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Posted

It has been said that women act purely on emotions and men act mostly on rational. What do you think?

 

In my situation I believe that her emotions overtook her ability to act rational. Once she was at that point there was no turning back....

Posted

I think when my ex broke up with me he ignored his emotions and worked with his rationality - that we had problems he didn't feel we could fix. He claims to still love me but if thats true then clearly he could 'ignore' or override those emotions with his rational mind, which was telling him to leave me.

Posted

That's just an over generalization of the two sexes.

 

Everyone acts irrationally when they are overwhelmed by emotions. Ok, maybe it's most people rather than everyone...

 

It really depends on the situation and how it unfolded.

Posted
It has been said that women act purely on emotions and men act mostly on rational. What do you think?

 

In my situation I believe that her emotions overtook her ability to act rational. Once she was at that point there was no turning back....

 

I also think this is just generalizing. Both sexes has the ability to react on each thing. Do I think women naturally tend to go by emotions? Yes, I think that is what comes naturally. HOWEVER, there is also that little thing called wisdom and self control. Those with a sharpened sense of both, may feel emotional about something; but are capable of stopping and thinking about their actions.

 

Dusty, what your ex did was a complete and total display of lack of self control and lack of wisdom and maturity. Not every woman acts that way simply because they are "overwhelmed with emotion".

Posted

DustySaltus, your ex was...odd...someone who over-reacts, previous to getting facts. Perhaps she, as a lawyer, was entranced with her rightness?

 

I'd say this situation is less gender reliant and more individual foible attributed.

Posted
It has been said that women act purely on emotions and men act mostly on rational. What do you think?

 

In my situation I believe that her emotions overtook her ability to act rational. Once she was at that point there was no turning back....

 

 

Reminds me of the scene in "As Good as it Gets" with Jack Nicholson as the writer with OCD who is asked at his publishers office about his portrayal of female characters in his books.

 

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?

Jack: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountablility.

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Posted
DustySaltus, your ex was...odd...someone who over-reacts, previous to getting facts. Perhaps she, as a lawyer, was entranced with her rightness?

 

I'd say this situation is less gender reliant and more individual foible attributed.

 

 

I agree that it's based more upon the individual male or female. I'm just wondering how everyone else feels.

 

My ex had a couple of attributes that were very dangerous: rightness, pride and vindictiveness.

Posted
My ex had a couple of attributes that were very dangerous: rightness, pride and vindictiveness.
Everyone has elements of these three, in their personalities. It's how far you're willing to go with these elements, that makes them dangerous.

 

What she did to you was to freak out, when she thought you weren't 100% happy and then, she kept the ring. The first was over-reaction without giving you a chance to explain, the latter will be reliant on how society thus the legal system, views the engagement ring. Until you find out the latter as fact, you cannot know if she's deliberately vindictive.

 

So, in some ways, you're also acting on emotion v. rational behaviour.

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Posted
Everyone has elements of these three, in their personalities. It's how far you're willing to go with these elements, that makes them dangerous.

 

What she did to you was to freak out, when she thought you weren't 100% happy and then, she kept the ring. The first was over-reaction without giving you a chance to explain, the latter will be reliant on how society thus the legal system, views the engagement ring. Until you find out the latter as fact, you cannot know if she's deliberately vindictive.

 

So, in some ways, you're also acting on emotion v. rational behaviour.

 

The thing that was absolutely vindictive is when she tried to get me fired from my job. The ring situation is just something she wants to hang over my head to know she got the last word. She's not acting rationally in either case.

Posted

Not sure if this is true or not. Might be an element of truth in it. But now I am worried that I am putting all my rational thoughts in front of my emotional feelings. I am strict NC, because my head knows it is the right thing to do. Maybe I should listen to my heart more.

 

T

Posted

I think the roles were switched in my breakup. My ex was very cold, calculating and rational, whereas I thought we belonged together and should keep trying just because of the emotions I felt for her.

Posted

It's doesn't hold true in every case. It is the case for my wife and me, but opposite for some friends of ours.

 

My wife tends to argue from a purely emotional point of view, and the more she does, the more I argue from the non-emotional side. After about an hour of getting nowhere, I stop and give her a big hug. It usually solves the problem immediately, but leaves me with the desire to drive nails into my hand. :confused:

Posted
DustySaltus, your ex was...odd...someone who over-reacts, previous to getting facts. Perhaps she, as a lawyer, was entranced with her rightness?

 

I'd say this situation is less gender reliant and more individual foible attributed.

 

Absolutely correct and eloquently put.

 

This is one of those issues people like to separate and generalize by gender but I know some really emotionally driven men and some really rational women who make no decision based on emotions EVER.

 

It is completely individual.

Posted

IDK, I kind of disagree with most people disagreeing with Dusty. I've been with alot of girls, and I always tend to think with rationality and logic over emotion. Most of the women I dated (9 out of 10) I'd say acted purely on emotion. It's how it's worked out for or against my favor every time.

Posted
IDK, I kind of disagree with most people disagreeing with Dusty. I've been with alot of girls, and I always tend to think with rationality and logic over emotion. Most of the women I dated (9 out of 10) I'd say acted purely on emotion. It's how it's worked out for or against my favor every time.

 

We all have what we're attracted to. It sounds like you are attracted to a more passionate or emotional woman. ;)

 

My type of guy is more passionate as well. Those guys who aren't in touch with their emotions and deem themselves as "independent" or "logical thinkers" tend to not be whom I am attracted to either.

Posted
We all have what we're attracted to. It sounds like you are attracted to a more passionate or emotional woman. ;)

 

My type of guy is more passionate as well. Those guys who aren't in touch with their emotions and deem themselves as "independent" or "logical thinkers" tend to not be whom I am attracted to either.

 

That's probably the case. While I wouldn't say I am a "logical" thinker, I am definately in touch with my emotions. I just don't allow my emotions to deter me from making a choice I deem irrational, if you understand me. I'll tell you everything I feel, but I'll try to fix it in a logical manner.

Posted

DustySaltus: not sure about emotional vs rational. For me (a woman) it depends what the situation is. For example it's hard to do the "rational" thing if you're sad about something. How many people are good at NC until they see their ex with someone else? You know its the right thing to do, but it doesn't matter. If I saw someone drowning in icy water, I'd jump in (emotional?). The rational thing to do would be call 911 first, but I think most people (man OR woman) would jump in, too. I don't think there is really a right or wrong answer to this. And now I think I confused myself. Jheesh.

 

what's the deal with the ring? I'm coming into this thread only knowing bits and pieces, but did you give it to her on a holiday? Aren't you supposed to be able (LEGALLY) to get the ring back if the wedding never happened?

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Posted

what's the deal with the ring? I'm coming into this thread only knowing bits and pieces, but did you give it to her on a holiday? Aren't you supposed to be able (LEGALLY) to get the ring back if the wedding never happened?

 

I gave it to her at the end of March, it wasn't a holiday. I asked for it a few times she says that she's keeping it. I can pursue legal action if I want but at this point I'm just writing it off as much as it KILLS ME. I just can't play her game any more, i'm tired....

Posted
DustySaltus, your ex was...odd...someone who over-reacts, previous to getting facts. Perhaps she, as a lawyer, was entranced with her rightness?

 

:rolleyes::lmao:

 

If anything, as a lawyer she'd be fact-driven, and not overly sensitive.

 

So this woman is bizarre, indeed.

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Posted

My ex could be the most rational person in the world and the most emotional person in the world depending on what day you caught her.

 

But it was her emotions that tried to get me fired.

It was her emotions that told me to go F myself when I asked for her ring back.

 

....and it will be her emotions that catch up with her sometime in the near future when she thinks to herself, "You know, I messed up a real good thing because NO ONE was better equppied to deal with me than D".

Posted
I gave it to her at the end of March, it wasn't a holiday. I asked for it a few times she says that she's keeping it. I can pursue legal action if I want but at this point I'm just writing it off as much as it KILLS ME. I just can't play her game any more, i'm tired....

 

what a dirt bag. I would pursue it ESPECIALLY because she is a lawyer. She know better. It really wouldn't look to great for her, either. People in the legal community talk ;) My grandfather was a well known legal figure where I live and my mom always said "don't do anything that would embarrrass your grandfather".

 

She's a jerk and classless for playing like that. I don't care what kind of degree/ job she has.

Posted
My ex could be the most rational person in the world and the most emotional person in the world depending on what day you caught her.

 

But it was her emotions that tried to get me fired.

It was her emotions that told me to go F myself when I asked for her ring back.

 

....and it will be her emotions that catch up with her sometime in the near future when she thinks to herself, "You know, I messed up a real good thing because NO ONE was better equppied to deal with me than D".

 

Has she ever been evaluated by a mental health professional or facility?

 

Your ex seems to have one or more mental disorders and is not the norm or normal in any sense of the word.

Posted
That's just an over generalization of the two sexes.

 

Everyone acts irrationally when they are overwhelmed by emotions. Ok, maybe it's most people rather than everyone...

 

It really depends on the situation and how it unfolded.

 

Ditto....

 

You need to look at people individually especially with regards to relationships and not try to lump them in some pre-packaged category that may very well be false.

 

But all human beings are emotional and rational.

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