Can someone clue me on some what goes through a persons head?

[transamb0y]

my GF dumped me about four weeks ago for reasons more on her side. She has a bad relationship with her parents and it ruined her mood and our relationship. i told her i am not sure if we could be friends still, so when she broke up with me she would like to be friends and that she would leave it up to me. i ran into her mom at the mall the day after she broke up with me. I asked her mom for some things i forgot at her house. her mom then called me the next day and said that she was mad at everyone cuz i did not ask her for the stuff. 3 weeks went by and i had NC and I was trying to find a the key to her house to give back and do a exchange. here is what she wrote:

"i know my mom asked you to call me about getting the stuff you forgot at my house and I've been very patient in waiting for you to do that, but it's been three weeks and it seems you have no intention of getting in touch with me so I'm doing it because I don't want to drag it out any longer. I found your CDs and several jackets of yours so let me know if there is anything else that you forgot here and what you would like me to do with it. I can mail it to you or leave it with one of your friends if that's easier. I'd also like our key back and I'm pretty sure that when you packed your stuff you accidentally took a pair of my work pants and I need them back so if you could give me back those two items that'd be great."

 

i replied with this which was true:

"thanks and I am sorry it has taken me so long, but I am having alot of problems right now. I also have been waiting to find my keys so I could give you back yours. I actually just found them yesterday. I will get them to you tomorrow or wed."

 

since i was hurt i had a friend do the exchange. he gave her her stuff and she gave him mine. he said she was pissed and asked how i was doing he said not good because of the stuff that had happened the past few weeks with her and some other personal things. she said she felt bad for me at first, but not so much now because i have been acting weird the past month. i haven't talked to her in like a month. then i checked my email the next morning and got this email from her:

"Thanks for giving me back my stuff but it would have been nice if you would have been mature enough and responsible enough to have told me you were giving my stuff to someone so I could approve who you gave, of all things, our house key to. Just so you know my mom was angry that you gave the key to someone she didn't know, and not only that but you didn't even tell him what he had in his possession, because it could have very easily gotten lost in that bag. If you have anything else at my house tell me now and if you find anything else of mine over at your house either keep it, throw it away, or tell ME about it but don't put my mom or anyone else in the middle of it again. I know you're hurt and I don't expect you to want to talk to me again but you can act mature about our stuff at least."

 

Honestly i think i have been pretty mature about the whole thing and doing my best to move on. i wrote a letter that i have not sent out yet telling her how i felt about her and it is all about our previous situations in our relationship we had and that i thought we could push through it. i have not sent it yet, but i am not sure if i will after this.

 

So the questions i am asking are:

Do you think i was wrong in the way i handled the situation?

What do you think her deal is?

Should i still send the letter?

[JaggedRoad]

I wouldn't say that you were wrong by handling the exchange and the rest of the break-up the way you did. Your ex probably wanted you to show more compassion or emotion, but you dealt with it the best way you could at the time.

 

Her deal? She was hurt... I don't know what else to say other than that. Most people are going to tell you to not send the letter, but do what you think is right.

[transamb0y]

should i at least call or email her mom and aplogize?

[transamb0y]

Can someone shed anymore light on this matter. also i am wondering if i should send the letter which pretty much states that i love her and care for her, and what i though we had in our relationship, what we went through. i am not trying to get her back, but get closure. i also put in the letter that i am not asking for a reply but if she feels the need to talk about it i will. any opinions to add

[edward-e]

im gunna agree with jagged road. you didnt really act immature or handle it bad. you handled it the best way u could. could u have asked her who she wanted you to give her the stuff...yes...but in the end you gave it to a trustworthy person and it got there in tip top shape so it doesnt matter. i think more than anything exs just want to see you during that break up period and know how u are responding to it. i think if you woulda went over there and been in a good mood and said "honestly i understand why you want to break up and i agree 100 percent" that prolly woulda went a long way. but u did what u thought was right. and in the end thats whats right for you. as for her deal...like i said earlier i think its honestly just the i still wanna see you and how can u just stop talking to me all together syndrome that dumpers get cuz they still wanna talk and be friends but w/e if you dont want that then who cares how she feels. shes not your friend or g/f so it doesnt matter. as for the letter, if you really wanna send it then its your choice. i myself wouldnt. not because of the typical response of "itll push her away" but because...if youre looking for closure the best closure to get is within youself. i myself would assume that sending the letter in the end isnt worth it because i already got my feelings onto paper or through my head and that in and of itself is closure.

[transamb0y]

i just want her to know my feelings since i did not get anything really out when she dumped me. There are some things that i was thinking of tellling her that i did that she might not know about like leaving the country with her if she wanted to move and that after our trip to see her GP (in another country where she is from) that i fell deeper in love and was thinking about marriage. I am unsure if that might change things but again it is so she knows and i know she knows. as for aplogizing i feel bad about making them angry bc that was not my intention, so i am thinking about that and wondering if i should apologize

[jovayd1]

I REALLY FEEL FOR YOU AND WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH!

IT'S QUITE UNFAIR AND FRANKLY YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

IF YOU WANT YOUR EX BACK,and never have to worry about relationship

problems ever again,

CLICK HERE

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Edited October 15, 2009 by jovayd1