These girl who is obessed with me is making things really frustrating for me.

[Not the love ace]

Okay,

 

 

I made two post discussing a situation with a friend of mine who is deeply in love with me (her words NOT mine). I explained how at one point she couldn't be my friend because I wasn't interested in her romantically and how she stopped being my friend because she was "too in love with me and couldn't handle her emotions" and always got jealous when I made interactions with other girls. After the first time she did that, she made me seem like a real jerk and all my friends were against me thanks to her making it seem much more serious than it was. After a few weeks we spoke and she apologized for making me look like an A-hole and my friends finally got to understand me.

 

During that time (and more so before I might add) I was always walking on eggshells and taking her feelings into consideration making sure I don't hurt her. However, after a few weeks of reconciling she once again couldn't handle the pressure of being friends and decided to not be my friend anymore. She was having delusions of us being together and thought that I was in love with her when I clearly stated I wasn't. So in a nut shell she is obsessive and has gotten me a bit angry.

 

I got over it and this past Friday was the first time I seen her in about two months. I was at her and her roomies house for a party and was invited by her, herself. As long as me and her have no communication she was fine with me being there. I did not mind since I really wanted to see friends I had not seen in a while.

 

To get to the point though, there was other girls at the party and I was dancing with them and enjoying my time. This one girl (who's her friend) was there and was a little drunk and playful. During that time me and her friend made out, danced and at the end of the night just cuddled and made out.

 

She was obviously really jealous and pissed at the situation but I could not walk on eggshells. Whats really agitating me is that more and more of the girls that I see at the parties stay clear of me sometimes because she announces to the world that she's in love with me and out of consideration to her, they don't want to have anything to do with me. It makes me want to explode because I am not her's and I hate the fact that she makes it seem like she has a claim on me and no one can touch. When we have social gatherings, I feel like there's a sign that says "Don't touch, or bother with him because I like him and he's mind even though he's not interested in him I'll still be pissed and jealous".

 

I feel like this is really ridiculous and immature on her part, especially since she 23 years of age and needs to let go. We're not exes and never did anything. Now the girl that cuddled with me at the party more than likely won't even bother to look, or hardly talk to me because of this psycho babble! I'm not interested in the girl but I am attracted to her and I feel as if me and her want to do something we can and my admirer needs to back off big time.

 

Not too sound narcissistic but its hurting my "game" and chances with getting with any girl. Yet her friends bring some rather handsome men to mess with and do whatever she wants with them and yet she still directs her attention towards me thwarting any girl from hooking up with me. Now the girl who hooked up with me thinks I'm an A-hole and from what I hear is "pissed" that we even did what we did and thinks I was using her to get my admirer jealous. I know that girl is just trying to be a good friend but I need to get this monkey off my back.

 

I think I've been nothing but respectful and I truly see no reason why I should be walking on hot coal around her when she can do what she wants with other guys yet I have to be sensitive to her. I also think its unfair to the girls who might want to mess/hook-up with me (not that many if any do but still, its sucks). I know they're trying to be good friends to her but I think she is being selfish and needs to get over this already.

 

There's a Halloween party coming up and besides having a good time with my friends, of course I want to honestly see some girls I am interested in and hook up IF (and big IF) its possible.

 

I just came out of a rough relationship and I just want to mess around and when we're hanging out with our circle of friends she always messes things up for me.

 

What can I and should I do before I explode on this psycho babble.

 

P.S.: Sorry for some of the repetition.

[looking4 green grass]

Try meeting girls outside of your circle of friends. These other girls will have no knowledge of all the crazy drama following you around and she won't be able to run up to them and declare her love for you and scare them off.

 

I also would consider not introducing/bringing any new romantic interest around her for a while.

 

And when you do find a girl you want to be in a relationship with, you might want to give her the heads up on crazy girl before you start bringing her around your friends.

[Not the love ace]

I hear you.

 

I don't give her any romantic interest though. AT ALL. Its usually her friends who try and bring guys to distract her but she is on my ding-dang all the time.

 

However, I can only try and get girls from outside our circle of friends. You are correct and it makes sense. Its just the girl I messed with I had a little thing for and wanted to mess with her more but that seems to be completely ruined because of her now.

[freestyle]

For your own sake, and hers, I think it's time for you to be cruel to be kind.

 

You need to lay it on the line with this female "friend".

 

Let her know that you won't tolerate her sabotaging or undermining your romantic pursuits. A true friend wouldn't do that to you, they would be supportive and respect your decisions. Be very firm with her.

 

L4GG gave you some sound advice as well. Good luck to you.

[tigressA]

For your own sake, and hers, I think it's time for you to be cruel to be kind.

 

Precisely. You need to tell her that you do not like her; there will never be anything romantic between the two of you, and on top of that, you aren't going to be her friend anymore because she's such a psychotically obsessive, selfish person.

 

And I disagree with the advice that you should wait awhile before bringing any new love interest around her--that's just continuing to walk on eggshells. Sure, warn any girl you get involved with about this psycho, but don't continue to be afraid of hurting her feelings because she obviously has no consideration for yours even though she claims to "love" you. Trust me, keeping on with thinking about how she'll feel about/react to things will only make her think that there's hope for the two of you. She's obviously already interpreted it as you caring for her. So stop caring, period. And don't be afraid to speak up for yourself. Just because she may get to talk and "lay claim" first, that doesn't mean you can't come up with a rebuttal. Your words, backed up by your actions, should make people believe you and see her as the crazy girl she is. I also wish you the best of luck with this.

[Not the love ace]

Trust me, keeping on with thinking about how she'll feel about/react to things will only make her think that there's hope for the two of you. She's obviously already interpreted it as you caring for her.

 

Yeah, I actually had a conversation with her multiple times and let her know that I am not interested in her. She continues to believe otherwise and just recently I told her bluntly that she better not expect me to be bending over backwards for her. I just think she needs to get over it, it seems impossible to bang any sense into this girl.

[tigressA]

Yeah, I actually had a conversation with her multiple times and let her know that I am not interested in her. She continues to believe otherwise and just recently I told her bluntly that she better not expect me to be bending over backwards for her. I just think she needs to get over it, it seems impossible to bang any sense into this girl.

 

You really should just go full-on NC, forever. Maybe that'll bang some sense into her. Maybe you even talking to her at all, regardless of what you're saying, just keeps feeding the fire. So just quit talking to her; if she's ever around anywhere you go, ignore her. Just act like she doesn't exist anymore. If she has your phone number and tries to call/text, ignore her.

 

And I hate to bring up this possibility, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least if it happened--if she starts to really harass or even stalk you after you cut her out of your life, go straight to the police.

[Not the love ace]

Will do Tigress. I am cutting her out of my social circle and I am really going to act as if she's not there, in front or around me period. If worst comes to worst, I know what I will do.

 

Thanks again.