carhill Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Get back to us with the results. Always nice to have additional datapoints. To answer the OP, yes, intelligence and depth of thought are sexy to me. Usually, such a dynamic breeds introspection and contemplation, heightening emotional and situational awareness. And then we have 'fun'
Author always_searching Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 always searching, I have a personal story to tell, that's related to this, which happened to me. If you're interested, I will post it. If not, that's cool too. I would love to hear your story, TBF!
Author always_searching Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 Although, to be honest, I do not find that women with superior intellect will often let me know that they are that intelligent. I agree. I think one should be extremely weary of those people who claim to be intelligent... ...intelligent people just don't do that--BAD FORM!
Author always_searching Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 Most intelligent women are ugly Most dumb women are hot hot dumb women are easy to manipulate and crush emotionally, so it's easier, but I might try my hand and using an intelligent woman. Oh dear. I'm going to go with late-teens/early-twenties and not educated. Good luck with trying your hand and using an intelligent woman. I'd pay to see her response to your come-on... You're probably one of those guys who sits around reading "The Art of Seduction" and "The Game," thinking that you are a manipulative-genius who can get any woman whom you want into bed, thus making you just such an amazing male specimen. However, I'd be willing to bet that you're an insecure and average-looking young kid, at best, whose friends and family secretly laugh at and/or feel sorry for for being a womanizing, manipulative, CREEP. Am I right?
Isolde Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Hey TBF, what do you mean by "vibes and social cues, that a woman gives off?"
Author always_searching Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 TBF and others who have brought up the security issue: Just for reference, insecurity really isn't related to why I asked the question. Personally, if someone doesn't like me, for whatever reason: bully for them! I could care less what people think of me. I really only asked the question, because I want to know what men think of intelligent women generally. It's more of a social/psychological consideration than anything. Well, being totally secure with myself is not entirely true--I oftentimes worry that I am not fun/spontaneous enough. Regardless, I'm not insecure about my physicality or my mentality. I know I am not the most intelligent person, nor am I the most beautiful. However, I'm not entirely deprived of either.
carhill Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Since intelligence and emotional awareness/street smarts don't necessarily run parallel courses, it's quite possible to take advantage of an intelligent person who has focused solely on matters of intellect and not the intricacies of human relations. I got dealt this blow a lot when younger. IDK if it works that way for women but there were certainly many women more emotionally 'intelligent' than I at that age. Of course, I didn't have the same perspective about women that LookSeeRun appears to. Perhaps he will take that perspective and mellow it with experience into a healthy set of boundaries. One can hope
You'reasian Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Another one of my friends is beautiful, smart, and as kind as can be--she hasn't been on a date in years. She sounds attractive to me. I'm not trigger shy about asking out women either - maybe she's got problems meeting guys? maybe she puts out signals that says stay away? maybe she's picky? So, I really don't see how "attitude" has anything to do with it, as most women I know who are married or seeing someone are kind of bitchy--it actually makes me want to read that book "Why Men Love Bitches.". If we went out on a date and you acted bitchy to me, I'd drop you off at your place, go out and do my own thing. Rather than attitude, I find that, other than not being physically attractive enough: the sure way to turn off a man is to be more intellectual than he is. Depends on the guy. If you wanna go out on a date with me, grab coffee and workout physics problems on a chalkboard or debate geopolitics - I'm down. Its sure as hell not going to be a romantic date, but it could be intellectually stimulating - but I'm not sure how much 'chemistry' that would build.
Author always_searching Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 If you wanna go out on a date with me' date=' grab coffee and workout physics problems on a chalkboard or debate geopolitics - I'm down. Its sure as hell not going to be a romantic date, but it could be intellectually stimulating - but I'm not sure how much 'chemistry' that would build.[/quote'] Really? Cause I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it...
Author always_searching Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 I know the feeling. Being a brainiac,I can't buy a date. Believe me, I've tried. :lmao: You could buy a realdoll and take him on a date...
You'reasian Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 (edited) Really? Cause I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it... I'm flattered - you're probably more intelligent than I am and again I'm ok with women who are - a date like that would be interesting and last a long time...... ....reason being i've forgotten advanced integration techniques and partial differential eqs Edited October 3, 2009 by You'reasian
Trialbyfire Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Hey TBF, what do you mean by "vibes and social cues, that a woman gives off?"Without meaning to, a woman can give off the "hands off" cues, due to shyness, etc. If she's too forward or too timid, this can turn a guy off, etc, etc. If she's too focused on intellect, she'll give the impression of condescension to the guy, without meaning to. If she doesn't flirt, she can look disinterested. But also, is she giving the cues to the guys who aren't a good match for her? Is she oblivious to male cues for guys who are interested in her? It could be anything or any combination of anything. TBF and others who have brought up the security issue: Just for reference, insecurity really isn't related to why I asked the question. Personally, if someone doesn't like me, for whatever reason: bully for them! I could care less what people think of me. I really only asked the question, because I want to know what men think of intelligent women generally. It's more of a social/psychological consideration than anything. Well, being totally secure with myself is not entirely true--I oftentimes worry that I am not fun/spontaneous enough. Regardless, I'm not insecure about my physicality or my mentality. I know I am not the most intelligent person, nor am I the most beautiful. However, I'm not entirely deprived of either. If it's not insecurity, then my story won't relate and would be useless to you. Regardless, it's not an exact fit for the intelligence aspect, anyways. Just how insecurities can impact when they're outwardly projected. I also don't think that intelligence or any other "positive" trait is a deterrent to the right men. If someone needs you to be behind or beneath them, rather than beside them, they're not the right person for you.
grogster Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 :lmao: You could buy a realdoll and take him on a date... I tried. She turned me down.
You'reasian Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Just wanted to let all the nerd girls out there that there are guys who appreciate you and love your talents
Author always_searching Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 If it's not insecurity, then my story won't relate and would be useless to you. Regardless, it's not an exact fit for the intelligence aspect, anyways. Just how insecurities can impact when they're outwardly projected. I also don't think that intelligence or any other "positive" trait is a deterrent to the right men. If someone needs you to be behind or beneath them, rather than beside them, they're not the right person for you. Awww...but I was looking forward to it! Besides, maybe it will apply to other girls who could be reading the thread.
Trialbyfire Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Awww...but I was looking forward to it! Besides, maybe it will apply to other girls who could be reading the thread.Nah, it's pretty personal and while pieces of it have been posted all over LS, at different times, I've never bothered to put it all together, including the realizations from it. I'll post it another day, in a thread where it might help the OP or maybe I'll open a new thread one day about it, although I don't really need any advice about it, anymore. Btw, while you and I rarely agree, I like your threads and also, how you think.
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 (edited) Librarians are hott!!!.. in a naughty, sexy kinda way.. Intelligence is a turn on.. but only if the humor is there to match... Patron: "I am looking for a globe of the earth." Librarian: "We have a table-top model over here." Patron: "No, that's not good enough. Don't you have a life-size?" Librarian: (pause) "Yes, but it's in use right now." Hot!!! Edited October 3, 2009 by Art_Critic
sweetjasmine Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Librarians are hott!!!.. in a naughty, sexy kinda way.. Not the ones I worked with!
Isolde Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Without meaning to, a woman can give off the "hands off" cues, due to shyness, etc. If she's too forward or too timid, this can turn a guy off, etc, etc. If she's too focused on intellect, she'll give the impression of condescension to the guy, without meaning to. If she doesn't flirt, she can look disinterested. But also, is she giving the cues to the guys who aren't a good match for her? Is she oblivious to male cues for guys who are interested in her? It could be anything or any combination of anything. Dating is way too difficult I'll try to remember what you've said in the past about it being easy, when it's right.
Author always_searching Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 Nah, it's pretty personal and while pieces of it have been posted all over LS, at different times, I've never bothered to put it all together, including the realizations from it. I'll post it another day, in a thread where it might help the OP or maybe I'll open a new thread one day about it, although I don't really need any advice about it, anymore. Btw, while you and I rarely agree, I like your threads and also, how you think. Awww, Trialbyfire! *hugs* Indeed, we do rarely agree, but I enjoy your well-thought-out posts and that you are open-minded enough to converse with me, while not being judgmental--particularly regarding the God thread. Well, one day I'd be honored to hear your story, if you decide to tell it. I'm not sure what it was that you were insecure about, but I'm glad to know it's no longer a problem for you, as you seem to be a beautiful, thoughtful, and intellectual woman and, thus, have absolutely nothing to be insecure about!
Author always_searching Posted October 3, 2009 Author Posted October 3, 2009 Librarians are hott!!!.. in a naughty, sexy kinda way.. Intelligence is a turn on.. but only if the humor is there to match... Patron: "I am looking for a globe of the earth." Librarian: "We have a table-top model over here." Patron: "No, that's not good enough. Don't you have a life-size?" Librarian: (pause) "Yes, but it's in use right now." Hot!!! If I were a guy or a lesbian: I would totally be into librarians! Hot-hot-hot! I'm told I look like a "dirty librarian." Honestly...you wear glasses, dress professionally, and talk about philosophy, and you're automatically put in the "librarian" category--I suppose I should be grateful to at least be in the "dirty" subcategory. Hahaha, at least someone thinks it's hot!
Woggle Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Hahahaha!:lmao: Oh, man. How many "smart and successful women" do you know? Because, honestly, I know quite a few, and though there are some who are married or in happy monogamous relationships, the majority can't get a date for the life of them--and it honestly doesn't seem to have anything to do with looks or attitude. For example: one of my less intellectual and less superficially attractive friends is terribly mean to most people, including her husband--who is quite intellectual and hot as hell. Another one of my friends is beautiful, smart, and as kind as can be--she hasn't been on a date in years. So, I really don't see how "attitude" has anything to do with it, as most women I know who are married or seeing someone are kind of bitchy--it actually makes me want to read that book "Why Men Love Bitches." Rather than attitude, I find that, other than not being physically attractive enough: the sure way to turn off a man is to be more intellectual than he is. Most truly smart women I know are happy in their relationships and if they are single they are not bitter about it. Men do not want a woman who has an attitude problem and has a chip on her shoulder against men and I think that many of these women use the too smart or too independent excuse to cover up for that.
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 It's funny how everyone in this thread perceives themselves to be super intelligent. There are really not that many very intelligent people around (if you look at the distribution of IQ scores, you will know what I mean). To answer the thread's question, people of similar or "close to" intelligence are best suited to each other. How can there be a strong connection between 2 people if one person is intellectually much superior to the other? They perceive the world differently, process the information differently, will more than likely have different interests. I just don't see how a LTR would truly be sustainable if there is a huge disparity. So no, men don't turn you down because you are "too intelligent" and because they are intimidated. They will turn you down if they feel no connection and/or physical attraction to you.
OpenBook Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 I think it all comes down to how you make the other person FEEL. If you're super-intelligent, and you interact with another person in such a way that it comes across like you're looking down your nose at them - or using your intelligence as a weapon against them - then it's no surprise that they aren't interested in further "relations" with you. Kindness trumps intelligence, in my book.
grogster Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 People often act as if "Intelligence" is a stand alone attribute that's visible to others and stands separate and apart from who and what we are: our appearance, personality, temperament, style, etc. It's not. Intelligence is just one attribute among many that people perceive and gauge in others. And in the meet and match mating game, it's often not the deciding factor. As previous posters have noted, kindness, a sense of connection and all the other assortative mating factors enter into the mix.When it comes to attraction, it's the range of perceived difference in intelligence (or relative intelligence) that matters as opposed to stand alone IQ. If folks appear to overvalue intelligence here (whether their own or as an independent mating factor), its because that's the Thread topic and we do not have many other cues with which to work. For me, if someone views herself as bright, that's a proxy for self-confidence, which itself is very sexy. At the end of the day, I don't know a single guy who has ever rejected a woman simply because he viewed her as too intelligent. There most often are other reasons: appearance, arrogance (perceived or real), his class or intellectual insecurity, etc.
Recommended Posts