Lost and wanting on next

[eassy]

Hi everyone,

I am new to all these forum thingys but am looking for some outside advice.I will try and keep it short but feel i need to tell the story so you get a better picture.I have been with my wife for nearly 11 years and married for nearly 6 of them and also have a five year old daughter which i adore.

About 4 mths ago i realized i was pretty snappy with my family and didnt have alot of patience which found i was deppressed which i got help for.About 6 wks ago my wife had 2 of her friends around to our house for a couple of drinks as usual i took my daughter in the shower and sent her out to be dressed by her mother.When i left the shower my daughter was on our bed still wet and in her towel, so i went to my wife and said why havent you dressed her and she said she couldnt leave her friends by themselves so i had a go at her and said she needs to get her prioritys right.Anyhow when her friends left she came and said to me its either you go or i go, so i left as i wanted my daughter in the house.I went to my fathers place and was there for 3 1/2 weeks.In that space of time she had said she just needed a few days to her self.She invited me round for dinner a week after i left and i asked her about us and she lost it as she said she didnt want to talk about right now "give me a few days".Over the next week and a half i didnt say anything just normal chit chat.Over the next week she was having people over for drinks during the week and the organizing for a friend to pick up our child and take her to school which is literally 250metres up the road cause she felt like ****.I couldnt talk to her so i went to see her mother and then we went to a mutual friends bday and she totally ignored me all night.The next day was fathers day and i had it at my fathers with my daughter and brought her home in the arvo around 3pm and found my wife there with her bro and gf still drinking from the mutual friends bday the night before and she still was not talking to me and i asked what was going on and she said she doesnt love me anymore, so i said i am moving back home and not putting up with the way you have been treating me anymore.Ask her to talk about it and she runs away.She has since moved to her mothers with my daughter about three wks ago.The thing is up until that night with her friends we were up and down and still had a really good sex life that we were both happy with.I cut the bank accts of from her and what do you know now she wants to talk.Also i will say at this point that she doesnt work (which i didnt want her to while my daughter is at home) and when asked to earn a little money for us she answers with "i dont do work" but now my daughter is at school full time. I am still supporting her and my child with money every week (this is the last week then child support kicks in) But she is always here if she needs the money and thinks i am just going to keep feeding her with it as if we were trying to sort things out, but still getting no feed back from her. I am also getting mix signals from her like she wants to be in the house but me still pay everything and then i say that you said you didnt love me anymore and she says that i backed her into a corner with that.When i say to her that it is sad that we are going to throw ten years away she starts to cry and agrees but still doesnt want to discuss us and says she doesnt love me at the moment. I went out for dinner with her family and she spoke ok with me (no real convos as such) and when my meal arrived she didnt hesitate to just help herself and try my dinner before i could even start as we were still together.Just little things like that make me wonder if she really meant what she said, and maybe dug herself a hole which she doesnt know how to get out of as she is a very strong stubborn woman.I stiil love her very much and dont know what to do next,thought about sending her an email as we are both hurting and finding it hard to talk face to face.

Please help.

[Nomad1]

The best thing to do at this stage is 'nothing'. Get on with your work. Make yourself busy. Avoid all conversations about what happened. Keep it to a minimum. That's what I would do.

 

Nomad1