jikam82 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Does anyone have any advice on what to say to my Ex's family? We are almost through getting a divorce and I haven't really talked to them since the whole thing started. I really miss my Mother and Father in law. They are fairly catholic and I am not sure what they think about this whole thing. They tried to contact me once when it all started but I was too scared to talk to them. I was thinking about writing them a letter but am not sure what to say. What I am most concerned and heartbroken about is my Niece and Nephew...I miss them soooo much. They are 9 and 7 and I am unsure of how to explain this to them. I really want to write them a letter to tell them I still love them and will always be thinking of them. I don't have any children of my own...and am just not sure what to say in my letter to them. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks so much, Jess
Mixitup123 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Hi..I know how you're feeling. I wasn't married but I was with my bf for 4 years and we recently broke up. I miss his family, we used to have bbq's, get together and they became good friends with my parents. We even all moved abroad to where we live now. They knew what my ex (ha their son) is like and even told me he wouldn't be able to make me happy, and give me what I deserve, and I guess they were all right. When it happened, about 3 weeks ago, I send his mum a long email explaining what had happened between us, as I didn't want her thinking it was my fault, and blaming me, as, especially at the moment I am concerned about what they think about me. She sent me an email back saying, that there is no way she blames me, and she knows I have been a good partner and supportive and that I'm a good girl, and deserve someone better, who will love and respect me. That meant so much, it relieved the tension and pain. So I would recommend sending maybe his mum a letter first, either email or post. Hopefully you'll get the same reply I did. I don't know your circumstances etc etc, but it's worth a try, isn't it.
Auroracoladybug Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I think it would be a kind gesture to send a letter to your MIL and FIL explaining that you care deeply for them and have been scared to speak with them. For the Niece and Nephew I would write another letter to their parents and then send them each a card. If you and the ex are on fairly good terms then there should be no conflict of wanting to still be friends with the family...my sisters MIL even takes care of her ex's parents now in their old age (they have been divorced for apx 25yrs)...good luck to you!
phineas Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 It really depends on what happened. Why are you no longer with him?
PWSX3 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Don't know what happened but it is sad that a divorce effects so many more people then just the two that are married. My former wife still talks to my folks, or at least when she needs something. I don't know if talking in person or a letter would be better but I would guess it wouldn't be as bad as you think if they cared for you before. Seems like what we think in our head is usually worse then what really happens.....
dgiirl Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I tried talking to my inlaws when this all started. They put all the blame on me and were not supportive at all. I did not know at the time that he was cheating, and my mil said something along the lines of "Being a wife means you support your husband all the time. You have to make the home a pleasant place to live. No arguments. You always do what your husband wants of you. Otherwise, your husband will cheat on you". Seems like she knew her son very well.
Recommended Posts