4givrnt4gtr Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Today as I was watching my favorite show, my cat jumped in my lap and gave me the sweetest kitty hug ever. I purred right back at her, and hugged her.....and it hit me I am going to end up being the crazy old spinster with the cats. Since even before my last relationship ended I felt like if that relationship didnt work, I was going to end up alone. It occurred to me that just like it happened with my boobs. When I was little I wanted to have boobs...cuz that meant i was a woman. For a while I fretted about it but then after a while I figured, "oh well, its bound to happen at some point. I HAVE to get boobs, afterall, I AM girl..." so i stopped worrying. Lo and behold...i have no boobs. They never really grew. So, Im thinking its gonna be the same story with a loving relationship. I always imagine that it's gotta happen...right? i mean come on.....but what if it doesnt? what if im just not meant to have that either? It saddens me a bit....sometimes though I feel like its not that bad. It means traveling whenever and wherever I want. A big house if i want it, big dogs, my kitty, the works... Then I was listening to my favorite show...and the main character feels like she will never be loved so she focus so much on her career...not knowing that her partner loves her. (BONES!!!! ) Then later i was watching something else and it was the same story, heroin feels she will never be loved, all the while the man she loves loves her back. I mean i know its movies and stuff...but it got me thinking...is that thought normal? That we wont find someone who loves us?? I wonder how many of us thought that and it actually came true....
marlena Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I am going to end up being the crazy old spinster with the cats. There are worse fates than this. Not finding love is a very definite possibilty as is finding it. It may or may not happen. There are people in this world who never found love or found it and lost it and never found it again. This is just the way things are. All of us will eventually wind up alone. One partner will die first, the kids will grow up and leave home, your siblings and friends will have their own lives to live. This is just the way things are. I hope you do find someone special but even if you don't, life can still be amazing for you if you just keep the door open for new experiences and adventures in your life. What is important is to live well, with or without a partner.
splintered thing Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 ...life can still be amazing for you if you just keep the door open for new experiences and adventures in your life. What is important is to live well, with or without a partner. Yep, you could miss out on everything if you spent your days waiting for a partner or worrying over whether one will show up. Flying solo gives you as many options in life as having a partner does...probably more. If you spend your time getting the most out of life, then you'll have done wonderful things whether you had someone else along for the ride or not.
D-Lish Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 You can either fear or embrace the notion of being alone. I've come to embrace it. Meeting someone that blows me away happens so rarely- I've reconciled with the fact that I won't ever fall in love or marry again. I'm truly okay with that realization.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 ahhhh so it is more common than i thought....awesome. Ok...well I dont want to end up alone....so thats a problem.... I already didnt get the boobs, at least I should get a family!!!
D-Lish Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 ahhhh so it is more common than i thought....awesome. Ok...well I dont want to end up alone....so thats a problem.... I already didnt get the boobs, at least I should get a family!!! I've come to learn that there is an element of danger involved when you "don't want to be alone". You're in danger of settling for something less than stellar- and that is born out of that fear. I dated a guy for a year that I shouldn't have been with, but I stayed with him because I was prepared to settle. He's actually the guy that brought me to loveshack many years ago. I am happy with just me and my dogs.
Pedigree Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I mean i know its movies and stuff...but it got me thinking...is that thought normal? That we wont find someone who loves us?? I wonder how many of us thought that and it actually came true.... Would age have something to do with resorting to this thinking? As a 21 year old single guy, I've never thought that I'll be alone. If I was 45 and single on the other hand...
Trimmer Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Just do the steps that you've been shown By everyone you've ever known Until the dance becomes your very own No matter how close to yours Another's steps have grown In the end there is one dance you'll do alone Jackson Browne - For a Dancer This song still gives me the same chill it did 30 years ago when I was a teenager.
D-Lish Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 In the end there is one dance you'll do alone Is this a death reference????
lord alfred douglas Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Is this a death reference???? I thought he was talking about having a wank
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 Would age have something to do with resorting to this thinking? As a 21 year old single guy, I've never thought that I'll be alone. If I was 45 and single on the other hand... hahaha no.... ive heard its called quarter life crisis....Im in no rush to get married right now...but i do want to get married eventually and have children..... I guess it has to do with fantasizing about all that with my ex and then watch that evaporate into a whole lot o' nothin'.
Trimmer Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Is this a death reference???? Yeah - it can be hard to pin down literal meanings in some of his stuff, but I think this one is pretty clear. This song is an odd mixture of sad and beautiful, and yet uplifting, all at the same time. Google for the lyrics. It's one of my favorites.
TaraMaiden Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I think most people are missing the fact that even with someone, you're already alone - if you're doing it right. Being Alone is different to Being Lonely.
JohnP82 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 On nights like this yes. Night out at a bar, roommate has another ONS, I'm going to bed alone.
TaraMaiden Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 ....And what's stopping you from having a ONS?
Pedigree Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I get the impression that the said friend is having the ONS on the bed next to him as he typed his post. At which point I sympathize with his sentiments.
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 End up? Im already there. The fatties don't even want you, huh?
C-i-C-u Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 The fatties don't even want you, huh? maybe he or she is the fatty. I have a girl interested in me and I don't know about her. She has no boobs like the OP. So I feel that by dating a no boob girl-and shes short-I will be dating a boy....a little boy.
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 maybe he or she is the fatty. I have a girl interested in me and I don't know about her. She has no boobs like the OP. So I feel that by dating a no boob girl-and shes short-I will be dating a boy....a little boy. Negative. My comment was directed at OpenGL (not the OP), who has stated that he is in top-notch shape, but is going to resort to dating "fatties" because he can't get anybody his own caliber.
pandagirl Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Being Alone is different to Being Lonely. Exactly! When I actually feel "lonely," I feel needy for some form of validation or comfort. However, as individuals, we should be able to fulfill ourselves -- to feel wholly and complete on our own/ We are never alone. We are always alone. It guess it just depends on your perspective of things.
espec10001 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 If you have faith in God then you are never alone. As a man, I fully understand that no woman will ever make me feel anything but what I am. My purpose on this Earth is to do what God commands me. I will clearly state that I have nothing against women, I enjoy talking with them and they are the most beautiful things this Earth has to offer. But all appearances are deceptive, and the Earth is a feminine world. To truly understand women you must truly understand the world. Female is the manifested force, this physical world, what you see, what you hear, what you taste, touch and smell. All of this is Her. Male is the unseen force, the force that is unmanifested, incomprehensible in that you cannot sense Him with the five common senses. Him and Her are Equal. (Yin and Yang).
OpenGL Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 The fatties don't even want you, huh? Actually they do, I just don't want them.
TaraMaiden Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 If you have faith in God then you are never alone. As a man, I fully understand that no woman will ever make me feel anything but what I am. My purpose on this Earth is to do what God commands me. I will clearly state that I have nothing against women, I enjoy talking with them and they are the most beautiful things this Earth has to offer. But all appearances are deceptive, and the Earth is a feminine world. To truly understand women you must truly understand the world. Female is the manifested force, this physical world, what you see, what you hear, what you taste, touch and smell. All of this is Her. Male is the unseen force, the force that is unmanifested, incomprehensible in that you cannot sense Him with the five common senses. Him and Her are Equal. (Yin and Yang). Your post is self-contradictory and makes no sense.
aerogurl87 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I used to fear I'd never get married after I broke up with my first real boyfriend about two years ago. Then one day it hit me, like an epiphany! I was so happy without him, without anyone really. I could go where I wanted to go, do what I wanted to do, all without having anyone to hold me back. So I just went out there and lived my life happily until I met my most recent ex who messed that all up. But even through that I wasn't willing to settle for second best and I knew that whether I found Mr. Right or not I was going to live my life to the fullest and enjoy every moment. It was kind of like that U2 song that says "I'm good with or without you".
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