SummerLady Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I am def an extreme indivdual. I don't like chocolate, I love it. I don't dislike lima beans, I hate them. There is no middle ground for me with most things. This is my personality. This is me. The more I thought about this the more I see how this impacts my love life. I go for the gusto and no in between. You will never hear me say, " Well he is ok, going go out on one more date and see where it goes." OR " He is ok to date right now, I am not head over heels but he is fun." Getting the point here? I don't just like or love someone, I fall hard when I fall. And I will say I am a picky person, so when I find someone I really like watch out. Not sure if this is smart. Wouldn't it be better to just like someone and have control and not be full throttle from the word go?? I could have that but chose not to. Maybe dumb on my part??? Giving your heart away is a big risk, maybe its easier to take small risks and get smaller rewards? Yes, no?? thoughts??
aerogurl87 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Haha you sound like my boyfriend. He has no middle ground on anything, it's either/or with him. Either he loves something or hates it. Anyway, I think this is just your personality, nothing wrong with that. And the fact that your really picky helps. I say as long as you go into a relationship with your eyes open for any red flags (and actually adhere to them) then there's no problem. Personally I'm not really the same way, but I do fall crazily in love easily when I find someone who I have alot of chemistry with and they meet or exceed my standards. Good luck though.
alphamale Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 you can fall "hard" for someone but over a long period of time. it just depends on how often you get together. that is the best way oh summerlady-san "oft times if one falls hard even more bones will be broken" - ancient chinese proverb
splintered thing Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I'd say be true to yourself. Live life the way you feel it and that way you'll end up with someone who truly appreciates the person you are, not someone whose heart is set on the more ordinary individual you tried to pretend to be. Flying high sometimes means crashing hard, but would you give up feeling those heights for a little safety?
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Summer - I've done both. Falling so hard I felt like I broke something, and the "well, he's okay for right now." Yes - the eventual break up of the "hard fall" was more painful, but given the choice - I'd choose it again. As I told the guy I'm seeing now (who, yes - I'm getting very dangerously close to falling very hard for), in spite of being hurt in the past, it's never been a mistake once I chose to love somebody. My most recent xbf was my "fun for now" guy. I didn't feel passionate about him and it fizzled after 6 months because there wasn't more there. Yeah, we had fun. But now I'm thinking it would have been a good 6 months to just self-reflect and be alone. So I vote for "fall hard" and just embrace the lessons. But then - I'm a passionate person about life just like you. I tend to be VERY black/white.
Woggle Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 You can really like something and still be rational about it.
Island Girl Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I've never been sorry for going for something when I want it and that includes romance. I love LOVE. I love hearing other people's love stories and enjoy living my own to the fullest possible. I, like SSC, am passionate in life. I LIVE it where I am able every chance I get. And I have never regretted it or been sorry for it. What would make me sorry is to look back and have to play Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.
EricaH329 Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I have this same problem. Lately, i've been realizing it's more than just a problem. I feel like it could possibly ruin my love life forever. There is no in-between with me. I don't just like a person. I either really like them, or don't like them at all. I can't just 'date' around. If I don't feel some sort of intense connection with the other person, it's a lost hope. I'm guessing this is because i've already experienced that incredibly intense feeling when I first met the love of my life (my ex), and now I can't settle for anything less than that. I don't know about you, but I can't help it. If someone told me (which they have) that it's alright to just like someone and go from there... I wouldn't be able to lower those standards. I mentally can not do it. It's a curse. I'm doomed!
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