seoa Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 (edited) I feel like women are not as willing to do this. They want someone who has a good job and is attractive and is smart and is well-dressed and writes them a good e-mail and has social confidence and who is not an accountant and who is not vain and who is not bitter. . . . . Since I have all these attributes I don't see that it's unreasonable to expect them in the men I date... It's about finding your reasonable-equivalent, which is important for creating a LTR. I don't think it's reasonable for a man in a boring, 9-5, low responsibility job to expect to get a confident, independent, company-owning career-woman interested in him... (Not saying the OP fits the former description, but it is why I asked the question.) It's about finding someone who's at your 'level'... how often do you meet a new man in person? Once a month? Twice a month? I feel like if everyone who is actively online dating made it a point to meet a new person face-to-face every week for a quick casual date until they found a mutually committed relationship, the whole thing would work much better Ha ha - really??? I couldn't possibly find time to date a different guy each week... My life is far too full for that... There are pros & cons to internet dating - the pros are that you have a chance to connect to a lot of people you wouldn't 'bump into' in real life, and that you have a chance to look at some basic compatibility criteria up front... the con is that some people can rule good matches out based on non-important criteria (e.g. I'm allergic to cats - I no longer respond to the 'pets' question in my profile, because this one really is a silly reason to rule out a potentially otherwise fabulous match!) But you have to take the good with the bad... life isn't perfect, no need to get bitter about it... Edited October 6, 2009 by seoa
robinincarolina Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 From a female on the dating sites, most of the emails I get I roll my eyes. Everynow and then though, one grabs my attention. It is the ones with humor and that make me laugh or smile. I have dancing in my profile, one guy emailed me "Is your dance card full?" Not bad. Another one called me Scarlett as in Ohara and not because of my looks, something in my profile. Be creative and funny, sarcastic is good if you do it gracefully. Don't say: Hi, how are you, can we chat. Hello gorgeous I would like to take you to dinner I will be at such and such at 8 if you wanna meet In other words don't be boring.
pdq Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 And less likely to answer back That's because I'm replying in English. Gotta learn Russian I get three times as many women a day who check out my profile That's an ego boost for me! Jimbo, it's all about positive affirmation to build your confidence. You may have greater success offline dating. It seems physical attraction is very important online; If your just "average" looking (not sure what that is really), women are likely to skip your profile, but if you meet a woman in person, as long as you think your good looking, you'll have confidence and that is a big thing that women pick up.
Scottdmw Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 So here is an opening e-mail I just sent this morning. It's an example of what I would consider a good opening e-mail, but I'm quite curious to see what the women think of it. Scott Hi (name), I'm also looking for someone I could spend five days in the woods with, just so long as it doesn't stretch to six days, that might be more than either of us can handle! I'm more into sailing than kayaking, but I do like both and I went kayaking on the Detroit River couple of months ago, where we got to see a very cute river otter. In all seriousness I would love to meet someone who shares my excitement about seeing the world. Have you seriously been to all US states except Alaska? That's pretty impressive. I've been to most except for Alaska, Hawaii, and the New England states north of New York. So what did you do or visit in Montana?
hopesndreams Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) Why Montana? I've been on Plenty of Failure for 4 weeks and have had a date every weekend. I agree with you, if you are on the site, get off your butt and go meet up with someone. What can it hurt? Short and sweet is the thing. If your profile is overloaded with information, take into account most can't be bothered reading it all unless it is filled with humour. A pic isn't necessary for me. I like getting to know the person through messaging. It doesn't even matter to me if the spelling stinks, if they have something of interest to say then I am intrigued. Be available! When they message back, be quick to respond. Very important. Shows you are not busy doing other things or chatting with others. Edited October 7, 2009 by hopesndreams
Scottdmw Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I picked Montana because it's a state I like and it makes the question specific, rather than "What's your favorite state?" or something. Scott
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