singleithink Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Hi it's my first time to post on this but here goes..... I've been married for just over 2 1/2 years but with my husband 13 years since i was 17. We have 2 children and i love him so much but 7 weeks ago i seen a text on his phone from another woman looking to meet up for sex he was talking to her on a web site and they got texting, he never went trough with it in the end i'm 100% sure of that. When i throw the phone at him he was shocked apolagised and said his head is all over the place and he doesn't know why he done it and he'll never do it again.... So after a lot of talking i decided to give him a second chance. Things seemed to be going real well (i thought) but 2 weeks ago he came home from work and looked worn out so i asked what was up and he said he doesnt think he can do it anymore and was moving back to his mam's went upstairs and packed his bag......he came home 3 days later for "thetalk" and said he has fallin out of love with me, So heart broken and sick to the stomick i said ok and let him go without trying to change his mind shock i think but i did tell him i still love him and he is breaking my heart. We told the kids and they have taken it really well but i still miss him and want him back, he has been really good when it comes to handing over money and paying bills as i gave up my career 4 years ago so i could look after the kids and make life a bit easier for him,we still get on and talk on the phone everyday he takes the kids every weekend Not sure if he is having a mid life crisis cos i know hhe is on web sites looking for no string attached sex. He has his own company and the last year things have been going really badly for us and he cant take a wage out of it at the moment and the stress has been real bad he seems like a broken man for some time Am i mad to think this is all stress related and he may change his mind a few months down the line if i don't pressure him or should i just try to move on please help
hopeful1980 Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I haven't been through anything similar. I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry that this is happening to you. If I were you, I'd let him go. I would be strong for my children and give them the example of a woman who is happy in the worst of times. They deserve a happy mom. This is his choice, not yours.
Author singleithink Posted October 1, 2009 Author Posted October 1, 2009 Thanks for reply,fortunitly i can keep it together for my girls they havn't been upset by it at all its just all so sudden and i do still love him we never argued when we we're together about anything thats why i think its so hard even close friends and family can't understand it (they don't know about internet chat or text msg)they all are trying very hard to understand whats going on in his head and are as confused as me...
MrMayI Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Thanks for reply,fortunitly i can keep it together for my girls they havn't been upset by it at all its just all so sudden and i do still love him we never argued when we we're together about anything thats why i think its so hard even close friends and family can't understand it (they don't know about internet chat or text msg)they all are trying very hard to understand whats going on in his head and are as confused as me... well then tell them! otherwise, it's going to be all about it's YOUR fault and he did NOTHING. let him go. file divorce.
hopesndreams Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 He's not suffering any consequences. He has you just where he wants you. He will feel no pain himself if you keep giving into him emotionally. Right now, he has the best of both worlds. He is out on his own, getting up to all sorts no doubt, but when lonely he will give you a ring and you will shoot the breeze with him. Show him what he'll be missing. Cut off all contact unless it's to do with the kids. If he doesn't make amends and come crawling back begging for forgiveness, for your own sanity, end it with him. The life you are living now will go on indefinitely unless you DO something about it.
Author singleithink Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 Hi destination unknown, sorry haven't really been on here in a while but i'm doing ok i think still heart broken and will be for a long time getting out with friends when he has the girls at weekends so that take's my mind off things for a bit (although i think that kinda pissed him off seeing me all dressed up and out with single friends)hehe extra bonus thanks for your concern take care
Author singleithink Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Its been 4 weeks now since hubby walked out and i am sick at what i've found out about him. After the text msg i found on his phone before he walked i got courious about what else he has been up to so went searching the internet to see if i could find anything else and guess what i did i came accross 2 different dating sites with his profile and on it he says he is single 32 and looking for nsa s*x. What a complete d**k head. but what gets to me even more is that he also post's about our 2 children and how they mean the world to him....... If thats realy the case why just walk without even trying MC aaaagggghhhh i'm so p****d off right now
Author singleithink Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Thanks a million for the reply's i've had so far, i know i should let go and i am taking your advoice on board but telling his family about what he is up to would be very hard for me cos i don't want to hurt them any more than they already are over this whole situation. but maybe i need to print off his profile or something for if it comes to D. thanks again all
FredMerc Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I am sorry you are going through this. I would advise you not to go to his family with the information, but if they lobby you on his behalf you can say something along the lines of: “The problem with his marital conduct is much deeper than what you are aware of….” Leave it at that unless they press on with the matter. It allows you to keep the high ground. What he did was very, very wrong, and it hurt you very much. No one can tell you how to feel, or whether you should ever take him back. I personally would not, but that is me. You can however find forgiveness in your heart someday, and that will actually free you in some ways. He did do a few things right. He didn’t lie when you caught him, or try to make it like you were crazy, or play the "how dare you not trust me!" routine, and he left when he knew for sure he was not in love instead of wearing a cruel mask and taking away more years from your life.…
Author singleithink Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Thank you F it's getting a bit messy now,friends who spoke to him said he only said he didn't love me cos i made him say it by looking for an answer to why he was leaving also looked really annoyed after my said night out and commented i looked great to a friend and when asked by friend how he'd feel if i did meet a new man and move on he said he cant think about it doesn't want to. I'm so confused.
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