tkgirl Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 (edited) ok, I'm a little restless tonight.. staying home because I have to work all weekend.. 2 12's back to back!.. and figured I better rest up... so I decided to break out some old school metal... GNR Appetite for Destruction to be exact.. ok, ok... I'll get to the point! I guess it's bringing back some memories of guys in my past and how I seemed to attract the certain kind of guy, only to get my heart broke by them.. this also happened with the last guy... Anyho, they are basically your typical "bad boy"... a little rough around the edges, maybe some trouble with the law or in a rock band or whatever... not really boyfriend material at all! but... I guess I can be a little bit of a wild child too.. maybe not so much any more but I still like to party and have fun and can get a little reckless sometimes. Well, a few times what has happened to me I'll meet a guy... there'll be huge sparks on both sides but they are basically our for some "fun" and once they get to know me, they'll tell me things like "you're very pretty, you're so cool" and then the kiss of death...."I really respect you" AGGGHHH!!! why do guys do this? I mean, I guess I supposed to take that as a compliment...? I don't know... like can't they want me and respect me at the same time... or does that not fit in with their "bad boy" lifestyle? anyho... any insight would be mucho appreciated! Edited October 3, 2009 by tkgirl
boogieboy Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Its aight, you'll grow up eventually and the bad boy phase will run its course. No girls fit into the "bad boy" lifestyle. The style is to run thru chicks like underwear. Any girls that stay are FWB's only. You cant keep a bad boy, they dont need to be tamed, because they have too many options to have fun. You know this already..
Author tkgirl Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 Its aight, you'll grow up eventually and the bad boy phase will run its course. No girls fit into the "bad boy" lifestyle. The style is to run thru chicks like underwear. Any girls that stay are FWB's only. You cant keep a bad boy, they dont need to be tamed, because they have too many options to have fun. You know this already.. um... I'm 44! and I thought I had my fill of bad boys a long time ago.. 'til I realized the last guy I was with was one too.... and I found myself wildly attracted to him! yea... guess I needed to get it out of my system once and for all... and now I can finally grow up! I guess I was more curious why this happened to me... where these kind of guys seemed to like me, be attracted to me, whatever.. but yet they respected me too much? ugh... or maybe I should be grateful or I could've end up more hurt in the long run... huh, there's a thought!
boogieboy Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 (edited) um... I'm 44! and I thought I had my fill of bad boys a long time ago.. 'til I realized the last guy I was with was one too.... and I found myself wildly attracted to him! yea... guess I needed to get it out of my system once and for all... and now I can finally grow up! I guess I was more curious why this happened to me... where these kind of guys seemed to like me, be attracted to me, whatever.. but yet they respected me too much? ugh... or maybe I should be grateful or I could've end up more hurt in the long run... huh, there's a thought! You realize that at 44, the more you let yourself feel wild about the badboy type, the less you will be attracted to normal guys that will treat you right. The opposite is for the bad boys. The more they sleep around, the less likely they will find a girl that satisfies whatever it is theyre looking for. BTW, its not that they like you, or are attracted to you, they just go for the easiest targets. They dont want to do much work to get laid. They move on from any women that gives them resistance. Edited October 3, 2009 by boogieboy
Trialbyfire Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Risk taking personality types can be magnetic, since they don't adhere to logical progression of actions. They keep you on your toes and interested, since you don't have a clue what to expect from them. That's the positive side. The flip side to the same dynamic is that it can become a dramacoaster ride of one extreme of happiness, to the other extreme of pain. Extended exposure to this, can create a form of adrenaline addiction, pain to pleasure. Very unhealthy.
Author tkgirl Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 You realize that at 44, the more you let yourself feel wild about the badboy type, the less you will be attracted to normal guys that will treat you right. The opposite is for the bad boys. The more they sleep around, the less likely they will find a girl that satisfies whatever it is theyre looking for. BTW, its not that they like you, or are attracted to you, they just go for the easiest targets. They dont want to do much work to get laid. They move on from any women that gives them resistance. hmm.. that makes sense about the resistance thing.. sort of. Thing is, I would sort of "connect" with these guys.. things would happen but they would stop themselves before it got too crazy (i.e. sex) So I know there was something there, but they would be the ones that stop themselves and then tell me how much they respect me etc... and I know it's because they don't want to lead me on, hurt me etc. so in a way I appreciate it but on the other hand it's been very frustrating. I'm not saying that this happens to me every time, just a few times... but these are the guys I have a harder time figuring out and therefore I still will think about them! Risk taking personality types can be magnetic, since they don't adhere to logical progression of actions. They keep you on your toes and interested, since you don't have a clue what to expect from them. That's the positive side. The flip side to the same dynamic is that it can become a dramacoaster ride of one extreme of happiness, to the other extreme of pain. Extended exposure to this, can create a form of adrenaline addiction, pain to pleasure. Very unhealthy. yep... I think you nailed it pretty good! That definitely sums up my last "relationship" (or whatver it was!) I really hope I got all that out of my system now... and yeah, you'd think by 44 I should have... this last guy really caught me off guard! thanks for the input... it does help me put some of this in perspective!
boogieboy Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 hmm.. that makes sense about the resistance thing.. sort of. Thing is, I would sort of "connect" with these guys.. things would happen but they would stop themselves before it got too crazy (i.e. sex) So I know there was something there, but they would be the ones that stop themselves and then tell me how much they respect me etc... and I know it's because they don't want to lead me on, hurt me etc. so in a way I appreciate it but on the other hand it's been very frustrating. I'm not saying that this happens to me every time, just a few times... but these are the guys I have a harder time figuring out and therefore I still will think about them! Boy they pulled the wool over your eyes real good. Theyre PLAYERS. They use that routine on everyone. They make all the women feel like they connected with them. If they didnt, they wouldnt get laid when they wanted to. Then to minimize the womans hurt and their guilt, they say they are pulling out and stopping because they respect you. Do you see how stupid that sounds? Who pulls out of a connection because they respect you? Its all lines. They dont respect you, its a great mind f*ck to keep the women from latching on after a dumping. Dont you think they went though all kinds of lines to get women off their backs? "I respect you" must be the one that works best.
carhill Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 OP, check out this thread and see if it helps with recognizing the signs before you get in deep... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2418285 I would say your OP mirrors exactly what I've heard from every woman in my lifetime who has dumped their bad boy/player stories on me in between their oxytocin addictions to that genome type. Now, when they open their mouths, I bolt. Hey it took 50 years and a marriage to get me that far; don't feel bad
Hkizzle Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Well, a few times what has happened to me I'll meet a guy... there'll be huge sparks on both sides but they are basically our for some "fun" and once they get to know me, they'll tell me things like "you're very pretty, you're so cool" and then the kiss of death...."I really respect you" AGGGHHH!!! why do guys do this? I mean, I guess I supposed to take that as a compliment...? I don't know... like can't they want me and respect me at the same time... or does that not fit in with their "bad boy" lifestyle? anyho... any insight would be mucho appreciated! BS helps remove a girl's panties. That's why. Words of wisdom from a former king of BS.
Author tkgirl Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 wow... if all this is true I'm feeling pretty stupid right now! and I hear you guys, I do... and I've been around my share of players believe me... but these guys I'm talking about are different. They could have had sex with me... meaning I was into it too... but they would back down and say they respected me too much. I know they were just out to get laid, but the fact that they couldn't do that with me made me wonder... what makes a guy respect a women? I guess I should have made that my original question... sorry!
Hkizzle Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 wow... if all this is true I'm feeling pretty stupid right now! and I hear you guys, I do... and I've been around my share of players believe me... but these guys I'm talking about are different. They could have had sex with me... meaning I was into it too... but they would back down and say they respected me too much. I know they were just out to get laid, but the fact that they couldn't do that with me made me wonder... what makes a guy respect a women? I guess I should have made that my original question... sorry! That's different then. They probably think you're a nice girl and rather be your friend than hurt you.
Author tkgirl Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 That's different then. They probably think you're a nice girl and rather be your friend than hurt you. yeah... like the last guy... told me "he respected" and then ended it only to come back a few months later. And yeah, I shouldn't have taken him back but I really liked him! We tried dating again for a few more months and this time we did sleep together (a couple times) then he freaked and bailed again.. then he's back we try the "friend" thing but that was too wierd. I didn't want to be just friends.. I was still very attracted to him and had that emotional attachment thing etc. I'm just trying to put all these pieces together I think... from what happened to me in the past to this last guy. Like why can't guys respect us and want us at the same time? You know.. like be in a real relationship? Is it just that some guys are just too emotionally immature?
Hkizzle Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 yeah... like the last guy... told me "he respected" and then ended it only to come back a few months later. And yeah, I shouldn't have taken him back but I really liked him! We tried dating again for a few more months and this time we did sleep together (a couple times) then he freaked and bailed again.. then he's back we try the "friend" thing but that was too wierd. I didn't want to be just friends.. I was still very attracted to him and had that emotional attachment thing etc. I'm just trying to put all these pieces together I think... from what happened to me in the past to this last guy. Like why can't guys respect us and want us at the same time? You know.. like be in a real relationship? Is it just that some guys are just too emotionally immature? There are guys that can respect and want a woman at the same time. But not many men these days understand integrity and how to respect women. If I was a girl I would filter men out by integrity first, and not whether they are attractive or not. There are plenty of attractive men, but you can only find long term happiness with a man that has integrity.
boogieboy Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Like why can't guys respect us and want us at the same time? You know.. like be in a real relationship? Is it just that some guys are just too emotionally immature? There are plenty of guys that respect you and want you at the same time, you just dont like those guys.
Hkizzle Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 There are plenty of guys that respect you and want you at the same time, you just dont like those guys. True that....
Author tkgirl Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 There are guys that can respect and want a woman at the same time. But not many men these days understand integrity and how to respect women. If I was a girl I would filter men out by integrity first, and not whether they are attractive or not. There are plenty of attractive men, but you can only find long term happiness with a man that has integrity. it's funny.. I was just thinking about "integrity" today. That seems to be really lacking in today's society and it's something I appreciate more and more! so here's my new list of qualities I want in a guy: 1. INTEGRITY 2. fun and adventurous... yet responsible at the same time 3. ok.. good looking! (you gotta be attracted right?)
Author tkgirl Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 There are plenty of guys that respect you and want you at the same time, you just dont like those guys. hmmm.. I need to work on changing that!
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