CaliGuy Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Men, my questions for you are: (1) what are your thoughts on intellectual women, Love 'em. (2) is there a limit to how intellectual a woman can be and still be considered romantically attractive, and, finally, Nope. (3) what is your current age and social position? 40. Not sure what you mean by social position. I'm an Engineer. I ask the latter, because I find that older men are more open to being with intellectual women than younger men are; but, I'm also in college, so maybe my demographic is altering the outcome. That's simply because intelligent women aren't going to easily fall for players -- at least IMHO. So younger guys who go for the ditsy type do so only because they feel they can manipulate them easier. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 And way to be well rounded! I'm amazed that he was amazed that you could do a variety of things. I mean really, who would have thought that a smart women could do more than one thing! The best kind by far! Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 We were obviously dating the same types of guys! ha! In my experience the more education a guy really has the more he feels threatened by a women with as much education/intelligence. And way to be well rounded! I'm amazed that he was amazed that you could do a variety of things. I mean really, who would have thought that a smart women could do more than one thing! Then I'm the exception to your "in my experience" rule. I prefer women to be smarter than I because "bright is sexy," smart people are often more interesting than their less smart counterparts and the IQ difference keeps me on my toes. Pride makes it difficult to slum mentally with a very smart lover. Even here, I'm drawn inexorably to the brightest posters (they know who they are). Intelligence can be a huge turn-on. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Even here, I'm drawn inexorably to the brightest posters (they know who they are). Intelligence can be a huge turn-on. I have a slight crush on Taramere, too. I suspect I would happily do her photocopying. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I have a slight crush on Taramere, too. I suspect I would happily do her photocopying. After me, GT. After me. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I think that some genuinely unattractive (physically / personally) women use the "he won't date me because i'm intellectually intimidating" line as a bitter defense mechanism to explain their sorry personal lives. I think some men call smart women names or tell them "they are just bitter", because they are insecure with themselves. Not saying that's you at all. Just mentioning that there is another side to the coin. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 What if you knew she was more intellectual, but acted dumb/let you feel smarter? if you're a smart dude you can see thru this pretty easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I think the best match is someone of equal yet complementary intelligence.This is it, in a nutshell. It's no different than the five languages of love. If you can't "get" where the other is coming from or appreciate who and what they are, in the way that makes sense to them, it's just not going to happen between the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 This is it, in a nutshell. It's no different than the five languages of love. If you can't "get" where the other is coming from or appreciate who and what they are, in the way that makes sense to them, it's just not going to happen between the two of you. That's why I suspect IQ plays a large role in positive assortative mating. Meaning: long-time couples possess roughly similiar scores on intelligence tests. It makes sense that a general equivalency exists in spousal intelligence levels. I have no support for my belief, but I suspect the studies are out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 That's why I suspect IQ plays a large role in positive assortative mating. Meaning: long-time couples possess roughly similiar scores on intelligence tests. It makes sense that a general equivalency exists in spousal intelligence levels. I have no support for my belief, but I suspect the studies are out there.I've heard about this but haven't really looked into this much. I can only agree based on anaecdoetal experience, from observing successful marriages and LTRs. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 That's why I suspect IQ plays a large role in positive assortative mating. Meaning: long-time couples possess roughly similiar scores on intelligence tests. It makes sense that a general equivalency exists in spousal intelligence levels. I have no support for my belief, but I suspect the studies are out there. It also wouldn't surprise me if one scores higher in ares where the other scores lower creating a whole that is greater than it's parts. Just a nice ideal, no clue how it could even be measured. Another take on Yin & Yang perhaps? Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 It also wouldn't surprise me if one scores higher in ares where the other scores lower creating a whole that is greater than it's parts. Just a nice ideal, no clue how it could even be measured. Another take on Yin & Yang perhaps? That's very interesting: complementary intelligences that form a gestalt, which generates synergies. A "Couple" Mind that is greater than the sum of its parts. I see an evolutionary argument for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Okay, now you two fine gentlemen are scaring me, when discussing a borg style marriage or LTR. It doesn't need to be an assimilation/consumption of individuality! In all seriousness sumdude, when stating complementary personalities, how extreme are you suggesting? As an example, the man has a high IQ and the woman, has a high EQ. Would this be the complementary combination you're talking about, sumdude? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 As an example, the man has a high IQ and the woman, has a high EQ. Would this be the complementary combination you're talking about, sumdude? ya i think thats what he means Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I think that some women who feel they are too smart or too strong or too successful for any man are simply covering up for negative personality traits. There are plenty of intelligent women who have no problem having successful relationships with men so maybe these women who claim they are too intimidating should look at themselves and wonder why they really drive away men. Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 It also wouldn't surprise me if one scores higher in ares where the other scores lower creating a whole that is greater than it's parts. Just a nice ideal, no clue how it could even be measured. Another take on Yin & Yang perhaps? Well, well, well...I need to go hang around MIT. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 There are plenty of intelligent women who have no problem having successful relationships with men so maybe these women who claim they are too intimidating should look at themselves and wonder why they really drive away men. well one thing is that most intelligent women are total skanks so that could be one reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 well one thing is that most intelligent women are total skanks so that could be one reason. This is not true. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Yeah. I equate most 25 year old lawyers with the words "could you photocopy these productions for me, please?" So I can empathise with you for feeling the way you do. OMG, girl! If you keep this up I might think about switching sides............ Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Okay, now you two fine gentlemen are scaring me, when discussing a borg style marriage or LTR. It doesn't need to be an assimilation/consumption of individuality! In all seriousness sumdude, when stating complementary personalities, how extreme are you suggesting? As an example, the man has a high IQ and the woman, has a high EQ. Would this be the complementary combination you're talking about, sumdude? It's all about the Hive, TBF! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 It's all about the Hive, TBF! I'm killing myself laughing for all kinds of reasons!! Just about every facet of mainstream society fits into this mould of bees buzzing, one direction, one mind, one heart, one beer. Naughty, naughty! As for complementary intelligence levels using extreme examples of such, this, I can't relate to from observation of successful marriages and LTRs. There needs to be some degree of intellectual similarity between the individuals. Otherwise, they're not going to be able to communicate very well. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 i actually prefer smart educated women as long as they're not smarter than me. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I have found that the relationships that have been the most at ease (for them), were with very intelligent men. I am not surprised by this and don't fret over it too much as I wouldn't enjoy dating someone who was much less intelligent than myself. I do notice though, that when the guy has been more intelligent than myself, I don't feel threatened the way some guys have been about my intelligence. Not to imply anything other than my own experiences, but the only times a guy has been bothered by my intelligence, they were a few years older and initially thought I was much younger than they were. I took that to mean my perceived age was part of their initial interest. So maybe they were seeking a less intelligent partner to begin with? Well, that is their right...... I have learned there are different ways to be intelligent and sometimes a person's intelligence is only in specific subjects. I can respect both the "Jack of all trades" and the practical savant. My first serious BF had one area of intelligence. He is still to this day, the best guitarist I've ever heard and went on to be part of a very successful signed band. It is all he has ever been good at, so lucky for him. I respect his success and ability but he was never very book or street smart. My current SO likes to brag that he is the smartest person he knows. To his credit, he is pretty damn smart in many areas due to an affluent education bought by his parents money. A much better education than I was afforded for sure. I can still spot a BS artist from a mile away where he would happily think he had made a new friend. I think most people would do well to learn to respect the knowledge of other people even if it isn't the same as their own because we all have something to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Shin0bi1 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Intellect and smarts are all relative I guess. I have married and dating women who were superior to me in intellect/smarts in certain areas. My last ex-girlfriend was more successful than me in career wise, finacially smarter (investments and such), and new more about running businesses and such. She also had a vast knowledge of cigars and wine and knew more worldly things than me. I used to listen to her experiences for hours and found it fascinating. My ex-wife is a math wizard and a classical piano playing genius. Her photographic memory is also top-notch and I could never remember well enough to win arguments when bringing up past stuff with her haha! Even though I may know more about electronics and computers and cars than they do, I don't feel that I am more intelligent than the women I have been involved with. I believe they thought the same too and that they didnt feel superior to me because they knew more about a couple of subject matters that I did. I prefer my next woman, who-ever-she is, in a LTR to be very intelligent. I want her to make up for the things I am not good at so that we compliment each other. Its is an encouraging thought that I have a track record of meeting very smart women and I hope it continues. The only thing I hate about intelligent/smart women is sometimes you will run into one that has a chip on her shoulder. This very smart women will display serious immature pettiness about other women and severely judge them by social status or job title/history or financial security or whatever. It's like some of them get so self righteous and claim that if they can do it and reach their successes than anyone women can do it and if they can't than they are giving other women a "bad name" for lack of "ambition". -Shin0bi1 Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Okay, now you two fine gentlemen are scaring me, when discussing a borg style marriage or LTR. It doesn't need to be an assimilation/consumption of individuality! In all seriousness sumdude, when stating complementary personalities, how extreme are you suggesting? As an example, the man has a high IQ and the woman, has a high EQ. Would this be the complementary combination you're talking about, sumdude? After the mind meld there is no more me or you only the grand WE! lol Though there are actually three entities in a good LTR, You, Me and We. Shin0bi stated it very well. I prefer my next woman, who-ever-she is, in a LTR to be very intelligent. I want her to make up for the things I am not good at so that we compliment each other. Obviously a lot of traditional roles don't apply much anymore. However they did work quite well for many couples for a very long time. For example I can cook pretty well but don't really have the urge so if she likes to cook that's a plus! A good buddy of mine loves to cook, his wife burns frozen pizza.. great matchup! Link to post Share on other sites
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