jessicasilver Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Basically this is the second time round that my ex- boyfriend dumped me, so I feel crap but it does not hurt as much as the first timw round ! We decided to remain friends and spoke every single day almost every single second of the day ! So I didn't really miss him, just missed seeing him ! He arranged a few days to met up but on all occasions he let me down last minute and said he was busy or tired! So I decided to end the friendship with him and told him to never contact me or my family again! It hurt but I kinda let go a lot of my feelings when I did that ! Anyway, 2nd day of NO contact he contacted my brother and asked him if he wanted to meet up as he was bored ! 3rd day of no contact he contacted me and asked me how I was and said he still wanted to be friends and I was silly for stopping it! So we are back to being friends again ... Not that I'm happy about it! But when we are friends he loves to play mind games a lot which hurt me so I kep my distance this time round ! Last night we were talkin n he was being so sweet tellin me he missed out conversations and hugging and just a lot of things and I said I still can't see myself with anyone else BIG MISTAKE !!! Then I ask him if he could... He said YES but he doesn't know who! Which hurt a little bit (not like it used to ) then he said it might be you n I said no its not going to be me and the conversation ended there ! Do u think he is just saying them things to get a reaction out of me ? He done it b4, I don't know what to think anymore
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 It sounds like he's playing with your emotions. Somebody that really does care about you would not do this. It's sick and abusive. Quit talking to him, quit seeing him. You need the NC to get over him. Even if he contacts your brother - tell your brother you don't want to know about it. It'd be nice if your brother was supportive and told your ex to take a flying leap - his sister is trying to move on with her life.
Author jessicasilver Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 my brother doesnt even know we split up, its been almost a month but i havent got round to telling him and nor has my ex! i dont know whether he genuinely wants to just be friends with me or if his doing it because he still cares and wants another chance... his giving me mix signals but i dont think i ever will get back with him i will miss him dearly but after breaking up with me the second time round out the blue for no reason his not worth it !!! just hate being alone (getting used to it though) !!! he said to me yesterday the next girl he dates he will end up marrying her...this is when his 24! so his trying to say his not going to date anyone for years !!! (yeh right) then he asked me, i said im just going to go with the flow but would like to have someone soon !! why does he say stuff like that knowing we were together not long ago....is he really over me that quick
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Jessica - if he really wanted another shot, he'd ask for one. Not to mention that he has dumped you TWICE. Why would you want to get back with a guy like that? Trust me - there are great guys out there. Drop this loser and move on. He makes these comments because he's getting sadistic pleasure out of confusing you. He's trying to see if you're still into him because it gives him an ego stroke. Quit playing his game. You're going to really get hurt, hun.
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 If he is... then why are you allowing him to? No contact and cut him off, until he's serious and not hurting you with talk of doing other women and throwing it in your face, you got nothing to talk about!
hoping2heal Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Basically this is the second time round that my ex- boyfriend dumped me, so I feel crap but it does not hurt as much as the first timw round ! We decided to remain friends and spoke every single day almost every single second of the day ! So I didn't really miss him, just missed seeing him ! He arranged a few days to met up but on all occasions he let me down last minute and said he was busy or tired! So I decided to end the friendship with him and told him to never contact me or my family again! It hurt but I kinda let go a lot of my feelings when I did that ! Anyway, 2nd day of NO contact he contacted my brother and asked him if he wanted to meet up as he was bored ! 3rd day of no contact he contacted me and asked me how I was and said he still wanted to be friends and I was silly for stopping it! So we are back to being friends again ... Not that I'm happy about it! But when we are friends he loves to play mind games a lot which hurt me so I kep my distance this time round ! Last night we were talkin n he was being so sweet tellin me he missed out conversations and hugging and just a lot of things and I said I still can't see myself with anyone else BIG MISTAKE !!! Then I ask him if he could... He said YES but he doesn't know who! Which hurt a little bit (not like it used to ) then he said it might be you n I said no its not going to be me and the conversation ended there ! Do u think he is just saying them things to get a reaction out of me ? He done it b4, I don't know what to think anymore The bigger question here is WHY do you put up with it? Why do you let someone so hurtful into your life and choose to spend time with him? You will never be loved and cherished and adored by a man who doesn't appreciate you, and unless you only let in those who DO appreciate you into your life; you will be missing out and continue to be hurt again and again.
D-Lish Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 Who is in control here- him or you? If he's treating you badly, it's because you allow it to happen. A simple solution to the problem is to cut him off and move on. Someone can only treat you badly if you let them.
Author jessicasilver Posted October 1, 2009 Author Posted October 1, 2009 Your all right, his very manipulative it was only yesterday he told me he missed me a lot and wanted a hug and asked if we could met up and once again I feel into his trap and said yes to him and once again he let me down ! But today I took control he was being really rude and telling me to shut up and everything is my fault so I said '' ok I'm really busy at the moment so I speak to u soon'' and let it at that ! He hasn't writtem to me all day and I assume his waiting for me to say something but I won't ! I'm going no contact ! Its about time I look out for myself I just want to be happy again !!
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