Exit Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 5:30am, just not very tired tonight, figure I could vent a little about my coping progress. Well, it's gotten much easier. I'd say I'm 9/10ths of the way there. I've accepted that my ex is a serial monogamist in the truest sense of the term, she hasn't been single in what, 8 years? Always jumping from one to the next. I did some reading up about those type of people today and it really struck home with me. This is the page I read, maybe it will resonate with someone else here. http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-serial-monogamist.htm I still think about her sometimes. The other night was actually really weird, I was brushing my teeth, and for the first time in a long time, I had a really clear vision of her in my mind. Her face, smiling like she used to when we were together. For all the months I spent pursuing and chasing her, for some reason I could never really picture her clearly when I thought about her. But that night it was like a picture-perfect vision of her in my mind. I guess I'm no longer clouded by anger or confusion and I was finally able to just have a fond memory of the beautiful girl I used to be with, while at the same time realizing that I never really knew her. I met a girl off a dating site during the week and had a lot of fun but not sure if it will lead anywhere. I notice now as I browse the dating sites I find girls that I am genuinely interested in, it no longer feels like I'm forcing myself to move on, and I'm certainly not looking for someone to "replace" my ex. I'm realizing there are plenty of cool girls out there and that I don't need to worry. Still mainly focusing on myself even though I would enjoy having a girlfriend. Been struggling with sticking to my diet and unfortunately starting smoking heavier than ever thanks spending more time with friends who smoke, but I plan on stopping that. My birthday is at the end of March which means right now I have a perfect 6 month window to really pursue getting in shape, something I've wanted for a long time. It may require avoiding friends and situations that lead to fast food, smoking, or alcohol, it may mean I'll be a bit lonely or secluded this winter, but it will be a huge payoff to finally be in shape when spring rolls around. I know now that I will be okay. And many of you know I was one of the worst cases here at the forums, completely DYING over my ex, completely unwilling to let go. But finally I did, and the withdrawal wore off, and suddenly it got easier. If I can do it, anyone can. Trust me, the biggest part is getting your ex off of that pedestal. You get so caught up in the chase that you don't even realize what you're doing anymore. I've done a complete 180, instead of hoping to hear from her some day, I actually hope I never do. The line in my signature is really how I've summarized this entire experience. It's the most glorious mistake I've ever made. Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 It's the most glorious mistake I've ever made. Clever you! I know what you mean. I'm beginning to twist this thing around in my head, too.. So pleased to read how well you're doing, Exit. I think your next step is a drunken night with your mates in a cheap noodle bar, singing 'My Way' on the karaoke! (For maximum fun reasons, of course!) Keep on truckin'. x Link to post Share on other sites
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