Heartbroken-idiot Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 So ok things changed again, she came over to collect her stuff yesterday, we ended up hanging out and getting quite close and then ended up making love a few times, she said after it was wrong and how we shouldn't but does this mean anything? Like we havnt been in a situation for 3 months when we could and the first time we end up in one we do and it was amazing to which she said. What should I do now? Just play it cool, don't bring it up and if it happens again let it? Does this mean anything for her feelings? She said this doesn't mean we'll get back together and I believe that but surley it shows something?
hoping2heal Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 It shows that both of you are out of control right now, is what it shows.
CaliGuy Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Yep and it shows neither of you respect yourselves very much. Sex with the ex: ALWAYS a bad idea. Unless of course, you feel having self-respect is a BAD thing. Then by all means, boink your ex as much as he/she wants.
Beeotch Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Based on my experience....sleeping with your ex is a bad idea. You see this right here, the confusion, you asking questions, asking if it means anything, even though she said it didnt etc....that is what comes out of it. Sex with the ex opens you up and makes you vulnerable to more hurt. You associate that sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy and emotional feelings when they are not the same. You read into things, you hope that it means they will want a relationship or they are still in love etc...when sometimes it just means sex or it is complicated for them too. They may not be willfully using you for sex but they might not be ready to commit and you get your hopes up bc of the sex then end up feeling betrayed, or expecting something etc. You should make decisions for yourself. Therefore YOU decide what you want, how you feel, what is right and healthy for you. DO NOT BE PASSIVE! You are being passive b saying should you just let the sex happen...you are not an object to be acted upon without any say. YOU determine what you will and won't do and why. I would suggest not having sex with your ex for all the above reasons...but if you choose to have sex with her...know what it means and doesn't mean and actually CHOOSE and make decisions..not just blow in the wind or allow yourself to be dragged along aimlessly.
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