mr.dream merchant Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 All these beautiful girls I approach give me their number and end up friendzoning me. Its like, wow? Why would I approach you and ask you for your number to be your friend? Some of them flirt with me, set up dates for TWO, and the works and then tell me later on they have a boyfriend. Mind you I'm 20, and these girls are in my age range. I dunno...I'm real close to just giving up on relationships at my age. I know it sounds ****ed up but pretty girls my age seem real shallow, grimey, and just...heartless. They immerse themselves in male attention and just eat it up. This one girl I know, she has mad homeboys, we were this || close to dating. And I was on her facebook to find her and 3 other guys joking about them running a train on her (far after I wrote her off for other reasons). I mean...what the ****? If I were her man and I saw that would I be in the wrong for getting upset about that? Its just real upsetting as a young male, to see females my age abusing and exploiting their looks for attention, regardless of their relationship status. Its like, how, as a confident male, am I supposed to be okay with that behavior if it were my GF being surrounded by lots of male attention, and her playing into their dirty jokes, or giving out her phone number to attractive guys, and then claiming their a friend and there's nothing to worry about? I don't understand it. You've got females running around preaching about a guy who will trust them, and then they do out of line **** that they KNOW will upset their man. But somehow he's supposed to deal or he's then a jealous/insecure/psycho/whatever else excuse you need to duck the fact that you're obviously seeking attention from other people besides your significant other. I wouldn't even be so pissed about this if it wasn't EVERY SINGLE female who's number I get. Like this for example - The most recent number I got. Real pretty girl from Dominican Republic. Just banging, lovely as hell. I get her number, we flirt back and forth for a couple days. She then tells me she has a boyfriend. I tell her I don't want to come in between them and their relationship. She then trys to play it off like "oh you wanted my number because you were interested in me?" .....................What? Are you serious? Then she hits me with "Can't we still be friends" HUH? At this time and age, even as a young and attractive guy, the dating game is F&*KED up and horribly unfair for guys. We get friendzoned, and even if we do land a hot GF, we gotta sit around and get **** on by her bathing in male attention and totally encouraging it, or throwing out subliminals that scream "Available" to other men. I mean, damn, there's a point where its just disrespectful to your BF/GF. Fareal, don't give me your phone number when you know what's up. The **** I need more friends for? Maybe relationships are stupid at this age. Because I'm not seeing a whole lot of morals or maturity from either side of the gender table in my age group. Maybe I just need to pick up bar/club chicks every weekend and be content with that. And to top it off, I got a terrible thing of a human, this overweight, smelly, rude, facial hair ridden, chick, who is thoroughly cockblocking me from this lovely spanish girl in my lab. Wow. I am 100% turned off from females at this point. No I'm not gay, but chicks are ridiculous. You know its not even girls my age. I was talking to this 29 year old a couple weeks ago. She got real upset when I asked if she had children. I didn't even ask in a rude way. She flipped out and dipped. Its like "Wow?" I'm pretty sure she did have children. **** all that. Show me your thoughts. Guys especially. Lemme know what you think. -Edit The issue here isn't multidating or being single and enjoying attention. Its having a SO in your life and doing the above. And its also being single, thoroughly enjoying attention and misleading said attention provider only to friendzone them when their attention isn't needed for some reason. Dodging the feminist bullet on this one.
aerogurl87 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 This is why I date guys older than me. OP you say you go after hot chicks and they "friendzone" you. Well here's an idea, why don't you go for the laid back, not so hot, but still cute girl and try to have a relationship with her. Or if you have to date some hot girl, why not go for one that you knows isn't into partying like crazy and hanging all over guys? I'm about to be 20 soon and I don't go clubbing or party all night long. I work and stick to myself, or go hang out with my friends away from the craziness of the typical college males who have only sex on the brain and the typical college girls who are certified b**ches and attention whores as you put it. If you want to go out and find a decent girlfriend in your age range you gotta change up your technique. Go to where the nice, non party girls hang out or you will just end up with the crazy bimbos who will use you for the moment and then leave you as soon as the next hot guy comes around.
carhill Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Change your perspective. You can be thankful to those girls who are friend-zoning you that you know right away they are not worth one iota of your romantic energy. The attention whores and other whacked subspecies of female are doing you a favor by showing you that side of them straight away so you can escape the impending vacuum of their hooverish black hole. IOW, be thankful you've avoided these paragons of incompatibility. Collect more numbers, make more calls and be clear about what *you* want, for you. If other, dismiss, without prejudice. Next Oh, and write less. Women hate blabbering men, you know, like me
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 This is why I date guys older than me. OP you say you go after hot chicks and they "friendzone" you. Well here's an idea, why don't you go for the laid back, not so hot, but still cute girl and try to have a relationship with her. Or if you have to date some hot girl, why not go for one that you knows isn't into partying like crazy and hanging all over guys? I'm about to be 20 soon and I don't go clubbing or party all night long. I work and stick to myself, or go hang out with my friends away from the craziness of the typical college males who have only sex on the brain and the typical college girls who are certified b**ches and attention whores as you put it. If you want to go out and find a decent girlfriend in your age range you gotta change up your technique. Go to where the nice, non party girls hang out or you will just end up with the crazy bimbos who will use you for the moment and then leave you as soon as the next hot guy comes around. All the girls in the above post I met at college. The 29 year old at the gym. The spanish girl seems very laid back but Big Bertha is playing D like an NFL Linebacker (no pun intended).
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 Change your perspective. You can be thankful to those girls who are friend-zoning you that you know right away they are not worth one iota of your romantic energy. The attention whores and other whacked subspecies of female are doing you a favor by showing you that side of them straight away so you can escape the impending vacuum of their hooverish black hole. IOW, be thankful you've avoided these paragons of incompatibility. Collect more numbers, make more calls and be clear about what *you* want, for you. If other, dismiss, without prejudice. Next Oh, and write less. Women hate blabbering men, you know, like me Yes sensei! I've been! But its a very grueling process and an intense numbers game. You'd think looks would lessen the headache, I guess not?
aerogurl87 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 All the girls in the above post I met at college. The 29 year old at the gym. The spanish girl seems very laid back but Big Bertha is playing D like an NFL Linebacker (no pun intended). Ugh college. See I learned after my first semester to avoid most guys I met at college for romantic intentions. Especially avoid any girls who may be hanging around frat parties and/or clubs. I was kind of like that at first when I first got to college I must admit. I broke so many guys hearts and egos it isn't funny, but I digress. If you do want a relationship with a college girl I'd try finding one in class, your dorm/apartment complex, or the library. That's probably your best bet.
Brady_to_Moss Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I dunno...I'm real close to just giving up on relationships at my age. I know it sounds ****ed up but pretty girls my age seem real shallow, grimey, and just...heartless. They immerse themselves in male attention and just eat it up. Yes they do. I am 20 as well and girls at my school i just write off even though i shouldnt. I try and look for girls at other places like in class ect but no luck...oh well hopefully out of college something will happen!
aerogurl87 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 oh well hopefully out of college something will happen! Yes be smart. Look for a girl OUTSIDE of college. That's how I found my boyfriend.
boogieboy Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Hey Merchant, lemme ask you this, and be honest. When you approach these women, and you start talking to them: Do they show any curiosity into who you are? Do they ask you ALOT of personal questions? Thats how you can tell whos into you. Do ytou start asking them personal questions right away? Cant do that.... Or do you just say a couple words then ask them for their number right away? After approaching all these "attention whores" you should be able to tell by now which ones show attention whore behavior right off the bat. Did you know that many women dat guys according to who they see as a furtue husband? Guys that are equal or greater in status to them. So if youre livin at home, not making alot of money, and dont dress for success, and you dont come off as a guy who doesnt need these women, thats why youre failing here.
carhill Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 While a great guide (thanks!), I must say the older AW's and MF'ers (that's mind-f*ckers) are much smoother and more convincing. They start off real promising, with appropriate and seemingly heartfelt attention and compliments, and continue for some time as they ratchet up reciprocation. Then, almost imperceptively, they take it back a notch and watch for reaction. I know this because I've been screwed many times by these Hoovers of the social arena. The more experienced a woman is, the more formidable she is in the areas of manipulation, AW and MF. God help us all
Lucky_One Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 While a great guide (thanks!), I must say the older AW's and MF'ers (that's mind-f*ckers) are much smoother and more convincing. They start off real promising, with appropriate and seemingly heartfelt attention and compliments, and continue for some time as they ratchet up reciprocation. Then, almost imperceptively, they take it back a notch and watch for reaction. I know this because I've been screwed many times by these Hoovers of the social arena. The more experienced a woman is, the more formidable she is in the areas of manipulation, AW and MF. God help us all There are women like that. But, in all fairness, wouldn't you also say that there are an equal number of men like that?
carhill Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Absolutely, but without the advantage of the sexual draw. In fairness, though, the thread is about women
monkey00 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Hah, wow. Reading this reminds me why I'm glad I'm not 20 anymore. But anyway college is the best place to meet girls, you're lucky you still have that. But anyway, there are lot of women who are looking for attention no matter the age range (although it's more common for younger girls). I think you just have to stick with your guns and keep doing what you're doing. Dating is a numbers game. And if this gets to you then maybe you should stop doing this now and look for other ways to meet women.
New_Life08 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Mr. Dream, it doesn't only happen to you young ones. LOL. My bf has had a few women do this sort of thing to him...of course that is before he met ME! His words: "I never made their list". He was their string along to hang out with when they were between relationships or didn't have anything better to do. One in particular would be affectionate with him, then push him away saying she just wants to be friends. At one time she told him she loved him, then took it back saying she was feeling vulnerable. To this day she still calls him to hang out with her knowing he has a gf. She invites only him...not me. So yeah...attention whore is a great analogy. He's remained friends with her bc he can find good in anyone. But, like you say, it is amazing how people these days can be so shallow and unfeeling. I don't think they realize how deeply it hurts others with the wishy-washy BS! Hang in there....you seem to have good values for someone so young. You will find the right one, just have patience.
cognac Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Hey Mr Dream, glad to see there are so many people out there who are in my shoes. It shows you that it's not just me and that it's not my fault. Personally I find this is the situation with all girls who are worth even half a damn, not just the amazing looking ones. It makes me wish I had an arranged marriage .
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 Hey Merchant, lemme ask you this, and be honest. When you approach these women, and you start talking to them: Do they show any curiosity into who you are? Do they ask you ALOT of personal questions? Thats how you can tell whos into you. Do ytou start asking them personal questions right away? Cant do that.... Or do you just say a couple words then ask them for their number right away? After approaching all these "attention whores" you should be able to tell by now which ones show attention whore behavior right off the bat. Did you know that many women dat guys according to who they see as a furtue husband? Guys that are equal or greater in status to them. So if youre livin at home, not making alot of money, and dont dress for success, and you dont come off as a guy who doesnt need these women, thats why youre failing here. It depends I can't just give you a flat yes or no. Sometimes conversation just flows, sometimes I see a lovely girl and I approach her, ask her name, give her mine, shake her hand, ask her if she's single. If its a yes I ask for their number, if its a no I go on about my business. I haven't gotten a no yet - meaning, I get the number then find out they have a man. Usually when I just approach the girl, the personals come through text. She'll inquire personal **** about me and vise versa.
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 mdm, did it ever occur to you that while these girls weren't romantically interested in you, that they might actually want to be your friend? I swear the guys who fear the friendzone, don't think about women as useful for anything else beyond getting laid.
JohnP82 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Maybe he's not looking for friends when he's hitting on girls.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 Yeah but they should already know why I'm approaching I mean it's pretty clear. If I wanted to be friends I wouldn't ask for their number really it's be a see you when I see you kind of deal and me asking if they're single is a dead giveaway. It's why I do it, I figure if I'm obligated to play mind games with a chick just for her interest then she probably isn't worth it. It's childish, we're in college. Asking if they're single gets the point across.
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Something doesn't jive. Why do ALL these women friendzone him? It makes me wonder about his approach. Is he playing it so cool, that they're not picking up the interest vibe, just the friendly vibe?
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 Who knows. Some wanted me to be the guy that was there when them and whoever their with weren't working out but I don't get down like that. My main gripe is this: don't give your number when it's clear I'm interested in being more than friends and said chick doesn't plan on making herself somewhat available but instead would rather eat up my attention only to friendZone me when her void has been filled. Honestly I wouldn't want to be friends with someone I had a strong initial desire for. And if said girl knows this and baits my attention ie. Handing out her number to me only to write me off as a friend, that's kinds disrespectful and lacking of common courtesy to me.
carhill Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I swear the guys who fear the friendzone, don't think about women as useful for anything else beyond getting laid. Kinda hard to have a 'romantic' relationship without sex and the attendant sexual/romantic tension, dontcha think? Fear is a powerful motivator, and, in this instance, I feel it is perfectly warranted. I was never 'afraid' and spent a lot of time in it in my younger life. Even now, breaking those habits is hard and women my age are just as brutal (IMO possibly even more so) with the FZ as they were at a younger age. If the OP wanted female friends, he'd be doing activities with them and talking stats and having a beer. He's looking for a girlfriend. I firmly believe romantic relationships rarely grow out of platonic friendships, which I define as mutual non-attraction. Platonic friendships are great. Love them. I'm sure the OP does too. Romance is nice too, and different Sex, sexual attraction, sexual flirtation and related sexual behaviors are the essence of what delineates romantic from platonic. It's undeniable. Acceptance. If the lady is not interested, say so and we'll move on. OP, try this perspective. Expect women to bait your attention, manipulate you and f*ck your mind. Accept that, with peace. Then proceed with what you want, recognize the signs of unhealthiness and let those people go. They are meant for someone else. Good on them
Recommended Posts