Ilovehim Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I have been seeing this guy for 3 months now, known him for 4...I feel like in ready to be with him but he feels as though we still need to get to know each other more...he has told me and shows me that he likes me and says that he wants us to turn into a relationship eventually but he doesn't want us to rush.... Also he isn't getting sex with me or anything so I know he's not using me... We are not friends with benefits... I feel like I want the affection and the care and he is not very emotional.. I like emotional sweet guys... And although he's sweet and nice... I would like him to show me he cares more... I like guys who show me they need me and care about me... Someone who will be there when I'm hurting not just for the good times... I know it's only been 4 months I have known him but I feel ready to have love and to be with him... What should I do?
loveslife Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Is this the same guy that you liked at the end of June who goes to a different school and you were thinking of calling or texting him? Have you been on any dates? Has he expressed any romantic interest?
aerogurl87 Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I have been seeing this guy for 3 months now, known him for 4...I feel like in ready to be with him but he feels as though we still need to get to know each other more...he has told me and shows me that he likes me and says that he wants us to turn into a relationship eventually but he doesn't want us to rush.... Also he isn't getting sex with me or anything so I know he's not using me... We are not friends with benefits... I feel like I want the affection and the care and he is not very emotional.. I like emotional sweet guys... And although he's sweet and nice... I would like him to show me he cares more... I like guys who show me they need me and care about me... Someone who will be there when I'm hurting not just for the good times... I know it's only been 4 months I have known him but I feel ready to have love and to be with him... What should I do? If he don't know he wants a relationship by now, he will probably never want one. Three months is long enough to know if you want to be someone's boyfriend. It's a commitment sure, but nowhere as big as a commitment as marriage.
boogieboy Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 If you like emotional and sweet guys, and he doesnt do that for you, he never will. That isnt who he is. You have to accept him for who he is.
QuietEddie Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 What should I do? The fact that he's with you "without sex", means that he is there for YOU. Give him time, meanwhile express that you want a deeper level of intimacy. The is a good example of why "nice guys finish last", even if they are the better man.
QuietEddie Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 If you like emotional and sweet guys, and he doesnt do that for you, he never will. That isnt who he is. You have to accept him for who he is. Not true. Maybe he's a virgin, has pre-lay anxiety, etc. I get the impression that they're young, and society places a lot of burdens on our youth regarding sex. It takes more time for some - and, nobody is great at sex the first time. So, if the OP's problem is in the sex department (or lack of), sometimes it takes time for a man to come around. It sounds like he does do it for her, except she wants more. Frankly, that sounds like every woman I've ever met. Even Eve wasn't satisfied with paradise. But yeah, if it's only the lack of sexual intimacy, I say give him time. When he satisfies her there, she'll be wanting something else from him most likely. I do agree with you however if this guy is 30 years old or something. That's a different story.
hannie_1988 Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I am in the same shoes as you are. I think it's the best to give it more time and be there for him whenever he needs, be a good friend. Don't overbearing otherwise he might push you away. It doesn't matter if he doesn't get emotional, at least he's still kind and respect for who you are. You can't expect every guys to be emotional and sweet, it doesn't work that way. Don't show him how you feel, leave it to yourself at least he's aware of your feelings and let him make a move towards you. If he doesn't get a chance to be with you, there's always plenty of guys out there. Being obsessed isn't going to solute anything. Be strong, be happy and enjoy life!
loveslife Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 They're not even dating. They're just platonic friends. She wants more and he says "maybe someday."
New Again Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 If you're already concerned and unhappy because you like a certain amount and type of attention and affection, and this guy can't fulfill those needs the way you want....WHY do you want him to be your bf? Putting that title on your relationship isn't going to change him into someone he's not. What should you do? Start seeing other people.
QuietEddie Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 They're not even dating. They're just platonic friends. She wants more and he says "maybe someday." Yeah, I reread...and agree with your assessment. As I guy however, I blew off girls that I liked when I was young. In retrospect, what an idiot I was!??
hannie_1988 Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Not true. Maybe he's a virgin, has pre-lay anxiety, etc. I get the impression that they're young, and society places a lot of burdens on our youth regarding sex. I don't agree, being virgin or not doesn't makes any difference. Some men who are very good at controlling their sexual desires and are respectful to women. Sex doesn't always based on every relationships, everyone has agreements on their decisions.
prettybaby Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 What's the rush? Enjoy those dates before you become a real couple. Me and my boyfriend dated for over 3 months until we had our first kiss, but we had known each other for a long time before that. You two have only met a few weeks before going out, so you still have a lot to learn about each other. I tell you what: those 3 months of dating we did without any physical contact are some of the fondest memories we have now. It was the very beginning, and the anticipation grew with every date. Those are times that you can never turn back to once you make that move. Of course, if you like each other, you should make a move sooner or later, because that's the point of dating lol But don't worry if it takes a little longer than you'd like it to right now. It's so much better than rushing. And as a couple, it really does make for great memories afterward. I think your guy sounds quite sensitive actually. He probably only needs time to ease into things. In the mean time, just be your happy self and flirt a lot until he can't take it anymore but don't get too frustrated with it just yet.
loveslife Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 prettybaby, they're not dating. He's a guy she has a crush on. He keeps putting her off.
prettybaby Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Oh! Oops I assumed she meant "dating" when she said she'd been "seeing" him for 3 months but has known him for 4 lol
Author Ilovehim Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 Hey everyone...yes it's the same guy.. Here is the deal, me and him have had this convo before and when I asked him if he wants to be just friends he says he likes me too much to be just my friend.. We haven't hung out too many times in the past 3 months so it's not like we have been seeing each other alot..I know he likes me so that's not the problem..but I want a relationship already and he says let's give it more time.. And yes I want the affection and im gonna go against what any dating books would tell guys..I actually like guys who call and text you everyday, who bring u flowers and all those things...I love a good emotional sensitive guy...and yeah he's more of a " whatever" type....also I want someone because I'm going through alot and he would keep me sane....
carhill Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I actually like guys who call and text you everyday, who bring u flowers and all those things...I love a good emotional sensitive guy...and yeah he's more of a " whatever" type....also I want someone because I'm going through alot and he would keep me sane.... Incompatible much?
Author Ilovehim Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 And yes we are dating but we are not bf and gf yet he says he wants to be with me but y rush? We have only hung out a few times and that he isn't goin anywhere so y am I getting like this....
aerogurl87 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Hey everyone...yes it's the same guy.. Here is the deal, me and him have had this convo before and when I asked him if he wants to be just friends he says he likes me too much to be just my friend.. We haven't hung out too many times in the past 3 months so it's not like we have been seeing each other alot..I know he likes me so that's not the problem..but I want a relationship already and he says let's give it more time.. And yes I want the affection and im gonna go against what any dating books would tell guys..I actually like guys who call and text you everyday, who bring u flowers and all those things...I love a good emotional sensitive guy...and yeah he's more of a " whatever" type....also I want someone because I'm going through alot and he would keep me sane.... Look he's trying to let you down gently, so I'm going to be blunt and tell you what he's trying to say: HE DOES NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. The fact that you two haven't hung out much in the last 3 months should be sign number 1. Sign 2 is the fact that it's been three months and he's yet to give you a clear answer. Sign 3 is the fact that he's putting no effort whatsoever in trying to woo you. Save yourself the headache and time and move on.
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