Sarita12385 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Hello and thanks to all who provide their opinion/advice. When I was growing up, I was extremely close with a select 4 or 5 people. Our friendships lasted until mid high-school time period. I remained extremely close even after high school and most of the time through my college career as well with one of the 5 friends, we’ll call him “Jack”. Jack had always been like a brother to me growing up, and I mean that in every sense possible. There was never any sexual tension between us, we would talk to each other about our relationships, life, just everything. I never had a friendship/relationship like that with anyone else in my life ever. We were together constantly and always there for each other. We would give each other advice on our most current “bf/gf” situations, etc. I am now married with a baby and very happy with my life and my family. During the past 4 years or so, Jack and I lost touch because he had met someone who he planned on being with forever, unfortunately though this woman did not approve of Jack having female friends. That’s fine. Mike and I stopped talking, and he ended up having a child with this other woman. So after 4 years of me trying to find him, even expressing how much I missed him to my husband, I finally get a hold of him recently and we began talking again. Sadly, he went through some unfortunate events with his (now ex) girlfriend and the baby (long story). He asked to get together sometime just to catch up, etc and to see each other. My husband is very aware of who Jack is and how extremely close we were. I’ve even shed some tears in front of my husband when explaining how much it hurt to not have him in my life anymore and he didn’t seem at all bothered. I feel like I need a “marriage 101” class or something. Would it seem inappropriate to meet up with my long-lost best bud?
freestyle Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I think it would be fine as long as you include your husband. That way, any fears or jealousy can be allayed. Also make sure that when you converse, that you integrate your H into the conversation so he doesn't end up feeling like a third wheel. It's very common for reunited friends to get swept in strolling down memory lane, leaving their SO's feeling left out. Try to be conscious of that, and stay tuned into your H's emotional state.He's your #1 now, make sure you demonstrate that to him, as well as your old bud, and everything might be okay.
Ronni_W Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Would it seem inappropriate to meet up with my long-lost best bud? What does your husband think and how does he feel about it? And what are your thoughts and feelings about doing it? Those are the ONLY TWO opinions that actually matter. OTOH. You did a lot of explaining about it. Yes, to give readers a clear picture but...was there anything that you needed to convince yourself about? Any doubts or misgivings or fears that kind of want-to-but-don't-want-to make themselves known to your conscious mind? For me - and granted this is only for/about me - I'd check with my partner and then I'd be out the door. If I found myself doing lengthy explanations and soliciting the opinions of friends and strangers, I'd get suspicious about my own motives, thoughts, whatevers. If there is a nagging 'something', even if you can't put your finger on it or crystallize it...in my experience, always better to trust that message from one's own Intuition/Higher Mind. I think maybe...do you have a sense that, if you meet with 'Jack', you might end up putting something important at risk?
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