Author always_searching Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 Men are not regressing. Smart and successful women have no problem with their love lives but a nasty attitude will repell a man very quickly. It is much easier to say that men are not attracted to strong or intelligent women than it is for a woman to really look at herself and find out why she is unlucky in love. Hahahaha!:lmao: Oh, man. How many "smart and successful women" do you know? Because, honestly, I know quite a few, and though there are some who are married or in happy monogamous relationships, the majority can't get a date for the life of them--and it honestly doesn't seem to have anything to do with looks or attitude. For example: one of my less intellectual and less superficially attractive friends is terribly mean to most people, including her husband--who is quite intellectual and hot as hell. Another one of my friends is beautiful, smart, and as kind as can be--she hasn't been on a date in years. So, I really don't see how "attitude" has anything to do with it, as most women I know who are married or seeing someone are kind of bitchy--it actually makes me want to read that book "Why Men Love Bitches." Rather than attitude, I find that, other than not being physically attractive enough: the sure way to turn off a man is to be more intellectual than he is.
Author always_searching Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 Maybe I'm uneducated but I don't know what this is meant to mean. The example doesn't seem to match. Can you specify what it is that you are not understanding? Is it my distinction between educated and intelligent? There is most certainly a distinction: though the two usually go hand-in-hand, I wouldn't claim that everyone who has a degree is intelligent.
clv0116 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Rather than attitude, I find that, other than not being physically attractive enough: the sure way to turn off a man is to be more intellectual than he is. Well people of either gender who are half-bright and think they're a genius are really annoying to those of us who actually are that smart. Maybe this is what you're observing.
clv0116 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Can you specify what it is that you are not understanding? The phrase "imperative role" in the quoted context.
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Attraction is impossible to describe, in a logical fashion since it's not a one size fits all. Being intelligent, won't turn off someone who finds you attractive. If anything, it will enhance the attraction. It's the vibes or social cues a woman gives off, that will turn a man off or on, more than being "too anything". Same goes if you reverse the genders.
Author always_searching Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 The phrase "imperative role" in the quoted context. In order to answer this, recall that I don't find educated to be entirely synonymous with intelligent, thus I am using the two (in this example) as separate terms: As far as the role of education is concerned: I'm claiming that educated men usually don't care about whether they are more or less intelligent than their women; however, generally, educated men want to be with educated women.
shadowplay Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 TYou'd think intellectual men would easily connect with intellectual women but instead, I think both spend much of their time and energy when young trying to impress the socially popular among the opposite sex -- maybe to prove that we're not freaks of nature, I don't know. Good observation. I don't find myself doing this (intelligence is a must for me), but I've noticed that many others do.
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 "Too anything" creates a one-dimensional feel to anyone.
Author always_searching Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 "Too anything" creates a one-dimensional feel to anyone. Happy Friday afternoon, TBF! Is that picture of you? If so, you may be just too beautiful for anyone! Seriously though, you think that someone can be "too much" of a, generally, good thing? Again, recall I'm not calming that these intellectual women only have their intellect to offer: most of the intellectual women I know are hilarious, some are quite physically attractive, etc.. I agree that most people don't want someone who is all intellect and a Quasimodo-looking bore. But claiming someone can have "too much" of something that is generally perceived as good seems strange to me.
Author always_searching Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 i don't like girls that are bookworms LOL, oh, alpha...why do you feel the need to post these kinds of comments? Do the women you date know you feel this way? Maybe a better question is: do you date?
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Happy Friday afternoon, TBF! Is that picture of you? If so, you may be just too beautiful for anyone! Seriously though, you think that someone can be "too much" of a, generally, good thing? Again, recall I'm not calming that these intellectual women only have their intellect to offer: most of the intellectual women I know are hilarious, some are quite physically attractive, etc.. I agree that most people don't want someone who is all intellect and a Quasimodo-looking bore. But claiming someone can have "too much" of something that is generally perceived as good seems strange to me.Yes, it's a picture of me and no, my man doesn't feel I'm too anything. I don't honestly think that anyone is "too anything". It's a form of avoidance. Whether it's because the person is targeting the wrong individuals or possibly giving off the wrong social cues, only that person or those they trust to be honest to them, who's opinion is steeped in perceptive reality, can know for certain. As an analogy, lets say there's a guy who's wicked smaht, but all he emphasizes is how absolutely gorgeous he is and bemoans that no one appreciates how gorgeous he is. He spends his entire day grooming himself, standing in front of mirrors, asking for compliments from people around him. Who's going to notice how wicked smaht he is, if all they see is a man with major insecurities?
the beholder Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Good observation. I don't find myself doing this (intelligence is a must for me), but I've noticed that many others do. You must be the only one sane in your circle then... how could intelligence in a girl be a turn off for any men in their right mind... if I had to choose between a bimbo and a beautiful intelligent girl it woult be the second without any doubt... but theres no way Id go for a nerdy lookin gal
sally4sara Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Good observation. I don't find myself doing this (intelligence is a must for me), but I've noticed that many others do. Well this is where a person's intelligence CAN get in the way of being found romantically interesting. By all means, being smart is a plus, but I cannot stand pretentious people. It isn't very smart to walk around bothering people with how smart YOU are! If someone is a smart person, it will be obvious to others. On a lighter note... Teremere, Please don't use the words "cougar" "boxes" and "ticked" in the same sentence; I read ticked as tickled and choked on my coffee. :lmao::lmao:
westernxer Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I went out with this professor once. When I told a friend about her, he said he couldn't date those type of women, and that he likes them "dumb as can be." LOL
grogster Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Yes, it's a picture of me and no, my man doesn't feel I'm too anything. I don't honestly think that anyone is "too anything". It's a form of avoidance. Whether it's because the person is targeting the wrong individuals or possibly giving off the wrong social cues, only that person or those they trust to be honest to them, who's opinion is steeped in perceptive reality, can know for certain. As an analogy, lets say there's a guy who's wicked smaht, but all he emphasizes is how absolutely gorgeous he is and bemoans that no one appreciates how gorgeous he is. He spends his entire day grooming himself, standing in front of mirrors, asking for compliments from people around him. Who's going to notice how wicked smaht he is, if all they see is a man with major insecurities? Well, TBF, you do look very intelligent in your picture. Perhaps too. Tone it down a notch or two.
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 always searching, I have a personal story to tell, that's related to this, which happened to me. If you're interested, I will post it. If not, that's cool too.
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Well, TBF, you do look very intelligent in your picture. Perhaps too. Tone it down a notch or two. I knew it all along. My neurotransmitters intimidate you.
sumdude Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I knew it all along. My neurotransmitters intimidate you. Bring 'em ON! .. Too bad you're taken...*sigh*
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Bring 'em ON! .. Too bad you're taken...*sigh*I'm flattered. always searching, I think the point the guys are trying to make in a lighthearted manner, is that they're not intimidated by "too anything".
grogster Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I'm flattered. always searching, I think the point the guys are trying to make in a lighthearted manner, is that they're not intimidated by "too anything". You give us way too much credit, TBF. Remember, we're guys. Back on topic, I believe we've concluded that intimidation is negatively correlated with age, accomplishment and intelligence. Meaning: the older, the brighter and more accomplished the guy, the less likely he'll be put off by a very bright woman (all things being equal). This Thread tends to confirm that.
Lizzie60 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Imagine someone who is intelligent, beautiful, funny, sexy... gosh it's hard to be me sometimes.. :laugh:
grogster Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Imagine someone who is intelligent, beautiful, funny, sexy... gosh it's hard to be me sometimes.. :laugh: I know the feeling. Being a brainiac,I can't buy a date. Believe me, I've tried.
Devil Inside Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I haven't read the thread...but to answer the original question....sure. Although, to be honest, I do not find that women with superior intellect will often let me know that they are that intelligent.
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 You give us way too much credit, TBF. Remember, we're guys. Nah, deny it all you like but I see through your ploy! Btw, always searching, so that you know, my story is tied into my own previous insecurities.
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