muse08 Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 ...when he suggested it... . i want to preface this thread by saying i'm in the midst of a 4month breakup.we've recently had contact though and have considered trying to make it work. my previous threads explain my situation in more detail. my ex has been pursuing me since we broke up.calling,texting,trying to see me,buying gifts etc.i broke up with him due to his borderline obssessive behavior, baby mama drama and his workschedule.~he was never pleased with the breakup.has been calling compulsively and trying to see me.i've seen him a few times, but he became noticeably spiteful once i continued to push him away.so why even bother with me anymore...?~ now,he initiated the work schedule adjustment.though i agreed it needed to be in order to ever spend time together.he tried changing a day or something once or twice but hasn't followed through since the breakup.he says he was gonna take less hours or quit one job(has 2 jobs) so that we can spend weekends together and said "how can we really have a relationship when he's always at work". he wasnt able to do it so he kept the 2 week days off that still didn't help with us b/c our schedules differ.my job is a standard 40hrs during the day.he has one full time and one parttime.his schedule just changed again so he has one day off only and is working overtime.so i never see him until after 9-10pm.one reason he's working so much is to pay child support to someone else,not me.he wants me to be available for him when gets off most days and he will try to do nice things and ask what i need,etc.however,for me it's not good enough when i'm already dealing with his other issues.i want to be fair w/out neglecting my own needs. ...so since he's been trying to get back with me i have said that it's not gonna work b/c of the existing issues and the schedule...for me it's not fair.he calls and says stuff like "i wish i could be there with you right now doing this,that or the other, but you know i gotta work." i'm always like yeah yeah..."do what you have to do but since you admit that it's not the best situation you can't expect to much from me because you're never around". this is where the trust issue becomes an issue for both of us and he, in turn calls excessively and gets frustrated when he thinks i'm not responding enough.i'm frustrated too, but want to let him know i'm not trying to stop him from working i just can't promise to be with him when i feel single even WITH a man...i'm ready to throw up my hands for the last time...for real...
Author muse08 Posted October 1, 2009 Author Posted October 1, 2009 still not sure how i even feel about being with him...
Loxx Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Yeah i totally know that feeling. When you are rarely seeing someone no matter how much you can care for them it really starts to get under your skin. I think you have done the right thing, if his schedule is keeping you from seeing one another then its his responsibility to fix it. Tell him to quit buying you gifts so he can quit his 2nd job!:love:
stace79 Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 My thoughts are that you saw enough conflict in your R to break it off. It is possible to break up with someone even though you love them, because you have to make a decision that is best for you and your life. Even if he is able to adjust his schedule, you still have two significant issues: borderline obsessiveness and "baby mama drama". I think you made the right decision by breaking it off with him. You should explain this to him one last time, and then ask him not to contact you anymroe so that you can both move on.
Author muse08 Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 loxx and stace what your're both saying is so right. i appreciate your responses. we'll see what happens. i think this is part of the big problem. he's not around much so he calls me all the time even when i'm working.questions me about what i'm doing,etc. but it goes both ways. but i've never felt the need to blow up his phone all day everyday...i guess 'cause he's always blowing me up...literally calling around the clock and asking why i havent picked up or called him as much as he calls me... the more i talk about it the sillier it sounds and i just want to throw up my hand to it all like asap...
Author muse08 Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 ...this weekend may be IT. he came over. looked at the time on my phone after we took a nap.then he looked through my incoming calls while he thought i was sleep.then asks me if i love him... i do but i dont think this is gonna last!
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