bitteorca Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Hey everyone, I haven't posted for a while, just thought I'd update on my situation! I have been doing OK, I don't wake up and think of her (or hardly ever) and I have been healing day by day, it has been quite a while since it all happened (about 4 months ago). I have been getting on with life, although I can't say I'm fully over it all, I'm certainly on my way. I do still want a girlfriend, and soemtimes feel a little desperate, but this is also getting better with time. I think this just comes with being in an intimate relationship for such a long time (3.5 years). She recently picked up her stuff. It was very brief, and I made an effort not to really talk to her about anything. One side of me feels a bit bad about this, I wanted deep down to talk to her; but the other side says well done, all advice in forums like this points to that kind of behaviour. She hugged me, which I kind of half-hugged back, and she weirdly complemented me on my shoes (?! lol). The whole ting lasted about 30 seconds. Although she isn't a friend of mine on facebook, I have noticed she is a friend of one of her ex bfs. I don't know what to make of it. I think I am being overly paranoid thinking that she is getting up to stuff with him, after all I am friends with my ex, but my over-active mind can sometimes get the better of me. Half of me wants to ask her, but I know that is riduculous really. I suppose I just want someone else to tell me I am reading in to such a thing far too much! I think thats it... I hope you are all doing OK. And for those fresh heartbreaks out there, it does get better, although it doesn't seem like it ever could at the time. Chin up boys and girls
Maoky Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 It's nice to hear that the adage 'time heals everything' IS true Thanks for sharing; I think I'm at a similar point of recovering as you, where I'm able to restrain myself from her now.
Nedved Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Hey everyone, I haven't posted for a while, just thought I'd update on my situation! I have been doing OK, I don't wake up and think of her (or hardly ever) and I have been healing day by day, it has been quite a while since it all happened (about 4 months ago). I have been getting on with life, although I can't say I'm fully over it all, I'm certainly on my way. I do still want a girlfriend, and soemtimes feel a little desperate, but this is also getting better with time. I think this just comes with being in an intimate relationship for such a long time (3.5 years). She recently picked up her stuff. It was very brief, and I made an effort not to really talk to her about anything. One side of me feels a bit bad about this, I wanted deep down to talk to her; but the other side says well done, all advice in forums like this points to that kind of behaviour. She hugged me, which I kind of half-hugged back, and she weirdly complemented me on my shoes (?! lol). The whole ting lasted about 30 seconds. Although she isn't a friend of mine on facebook, I have noticed she is a friend of one of her ex bfs. I don't know what to make of it. I think I am being overly paranoid thinking that she is getting up to stuff with him, after all I am friends with my ex, but my over-active mind can sometimes get the better of me. Half of me wants to ask her, but I know that is riduculous really. I suppose I just want someone else to tell me I am reading in to such a thing far too much! I think thats it... I hope you are all doing OK. And for those fresh heartbreaks out there, it does get better, although it doesn't seem like it ever could at the time. Chin up boys and girls Hello there bitteorca Its been a while my friend. glad to hear your doing well and getting over her slowly. I've been been doing a lot better to. How time heals hey..well almost I think you mind is prob racing there a little and i supose not having contact with her dose that. i'm the same. Even 4 months down the line i still wonder who she's with or what she's doing but what can we do. Maybe she is with her ex again but maybe not. They might be just friends on facebook. i'm still friends with my ex ex girlfriend on facebook but not my last girlfriend. If they've been finished a long time then the likelyhood is that their prob not together so don't let it get to you. Your well on the road to recovery so don't let a anything set you back but as you well know there is certain days memories come back. Must of been weird seeing her when she came around to collect her stuff mind. Like you i wake up most mornings and don't really think of her anymore. Still have bad days but their far less frequent and looking at other women in the gym most days helps to. Have you been out on any dates or anything?
Author bitteorca Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 Hello there bitteorca Its been a while my friend. glad to hear your doing well and getting over her slowly. I've been been doing a lot better to. How time heals hey..well almost I think you mind is prob racing there a little and i supose not having contact with her dose that. i'm the same. Even 4 months down the line i still wonder who she's with or what she's doing but what can we do. Maybe she is with her ex again but maybe not. They might be just friends on facebook. i'm still friends with my ex ex girlfriend on facebook but not my last girlfriend. If they've been finished a long time then the likelyhood is that their prob not together so don't let it get to you. Your well on the road to recovery so don't let a anything set you back but as you well know there is certain days memories come back. Must of been weird seeing her when she came around to collect her stuff mind. Like you i wake up most mornings and don't really think of her anymore. Still have bad days but their far less frequent and looking at other women in the gym most days helps to. Have you been out on any dates or anything? Hey Nedved Thanks for replying. I'm glad you are doing ok too. You are right, time does heal, albeit slowly! I think you are probably right about the facebook thing, I'm reading too much in to it. But even if she is, more fool her right?! Not my problem any more I suppose. But I don't think she is any way, she'd be stupid if she did and I would think she knows that too. Yeah it was slightly weird seeing her, but I wasn't as bothered as I thought I would be. I was worrying a bit and getting nervous before she came, but when she was there I was pretty calm. Like I said, I was quite cold with her. I think that was the best way to be, but I don't know I kind of didn't want to be, but wanted to show her I was strong. Like you, I do still think about her, and still wonder what she is doing. Its painful, I'm sure you know, but it gets better as each day passes and thoughts become less frequent. On the bad days, I still want her back, and still kick myself for not making it work better. But on the good days, I just know I will be fine. I suppose there will always be a weak spot for her inside me. I was going on dates with this girl, but I stopped that. I didn't really feel it was right in the end, and decided to jump ship before any one got hurt. Pretty proud of that really, thought it was a mature thing to do, and it would of been very easy of me to carry it on seeing as it did ease the pain a lot from the break up (if that makes sense!). And that's another thing, I think if I had another girlfriend, I wouldn't think about my ex as much at all. I know that might sound like a bad thing to say, but its just true. Human nature I suppose! How about you? Have you been on any dates? I seem to pull every time I am out, but it never goes anywhere, and they're probably the wrong type of girls! haha. I want to stop getting drunk and pulling girls, I think it kind of indicates that I am looking for it a bit too much, when I shouldn't be. I'm sure someone will come my way one day, and I need to bear in mind that I don't need to rush it, it doesn't have to be next weekend, or the one after that etc. You might be in a similar situation? I remember you said you were going out drinking etc (I think!) Again, thanks for replying, and glad to hear you are far down on the road to recovery!
Confused_Chump Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 (edited) Glad things are going well for you. I decided to chime in since I am sitting at around the same time frame as you (3.5 months for myself) since everything happened. Things are much better for me as well but a day still doesn't go by where I don't think of her. However, it no longer hurts as much as before when I do and the length of time she's in my head is much shorter now. Time and NC does do its job, everyone just has to have faith in it. Edited October 5, 2009 by Confused_Chump
Author bitteorca Posted October 5, 2009 Author Posted October 5, 2009 Glad things are going well for you. I decided to chime in since I am sitting at around the same time frame as you (3.5 months for myself) since everything happened. Things are much better for me as well but a day still doesn't go by where I don't think of her. However, it no longer hurts as much as before when I do and the length of time she's in my head is much shorter now. Time and NC does do its job, everyone just has to have faith in it. Seconded! Glad to know you are getting better as well
Recommended Posts