boogieboy Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 I agree. Nothing wrong with having a little fun. Yeah attention whores are never going to stop needing validation from multiple guys, and taking advantage of men that dont see the manipulation happening. So what you need to do like I said before is to recognize when they arent interested in who you are in the first meeting. Cut the game so that their game doesnt work with you. That is what they are used to by the guys they actually want. The desperate ones are the ones left who make themselves available to get played with.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 You know, even if you don't like the behavior of these girls, there is no need to call them degrading names like "attention whores". I love how causually name calling about women gets thrown around here from some of the guys. Good job, that makes you more of a man don't you know? *roll eyes.
You'reasian Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Yeah attention whores are never going to stop needing validation from multiple guys, and taking advantage of men that dont see the manipulation happening. So what you need to do like I said before is to recognize when they arent interested in who you are in the first meeting. Cut the game so that their game doesnt work with you. That is what they are used to by the guys they actually want. The desperate ones are the ones left who make themselves available to get played with. I don't go into a date with any pre-conceived notions. There are some really, really cool women out there - there are some women who just want to have fun - there are some that need attention - some that are looking for a companion. Its good practice to play it by ear if the dating environment is asymmetric - I'm not a gamer - but if the girl your sitting across likes to have unattached fun, be safe and enjoy the ride. No point in getting your head wrapped around the axle. If she's more settled, has her stuff together and communicates that she wants to be a good partner, then pay close attention.
You'reasian Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 You know, even if you don't like the behavior of these girls, there is no need to call them degrading names like "attention whores". I love how causually name calling about women gets thrown around here from some of the guys. Good job, that makes you more of a man don't you know? *roll eyes. Hey, we're equal opportunists around here. There's nothing wrong with being called an attention whore, whether male or female - its just a name. Atleast you can't be called a manwhore - I don't find that offensive, more funny and endearing actually.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 Girls have a little fun with a guy and feelings get hurt. Please check your manhood at the door sir. This is where I tend to believe is the downside of an online forum. You'll have posters, such as yourself, taking what I originally said, way out of context. In no way are my feelings hurt. Why would they be? I'm not taking them not being romantically interested in me personal. In no way do I see a girl having fun a problem. What I do have a problem with is my time being wasted.
callingyouuu Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 My problem with attention whores (both girls and guys) is that they don't really care to understand how they create victims through their reckless flirting. Insensitivity to others, regardless of how "fun" it is, is indefensible in my eyes. I'm learning how to filter those leeches out of my life. They're really just not worth the time.
phineas Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 I'm learning how to filter those leeches out of my life. They're really just not worth the time. I agree. At 37 & heading back into the wild I ran into possibly one such female. She's 35. showed interest, pursued me, called me to hang out. I told her I wanted to see her again & she told me despite half a yr of seperation i'm still technically married. She knew all that before she came over & hung out at my house. She said she'd be in touch but all I get is random text messages once in a while. I really don't waste any energy on her. She has my number. If she friendzoned me I don't know because i'm not going to be her shopping buddy. LOL! I've got other women that actually make an effort to contact me. Those are the people I spend time & energy on. When I was younger I allowed myself to be friendzoned by really hot women simply because their GF's were also hot & it gave me an in. The only problem is some women that friendzone you get possesive. They don't want you, but they also don't want anyone else to have you. you cut them out ASAP because they will actively block you.
lino Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 I really dislike attention whores! I've known a lot of them over the years too. Best used as a piece of ass and nothing more mate It makes me wish I had an arranged marriage . Funny you should say that. I'm starting to think the same way as time goes on I swear the guys who fear the friendzone, don't think about women as useful for anything else beyond getting laid. This isn't true. I have very close female friends that I care about a lot and spend time with, doing all sorts of things. I've never slept with them and I have no intention to. I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual too. I hate being told we can be friends by a female I'm interested romantically in, especially when she's being false about it and just using it as a way to sugar coat her dumping me! The OP will answer for himself but my definition of a female attention whore is a woman who uses male sexual and romantic attention to validate herself and her ego without returning anything significant (interest, friendship, time, etc) of value or consideration. I call it the 'black hole effect'. She sucks life and love out of people and gives nothing in return, believing that her presence is an adequate gift to the lowly males she sucks the essence from. Emotional vampirism Pretty much accurate I'd say.
lino Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 The only problem is some women that friendzone you get possesive. They don't want you, but they also don't want anyone else to have you. Yes!! Those are the worst!
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 5, 2009 Author Posted October 5, 2009 (edited) Lol there's this one girl in my Bio Lab. She is an active blocker to the max. She's overweight, she has facial hair, her breath stinks, she's dumb as rocks, and annoying as ****. First day of class she came and sat right next to me (mind you there's plenty of seats open). Now, there's 2 very attractive girls in that class I have yet to meet. But everytime I do go to or try to, ol big ass bertha is actively blocking. Calling the professor on me, coming over and butting in on the conversation. She's not my lab partner anymore thank god but she's now partners with the Colombiana with the pretty pretty green eyes that I want to pursue. So I'm sure her linebacker defense is going to be 100% now. Damn, if its not friendzoning its cockblocking. Funny thing is, Big Bertha tried to move in on me, and when I put my foot down she got real sour. (Why she moved groups). I didn't lead her on, I didn't hand out my number to her. She just took it upon herself to try and turn our lab partnership into something more. So now she's acting like a child and twat blocking me. Edited October 5, 2009 by mr.dream merchant
Jersey Shortie Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 You're acting like a child. You sound like your 12. Hey, we're equal opportunists around here. There's nothing wrong with being called an attention whore, whether male or female - its just a name. Atleast you can't be called a manwhore - I don't find that offensive, more funny and endearing actually. No you aren't. Women get called names around here, men do not. Calling a man a manwhore is comical. Call him a pig and alot more men would be offended.
EcstasyX6 Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 OK MDM, I know you asked for the male perspective, but as a female I have a few questions for you: If these pretty girls are friendzoning you, I have to wonder how attractive are you? Are you tall? Muscular? Also from your cockiness, I also wonder what kind of personality are you projecting? Pretty girls like fine men, and/or men with money. When I was in my 20's, I was considered attractive, but like some men, I preferred 'dating up' because that was my preference at the time. (At that age, often there's lack of character depth by the tons.) Shallow, I know, but that's what I did, although I didn't lack for male attention. My figure and personality always got me what I wanted, and when I was in college friendzoning dudes, I didn't care at the time whose feelings I hurt because it was all about ME having fun. In this country, that's what girls that age do. Yes, they waste guy's time, raise their hopes and drop them. Period. Regarding a bf, I didn't bother chasing the super athletes, or cocky arrogant guys who were full of themselves hanging out at the student center or the center of attention at parties. That was a waste of time. Fine intelligent men noticed me because I was a serious student, not getting drunk, etc. What I'm saying is that maybe you're chasing the female equivalent of that. There are plenty of pretty girls who are nice as well and looking for a relationship. BTW-That undesirable girl in your lab couldn't stop the green eyed one from checking you out if she was truly interested. She'd find a way to get around the linebacker if she was really into you.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 6, 2009 Author Posted October 6, 2009 OK MDM, I know you asked for the male perspective, but as a female I have a few questions for you: If these pretty girls are friendzoning you, I have to wonder how attractive are you? Are you tall? Muscular? Also from your cockiness, I also wonder what kind of personality are you projecting? Pretty girls like fine men, and/or men with money. When I was in my 20's, I was considered attractive, but like some men, I preferred 'dating up' because that was my preference at the time. (At that age, often there's lack of character depth by the tons.) Shallow, I know, but that's what I did, although I didn't lack for male attention. My figure and personality always got me what I wanted, and when I was in college friendzoning dudes, I didn't care at the time whose feelings I hurt because it was all about ME having fun. In this country, that's what girls that age do. Yes, they waste guy's time, raise their hopes and drop them. Period. Regarding a bf, I didn't bother chasing the super athletes, or cocky arrogant guys who were full of themselves hanging out at the student center or the center of attention at parties. That was a waste of time. Fine intelligent men noticed me because I was a serious student, not getting drunk, etc. What I'm saying is that maybe you're chasing the female equivalent of that. There are plenty of pretty girls who are nice as well and looking for a relationship. BTW-That undesirable girl in your lab couldn't stop the green eyed one from checking you out if she was truly interested. She'd find a way to get around the linebacker if she was really into you. Well its tough to rate myself but I'd say I'm pretty attractive. I've got alot of female friends/acquaintances who can vouch for that as well as alot of compliments. My ex actually told me one day she hated that I'm attractive to a wide range of girls, not just one race like her exes were. I'm 6'0" ft tall, 183 lbs. I work out and run at least 4 times a week. Pretty cut and fairly buff as well. Yeah I'm cocky but I don't really show it I just keep friendly casual conversation, joke around alot, making people laugh is something I like to do. As for the Colombiana, I haven't really pursued her yet. I'm going to change it up like Boogieboy suggested. So on Thursday I'll try to work some magic. She's very shy. You know that's another thing. Most girls are pretty shy around me, and if they're not shy, they're pre-judgemental and write me off as a player/playboy. I'm meeting young beautiful girls left and right but the ones I'm just now meeting I'm going to play it cool. See what they're about. Instead of running down to the river to grab me a heffer I'm going to walk and meet em all on the way.
BlueHarvest Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 You know that's another thing. Most girls are pretty shy around me, and if they're not shy, they're pre-judgemental and write me off as a player/playboy. People don't write someone off as a player unless they act like a player, sounds like you might be portraying something, maybe unconciously, that you don't think you are. I'm meeting young beautiful girls left and right but the ones I'm just now meeting I'm going to play it cool. See what they're about. Instead of running down to the river to grab me a heffer I'm going to walk and meet em all on the way. And this statement kind of contradicts your previous statement of people "pre-judgementally" labeling you as a player, as this sounds very much like a player, especially the term "heffer"... Just my 2 cents. Alot of hypocritical statements in that single post alone lol.
milkmaterial Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 how were u sure that the 29 yr old chick had children? u check out her uterus? u seem to be unworthy of a relationship. grow some more bodily hairs.
TheBigQuestion Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Shallow, I know, but that's what I did, although I didn't lack for male attention. My figure and personality always got me what I wanted, and when I was in college friendzoning dudes, I didn't care at the time whose feelings I hurt because it was all about ME having fun. In this country, that's what girls that age do. Yes, they waste guy's time, raise their hopes and drop them. Period. That's wonderful. I bet your parents were beaming with pride.
TheBigQuestion Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 As far as avoiding getting friendzoned in the way the OP describes, just avoid meeting women in bars, clubs, and college parties. Someone else mentioned this, but being extremely direct from the getgo with what your intentions are can frequently backfire. Just talk to the women, have a good time, get their numbers, and make it a more gradual process. I read somewhere that asking a woman upfront if she is single can also backfire, even if she is in fact single. A lot of women place a lot of their perceived self-value on whether or not they are physically/personally attractive, as well as how far along they are in the process that leads to having a family. Someone who is single may not be happy about it because being single could mean lacking in these respects, and being reminded of it may trigger a defense mechanism. Anyone want to confirm or deny that?
WineCountry Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 The OP will answer for himself but my definition of a female attention whore is a woman who uses male sexual and romantic attention to validate herself and her ego without returning anything significant (interest, friendship, time, etc) of value or consideration. I call it the 'black hole effect'. She sucks life and love out of people and gives nothing in return, believing that her presence is an adequate gift to the lowly males she sucks the essence from. Emotional vampirism Kind if like the OP is doing by only wanting to date "hot" women. Heck, I bet he doesn't even give "cute" women the time of day, yet he whines about the hot chicks friendzoning him. Isn't that what he does to the women who aren't HOT enough for him?? If he is consistently failing with these hot women, perhaps it is because they do not find him hot. Because unless he has personally verified that every single hot woman who blew him off because of having a BF was telling the truth, he has no way of knowing WHY they friendzoned him. Hell, I myself have told men on more than one occassion that I had a BF when I didn't, because it was just easier to get rid of them. Sorry..but, there it is. So, the OP may not even know the truth about why he is friendzoned. And yeah, perhaps them giving out their number was just a power trip thing, to see if he would pursue them, even though they knew they didnt want him I do find it funny that he only goes after the HOT chicks, and then questions why they have attitudes like they do. That's like me coming on here saying that I only go after guys that are 10's and GQ model gorgeous, and then coming on here crying that they all have inflated egos and are players. Well..duh. You tend to see that a bit more among the asthetically gifted. It is what it is. Perhaps he should try going after the girl who is a 7 instead of a 10. Or if 7's are beneath him, he could get a puppy. They like you no matter what, and you can snuggle them in the winter. Or, maybe the OP just needs to sit down and figure out why he thinks he has what it takes to pull a hot girl. I mean, since it's not working and all.....
carhill Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 If he's using (and promoting) the attention from women he's not pursuing to validate his own ego, then yes, absolutely, he's an attention whore just like the ones he complains about. If he only chooses to pursue 'hot women, no harm, no foul, since other women are not harmed by his lack of pursuit, no differently from a woman rejecting his pursuit and having nothing further to do with him. Simple
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 People don't write someone off as a player unless they act like a player, sounds like you might be portraying something, maybe unconciously, that you don't think you are. And this statement kind of contradicts your previous statement of people "pre-judgementally" labeling you as a player, as this sounds very much like a player, especially the term "heffer"... Just my 2 cents. Alot of hypocritical statements in that single post alone lol. Lol I was trying to play on that saying with the two bulls. The young one says something like "Let's run down to the river and grab us both a heffer". The older, wiser bull says something like "Let's walk and have them all on the way instead". Anyways, what I was trying to say was that I'll just need to be more patient with things it seems.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 If he's using (and promoting) the attention from women he's not pursuing to validate his own ego, then yes, absolutely, he's an attention whore just like the ones he complains about. If he only chooses to pursue 'hot women, no harm, no foul, since other women are not harmed by his lack of pursuit, no differently from a woman rejecting his pursuit and having nothing further to do with him. Simple Not at all. I see something I like - I go for it. Its as simple as that. Girls I'm not attracted to, I do not pursue them in any kind of fashion. I'll talk to them, interact with them, but I don't fish for any kind of external validation from them, nor do I have a need for it.
carhill Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Let's say, though, that you were stringing one or more along, especially if you knew they liked you, confident that you had no attraction and they were merely time-fillers and ego feeds. Then, you would be exactly the person you detest in your OP. I'm not seeing that which is why I presented the scenario as I did. Personally, I enjoy women. I've had many women, both married and single, as friends during my life. The key difference between that dynamic and the attention-whore dynamic is that they matter to me. I'm proactive in my interest and appreciative of their friendship and love. It's give and take as a healthy friendship should be. I've also been sucked in by the attention whores. Usually, it's lack of interest and love which defines them; they feed off the interest and love of others and do the bare minimum to maintain that pipeline of validation. As I often say, time reveals all truths
Jersey Shortie Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 If he's using (and promoting) the attention from women he's not pursuing to validate his own ego, then yes, absolutely, he's an attention whore just like the ones he complains about. If he only chooses to pursue 'hot women, no harm, no foul, since other women are not harmed by his lack of pursuit, no differently from a woman rejecting his pursuit and having nothing further to do with him. Simple Hello! I said this a few posts back.
stillafool Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 A lot of women place a lot of their perceived self-value on whether or not they are physically/personally attractive, as well as how far along they are in the process that leads to having a family. Someone who is single may not be happy about it because being single could mean lacking in these respects, and being reminded of it may trigger a defense mechanism. Anyone want to confirm or deny that? As a woman I would have to say, you're kidding, right?
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 Let's say, though, that you were stringing one or more along, especially if you knew they liked you, confident that you had no attraction and they were merely time-fillers and ego feeds. Then, you would be exactly the person you detest in your OP. I'm not seeing that which is why I presented the scenario as I did. Personally, I enjoy women. I've had many women, both married and single, as friends during my life. The key difference between that dynamic and the attention-whore dynamic is that they matter to me. I'm proactive in my interest and appreciative of their friendship and love. It's give and take as a healthy friendship should be. I've also been sucked in by the attention whores. Usually, it's lack of interest and love which defines them; they feed off the interest and love of others and do the bare minimum to maintain that pipeline of validation. As I often say, time reveals all truths Yeah, I have female friends. I enjoy their company, as a friend. I don't keep females around to boost my head up with compliments. That's attention whoring. Something I detest. Me wanting an attractive GF isn't me screaming at the top of my lungs on the peak of Mt. Everest "Hey everybody, look at my trophy GF - give me your attention and external validation!" Not at all...me wanting an attractive GF is...me....wanting an attractive GF. Obviously I'm not going to go for someone who isn't attractive to me. Is that the reason I'm getting friendzoned? Because these females don't find me attractive? Maybe - but that's not the point. The original issue was/is females wasting a guy's time for the mere purpose of gaining external validation and seeking attention.
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