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How do you make better choices for yourself?


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Posted

The thing that gets to me the most is that this is not my first heartbreak and I guess I'm really angry that I have to go through all this again. Single again, heartbroken again, all the motions and emotions, again.

 

I'm mad at myself for not making better choices. I knew in the back of mind from the very beginning that my most recent relationship wouldn't last forever (got myself mixed up a CP), but yet, for some reason, I stuck with it. Thinking it would all be okay - why did I let myself fall in love with someone who never loved me as much as I him? Is this low self-worth, or is it just a case of "you can't help who you fall in love with"?

 

Sometimes you just have to accept that life is not going to be easy for awhile, but I really really don't want to feel like this again.

Posted

I suppose it is about having low self-esteem. It seems like you didn't think you could find anyone better so you settled with what you had.

 

This is easier said than done, but improve yourself and get your confidence back.

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Posted

Yip, hard pill to swallow, but you're probably right. Time for some self-reflection. At the time I didn't feel like I was settling - he was everything I wanted in a man (except for the fact that he couldn't commit of course :o)

Posted

can it be that some of us are addicted to heartbreak?

 

i sometimes wonder that....

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Posted

Not really sure how I could be addicted to this kind of pain, what's the "high" in all of this?

 

Today I'm thinking it's just a case of you can't help what your heart wants.. think I need to start following my head instead.

Posted
I suppose it is about having low self-esteem.

 

I suspect that is a symptom but not the cause. The challenge is to figure out the cause and understand behaviors associated with it. Often it is a emotionally distant parent, who's love and approval we chased as a child, which encourage belief that this how love works. We continue that belief as we chase romantic love. While it is not rewarding or fulfilling, it is what we know. Making it, in a unhealthy way, a comfortable place to be. As a child we don't know better but at some point, if you want to give that up, it means leaving your comfortable place and behave in a new, scary and difficult way that ultimately will return healthier and happier relationships.

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