please you both, and know whos what to put where and when so to speak! you may think its obvious but 3 total novices dont make for a good threesome. i'm sure there are local clubs etc where you could find a contact. It seems contrived but thats the reality.
gopher Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Don't do it. I had a MFF threesome including my then wife, and it was a disaster. Your guy "thinks" he wants to watch you with another man, but the reality will be much different for him. Not to judge, but you seem very excited that you get to "pick" the other guy. Did you bring the fantasy up as a way to sleep with another man, and do you already have someone in mind?
harmfulsweetz Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 I have to say I wouldn't do it in a committed R, if I was simply 'hooking up' with a guy and he and I wanted it, then sure, why not? But with someone you love, it can go all shades of wrong. Your H may like the idea of you with another man, but the reality is somewhat different. He could end up left out, realising this wasn't for him at all, or what if he decided he wanted MFF one? Would you be ok with that? Is your M strong enough to survive all the doubts, issues, accusations etc that will follow?
AAlike Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 I think that some of the answers here are a little melodramatic. I don't think that this implies at all that the husband is not satisfying her or that he's not enough for her, nor does it mean that she is being unfaithful and "can't stay committed". If it's an idea that they came up with together, then there is nothing disloyal going on. However, as others have said, you are potentially risking a lot here. There are certainly people that regularly do this sort of thing within a relationship, and there are others that try it once and have a blast, never to do it again - however, there are certainly more negative stories than positive ones, and unfortunately there's really no way to know how yours will turn out until you try it. Keep in mind that the visual component of sex is a lot more important to men, and the act of actually SEEING you with another man might be a little tougher on him than he originally envisioned -especially at your age. so with all that said, I'd probably advise against it. while I disagree with the others that have said that it will destroy your marriage with absolute certainty, there's certainly that chance - and even if it's only a 10% chance, do you really want to take that risk? I would probably try other ways to spice things up if I were you, and defer the threesome talk for a while...if in five or ten years you guys think that it still sounds intriguing, I think that you'll be much more equipped for it.
Recommended Posts