Nikki Sahagin Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I'm not sure if this may come across as a little narcissistic but either way its troubling me, so i'm going to express it and hopefully people won't just assume i'm a self-obsessed attention seeker! One thing I REALLY miss about my ex and about being in a relationship generally for one, is the compliments. I miss someone telling me that I am beautiful. I miss someone noticing things about me that others don't; like the details of my eyes, or the little beauty spot I have on my cheek that most people never notice, or the way that I change the colour I paint my nails every few days. I know people say that men never notice these things but my ex always used to notice (not at the end but he turned into a p****). I miss the way that at the beginning I was so perfect and beautiful to him. I felt stunning and unique because that was what he thought of me and thats how he treated me. He complimented silly things about me like scars I had, moles on my arms, my elbows - things I would never even THINK about, and it used to fill me up with the most wonderful feeling of being accepted. That this person had seen every inch of me and had a million and one lovely things to say about me. It makes you feel beautiful and treasured. Now I guess I miss lying in someones arms and feeling head-to-toe loved, feeling that I am beautiful and unique to them, knowing they like things about me I never even noticed or don't even like myself. Since the break-up I'm actually looking better in my own opinion than I did when we were together; I had my hair done, brought a new wardrobe, I eat better and take better care of myself. We haven't seen each other since and I guess I want him to see me and see what he's missing. I know this is purely vanity. I also know there are a million women in the world that are better looking than me, but I also know to HIM I was once the most beautiful woman in the world....and I MISS being that to someone. I can compliment myself and feel good about myself, enjoy the compliments of other people, but I miss the way HE made me feel, the things HE said, the way he USED to treat me. Its like breaking an addiction. I guess I just want to feel beautiful to someone again. But not just beautiful, but like the most beautiful woman in the world - the way someone seems to you when you love them. I also want someone I can see that way, in case you think i'm incredibly self-centred! I remember watching him sleep, and thinking he was the most beautiful man in the world. His eyebrows, the way he's sometimes twitch in his sleep, scars, the little flaws - he was mine and I loved him. I want to look at someone and love every part of them and think they are beautiful, the way I felt about him. He had my favourite smile, the most beautiful eyes,...because I loved him...and I miss that. Someone that inspired me to write poetry, to fantasise about him holding our baby, knowing we could sit in a padded cell and i'd be happy and safe with him there, day dreaming about being with him even though I saw him every day - and thats what really hurts! All of those special things I want them back!
fabulous_chk Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 My solution to that was to go out, be fabulous, act fabulous, and people actually believed me LOL! I was strutting my stuff and yes, working it. Got all the validation I need from men and women. You don't need to be in a relationship to get these compliments, Nikki. Just go out, dress hot, keep smiling, be a happy person to hang out with.
logitech Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Since you are female you already have a head start.
splintered thing Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I'm glad to know somebody likes that kind of behavior. I naturally tend to be like that in relationships and it takes some fair amount of work to try to turn that kind of thing off (or at least keep it to myself). In my last relationship, though, anything like that would really piss off or gross out my partner, so I had to learn to cut it out (or at least shut up about it). But I feel better to hear that at least somebody thinks that kind of behavior is a positive thing.
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