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So I have been struggling with a relationship for some time and was hoping for some advice. Allow me to give the back story. We met at my previous job over two and a half years ago. We began dating and became very serious in a short period of time and told each other we loved each quickly. He originally told me that he was divorced and had children, however about three months in I found out that he was actually still very much married (he lived outside of the city so at first I never questioned his living arrangement). Clearly I was devestated by this information and it broke my heart. I had a difficult time dealing with the situation and struggled with not sleeping for some time. I began taking a sleep aid and to this day still struggle with my reliance on them.

 

After I found out he was married it was a difficult year with him trying to convince me to continue to see him, telling me that he loved me and wanted to be with me, etc. He had an unhappy marriage and admitted that he had cheated on his wife before. I should also note that he is about 15 years older than I am...so there is also the age difference that we had to contend with. I have never been married nor have any children of my own.

 

He kept promising to leave on a certain date yet that time would come and go and I continued to refuse to get into anything with him until he was not married. However, I worried about it constantly and suffered from anxiety and not sleeping. About a year later he finally moved out of his house and signed divorce papers. He told me he did all of this because he wanted to be with me.

 

Since that time he has wanted to try and start things up again. Because he is now divorced, I was willing to consider it, but I still struggle with a lot of what happened. His mom is also very sick right now and he has mentioned to me at times that he was upset that i was not "there for him" when he got his divorce and that he needs me to be there for him now. I dont really agree with this bc I should not have had to support him emotionally through a divorce when I didnt even know he was married when we met and I never would have become involved had I know that.

 

We have spent some time together but my trouble with anxiety and not sleeping has begun to resurface and I dont know what to do. I am very much in love with this man, but I feel as though I should be happy in a relationshiop and want to tell the world but I have difficulty doing that when most of my family and friends agree that it is not the right relationship for me.

 

I guess I am just looking for any advice any one out there might have. My instinct is to move on and try and get over this since I just dont think I can ever be comfortable with what happened, but another part of me very much loves this person and has a hard time imagining him not in my life. Appreciate any thoughts anyone might have. Thanks for listening.

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