Paragon Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 It seems to me that most guys have absolutely NO clue as to what women are attracted to. There are PLENTY of MISconceptions out there about what women REALLY want in a guy. It pains me to see so many men go through life and struggle to understand women on their deepest emotional levels and then make irrational assertions about what they THINK women truly respond to and then espouse that as truth. Everyone is reaching for these ideals of manhood that are so familiar to them yet so enigmatic and esoteric in reality that they know not where to grasp, or even WHAT to grasp at?!?! Such ideals must be modeled, but the models are so far and few in between, when ironically, one would think that since everyone strives for certain ideals, there would be a bit more success among us...However this is NOT the case, and the saddest part of it all, is that unbeknownst to society, we are dismal failure as a whole in regards to achieving what we set out to achieve. To cry success is merely a dissonance reducing solution in TRUE reality, whereas in society's own, crying success sounds of truth and attainment. The mystic chords of harmony that we all seek to hear have been drowned out by these deaf fools, screaming and rejoicing of false success in (at least perceived by those who know the truth) savage, face-saving, mistaken, and meaningless tongues...Take a journey with me as I seek to lead us out, to a better place, a place of REAL truth. This thread is about what women REALLY want in a man. These aren't THEORIES, they aren't OPINIONS, they aren't rash judgments based on a pessimistic past--they are REAL qualities that evoke POSITIVE results. At the end of the day, it's not about what you think, or what you believe--it's about what's REAL. If you're in the dating scene, then this thread is for you. If you're in a happy relationship and want to enhance it and take it to the next level, or simply redirect a bad relationship to a better place, then this thread is for you. Even if you're married--this thread is for you. This thread will apply to EVERY guy, no matter what his current romantic situation. And ladies, this thread does NOT leave you out--I welcome you to participate and add your thoughts as we go along and help me as I illuminate the path the authenticity and genuity. If you're still reading, you're probably asking yourself what makes me such an expert on this. Well, instead of sitting here on a soap box trying to convince YOU to listen to ME by giving you a background on myself which no one can really PROVE, i'm going to direct you to the CONTENT itself and suggest you to simply--try it out. Talk to women about it, single and taken. Hell, you might even try cultivating some of the qualities we discuss in this thread and then go and see what a positive difference it makes in the results you have with women. We can argue on a forum all day--but if you really want to test it's validity, get out there and do it! There are numerous qualities that are integral and attributive to manhood, and we're going to take it one at a time and THOROUGHLY discuss each of them. And since we're talking about truth here, we'll start with one of the most paramount and quintessential qualities any man MUST have--HONESTY.
GorillaTheater Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I think you could use an editor, but go ahead, I'm interested in what you come up with.
Author Paragon Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 One of the most lacking traits in men, hell even in society in general, is that of honesty. Honesty means much more than telling the truth, and it goes deeper than just not lying. We can discuss honesty in depth for a long time, but what does it mean in regards to MANHOOD? Honesty means being true to yourself and others. But that seems like just another nominalization to me. What does being true to yourself and others entail? It entails being able to look in the mirror and know who you are, then conducting yourself in a manner CONGRUENT to who you KNOW you are. Honesty entails being upfront about your intentions, your values, your beliefs, your thoughts, and your actions. It involves making sure these aforementioned things are congruent with your character. Women have an innate sense of when men are being deceitful or lying—it’s like a sixth sense to them, and even though some guys may be good enough to temporarily fool a woman into thinking he’s someone that he’s really not, the charade WILL be uncovered. Women are DESIGNED to be able to pick out HONEST and congruent men—women are the drivers of sexual selection. If you tell a woman you’re interested in something you’re really not, she’ll know you’re lying. If you are pretending to be someone you’re not, or you pretend to share commonalities with her, she’ll know you’re lying and if not right way—soon enough. Honesty means telling the truth, or being truthful. You should ALWAYS tell the truth—even if you know it might hurt the other person. I think this last phrase is self-explanatory—but what’s not is the grey situations that come up, one of which I’ll give an example. Here’s where a lot of people get tripped up. Let’s say your partner has gained some weight, and she asks you if you think she’s fat. Let’s even go ahead and say in your head, you think she’s pretty close to that point, or even AT that point where you’d consider her fat. Should you be HONEST and tell her she’s fat? That’s half-correct, the part about being honest. What you need to understand though, is that she’s really not asking whether or not you think she’s fat. She’s a human being and perfectly capable of assessing whether or not she’s fat and doesn’t need or want you’re your input on it because in most cases—she already has her mind made up on if she thinks she is or isn’t overweight. What she’s asking you to do is answer a deeper question, a question hidden in the subtext of the situation. Here’s how a genuine man would give his answer, as he walks over to her, and wraps his arms around her while looking into her eyes, finally saying, “Honey, did you know you’re still beautiful to me? I understand that you’re worried about how you look, and I love that about you. And your looks alone can’t destroy my attraction towards you because my attraction for you runs deeper than that. Did I like when you were a bit thinner? Of course I did, and that’s one of the reasons why I was sexually drawn to you to begin with. I just don’t want you to think that’s the be all end all here.” Again, the question she asked you is NOT the question she wants answered, and the answer above answers the DEEPER question, while STILL SPEAKING to the surface question. This then leaves you at a better place to continue discussing that topic of conversation with her if either if you still wants to. It is important to remember and understand that women don’t only respond to WHAT you say, but rather how it makes them feel. I’m sure this paragraph will spark some conversation, so we can address this further if need be when it comes up. Onward. Honesty ALSO means not omitting IMPORTANT information that your partner would want to hear. I hear time and time again how couples get upset at each other because the other person failed to tell them something, and they were accused of lying. But the accused holds onto the fact that they didn’t lie—they just didn’t tell their partner. That is being DISHONEST, the antithesis of honesty. Women have a lot more respect for you if you simply tell them the truth, because there are TWO things that you NEVER want to lose from a women—her trust in you, and her respect for you. When one of those two things are lost, the relationship will result in an unhappy couple. Honesty is a very straightforward virtue to understand, but its intricacies are often more difficult to be au fait with. I feel this is enough of a delineation for the time being on honesty and we can address any objections or questions about detailed situations if you want as they come up. Practice a little more honesty in your life when given the chance, and see the positive results that manifest themselves when you do this. Stay tuned for next week’s quality—confidence. And let me assure you that our discussion will go much deeper than you’d think.
Author Paragon Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 I think you could use an editor, but go ahead, I'm interested in what you come up with. My writing style is purposeful
espec10001 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Your writing style is too difficult to read and it is evident it is based upon the emotions more than the intelligence. Clean it up to make it easier to read.
clv0116 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Any intentional deception is a lie, telling of untruth is merely often used in the effort to deceive, it's not the definition of lying, however.
Author Paragon Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 Your writing style is too difficult to read and it is evident it is based upon the emotions more than the intelligence. Clean it up to make it easier to read. I'm not interested on whether or not you can comprehend what i'm trying to say or your thoughts on my writing style. Move on to the next thread
Author Paragon Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 Any intentional deception is a lie, telling of untruth is merely often used in the effort to deceive, it's not the definition of lying, however. Is this a response to something I said or more/less a random thought on the topic of honesty?
GorillaTheater Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Honesty is good, tempered with a healthy respect for her feelings and one's own skin. Got it.
GorillaTheater Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I'm not interested on whether or not you can comprehend what i'm trying to say or your thoughts on my writing style. Move on to the next thread Hey, I'm trying to work with you here, but it has to be recipricated. There's something to be said for communication skills, I've found.
Author Paragon Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 Honesty is good, tempered with a healthy respect for her feelings and one's own skin. Got it. I just wish that statement was understood by the majority of men, and sadly it's not... If it was, there'd be no need for as MUCH of an elaboration on such a topic. But yea, that's part of the main theme in the honesty post.
Author Paragon Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 Hey, I'm trying to work with you here, but it has to be recipricated. There's something to be said for communication skills, I've found. Gorilla, i've had more upperlevel training in communicating and writing than I care to say. There's always going to be people who don't like certain styles of communicating, and if they do not wish to take the time to read it carefully, then there's no need for me to cater to them in the first place. It's not those people i'm trying to reach. It's the others.
GorillaTheater Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Gorilla, i've had more upperlevel training in communicating and writing than I care to say. There's always going to be people who don't like certain styles of communicating, and if they do not wish to take the time to read it carefully, then there's no need for me to cater to them in the first place. It's not those people i'm trying to reach. It's the others. Great. One other comment on this and I'll let it go. First, here are my qualifications: 1) 19 years as an attorney, 2) married almost 27 years, 3) 8 kids ranging in age from 3 to 21. If you don't tighten up your posts, this thread is not going to take you where you want to go.
Author Paragon Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 Great. One other comment on this and I'll let it go. First, here are my qualifications: 1) 19 years as an attorney, 2) married almost 27 years, 3) 8 kids ranging in age from 3 to 21. If you don't tighten up your posts, this thread is not going to take you where you want to go. I greatly appreciate those with experience. There are very few who actually have it, instead they just claim to. Let me ask you this: 'tighten up your posts'. Meaning what, Gorilla? If you mean lengthwise, I understand there are many people who don't like to read a lot. But if it's on a topic they CARE deeply about and are interested in, then they WILL take the time to read carefully. Those are the only people i'm trying to reach. What's the sense of trying to speak to someone who isn't willing to read something that seems too long or difficult to understand? Those are the same kind of people who won't get anything from it even if it was short and concise. In any case, if you can perhaps point to a specific example maybe illustrating exactly what you mean by 'tighten your posts' or 'you could use an editor' i'd like to hear and consider it.
GorillaTheater Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Yes, I did mean lengthwise; to attempt to make the posts more concise. But if you think there's a benefit to longer posts, then no problem. It's your thread. Sorry to sidetrack the topic.
sumdude Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 In any case, if you can perhaps point to a specific example maybe illustrating exactly what you mean by 'tighten your posts' or 'you could use an editor' i'd like to hear and consider it. You choice of shall I say "elevated" vocabulary is quite erudite on the outside but ask yourself about the audience you are writing to. It comes off as a bit elitist and so did this response. What's the sense of trying to speak to someone who isn't willing to read something that seems too long or difficult to understand? Using capitalization as syllabic emphasis is a neat idea but it actually makes it harder to read.
boldjack Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Well, Dude, You will think, what you will think. I've had a number of women, and have been married for a number of years. I still get "hit on", by women younger than me, and have had any number of offers for affairs. I guess I'll just keep doing what I do. It seems to be working, so far.:D
clv0116 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Is this a response to something I said or more/less a random thought on the topic of honesty? Agreeing and expanding on "Honesty ALSO means not omitting IMPORTANT information that your partner would want to hear." A disturbing number of people think that intentional deception without untruth is not lying.
Author Paragon Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 Well, Dude, You will think, what you will think. I've had a number of women, and have been married for a number of years. I still get "hit on", by women younger than me, and have had any number of offers for affairs. I guess I'll just keep doing what I do. It seems to be working, so far.:D Which is a GREAT example of a man who's NOT authentic You're defining manhood differently than I am. If those things happen, they're because of your own actions, and you clearly get your self esteem boosted by leading women on.
deux ex machina Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Agreeing and expanding on "Honesty ALSO means not omitting IMPORTANT information that your partner would want to hear." A disturbing number of people think that intentional deception without untruth is not lying. I agree. It really takes me aback when people do that. I back slowwwwly away once I find out someone is like that!
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