bluestraps Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Here it goes. With my EX girlfriend .... woman for long time. WARNING..... Not our first split Not the first time we split, this is number 4. Recently over last few months she has been telling friend of 18 + years about our problems as she is also friends with him. He is understanding and not the kind to try to fix things . Well anyway for some time I think he is a user but I still trust him anyway. I did all kind of things for him over the years. for a long time everything was fine . she had no cares for him at all I should give a background on the girlfriend and my relationship. For the most part we were a team!!! a long relationship means a lot of feelings and experences togther. we were and I think still in love but as time goes by things get in the way . I do things wrong and she is not very stable emotionaly all the time and also does things wrong but we are 50 50 at fault .. I made a few fatal mistakes recently I think that could' ve been over looked but you all know women ,, Some of you reading this are women... LOL In the past when she doubts us She cheats on me to try to get rid of me thinking I wont take her back ,kind of her way of getting out of the relationship which is not healthy for either of us . And thinks the new guy is going to be with her but she finds out that she gets used. So I get in the way because i know these guys are no good!!!! and we get back togther or I take her back and for time we rebuild and are happy. It seems she does not understand that it is like starting over ,,, learning to trust and all that. so here is the new situation. She starts having crush on my friend because they have some disfunctional stuff and some interests in common . I dont think he understands what going on at first. But I think he is kind of eyeing her anyway Well . we still cary on talking doing the same stuff as if no problem. Well i guess i have to admit I was wondering about all this as we all hang out togther and I thought I had it under controll. Well It happened again she cheated on me with my friend ....... She somehow aranged for friend and her to meet up and supposedly he didnt know we were'nt broke up yet so they did it. And now They THINK .... they are loving each other. I have talked with them and it was pretty bad. Now I believe this relationship should not be because the guy is a loser and not equiped to be in this relationship. After all Its not entirely his fault, but He should have """""HAD MY BACK""""" and tried to be a little helpfull to me and the girl instead of taking advantage since he knows about all of our problems. Now i have been NC for a while and AM woried because there is not cut and dried way to figure out how to split these two up because I still care and to me the guy is a USER and probably could be swayed if given the right circumstances. Generaly I think we can solve the problems because I am flexable and we have done so in past. But it takes her too . I think we are good match. We did have fun togther and i think we could live togther well as married couple and most importantly we were like best friends too or so i thought But she did this again and I either must wait for her to contact me she may realize what a mistake this is or I gotta do something before this gets too serious What should I do ? Does anyone have suggestions besides NC and wating!!! I feel like iI need just to get in there make her see what he is and that it would be a mistake for her to take this schmuck. I think the guy is not serroius, he may just be using and eventualy they will have a sucky relationship/Marriage I cant let that happen I care too much. I also feel dumb because i feel as I let this happen. And all he had to do was just do nothing and she fell in his lap.OR as if I took her right to him I am perplexed
Maoky Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I don't want to hurt you any further, but you are idealising her, and I think, no wait, I KNOW you deserve better. She's cheated on you and every single time you get back together. Is it really worth it? Doesn't seem like a good match to me. And you didn't 'let' this happen. She chose what to do with her life, that's her problem. You definitely deserve better than someone who keeps cheating on you.
DustySaltus Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 She cheats on me to try to get rid of me thinking I wont take her back ,kind of her way of getting out of the relationship which is not healthy for either of us. Did she tell you that she didn't want to be with you anymore and then sleep with him? I don't understand, if she didn't tell you why would you ever want to be with someone like that anyway. You need to have some self respect at that point. I still care and to me the guy is a USER and probably could be swayed if given the right circumstances. So what are you going to do, give this guy money to buy drugs and hope he screws himself up so bad that he's not in the picture anymore? That's not the way to go AT ALL. I think this girl is VERY bad news and doesn't know what she wants for HERSELF let alone what she wants out of a relationship. Either cut the cord no and move on or subject yourself to months or maybe years of uncertainty and heartache. The choice is yours....good luck.
Author bluestraps Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 I should say when i say USER what i mean is, one time the ex asked me do you think he uses people And I said maybe. This guy apparently is not my friend and never was I think because he knew we were having problems he knew it was a matter time when my EX would end it with me and I bet he never thought she would seduce him, which is what happened .Furthermore, We were having problems anyway , but see the ex thinks she loves him and he thought we were boke up already Im just saying if my friend would have thought about it then he could have talked to her and tried to help us because his doesnt get how she kind of used him too
Author bluestraps Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 No. She told some people the day before , she lied.......and then the cheating happened the same day . on the next day before our usual time togther she called me and told me i am now with ......we spent the night togther.just like that ..... then all hell broke lose..... a lot of he said /she said going on.
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