9blackpoppies Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I think I am courting my former professor, but I'm not quite sure. This summer, I started emailing her about some stuff I wanted to learn concerning my major outside of school. We met a few times during the summer to talk about math (math is my major) and she met me on her own time, not during office hours. I am a part of the work-study program at my school and she wrote me a recommendation so I could get hired as a tutor. I work in a chocolate shop, and I had a hunch that she liked chocolate, so I got her some as a "thank you" gift, however thinly veiled. I actually did it beause I like her. I've had her for two classes and have liked her since she first walked into the classroom. She's really quirky...and so am I. A few times I noticed her straight-up staring at me in class. Shortly after I gave her the chocolates, she gave me her private email address, citing that her bosses can and maybe do read her school email...I thought that was weird because she didn't have to mention the last part about people reading her emails. There seems to be some sort of inference there. I never said anything about her giving me her private account, but I started using it to email her instead of the school account. One day, I emailed her about something I thought she'd like to see online, based on the links she has on her personal webpage. It was an admittance on my part, that I check her site....and she got rather chatty with me after that. I think we emailed back and forth about 15 or 16 times that day. The next day, I was on my lunch break and it was nice outside so I went to go sit out there. I was sitting there and she walks up behind me, apparently she was just getting off work. She sat down next to me and we chatted for a little bit, but then she had to get going and so did I. As we parted ways, there was deliberate eye contact, I'm pretty sure, that lingered for a bit. I decided to email her and ask her if she wanted to hang out and do math with me and one of my friends sometime. (I am a nerd.) She said she'd like to take me up on that offer...but whenever we were all supposed to hang out, she'd cancel. After she cancelled a few times, I told her that my friend was going out of town for a bit and couldn't meet up to do math for some time. It was then that she decided she wanted to hang out. Alone with me, it would seem. So we met at a coffee shop, she had exams to grade and I did homework. We had some awkward conversation, learned a bit about each other...we were nervous. But we are both math people, and lacking a bit in social skills...so I don't know if that counts. I also noticed her staring at me/studying me...she didn't really try to hide it. When she got done with her exams, we paid the bill and she tried to figure out how I was getting home, because I think she wanted to go the same route, because it was dark out and we live in a major city. I told her I was going to walk and she just kind of started walking with me. We walked the mile or so up to where I live and after learning that she lives 4 blocks away from me, I asked her if she'd like me to walk her home. She said yes, since I was offering. I walked her to her street and awkwardly said goodbye. I actually waved...I should have hugged her or something. So we are hanging out again next Sunday...I am not sure what we're doing, if we'll stick to math or do something else. Am I courting her? I think I am...but like I said above, neither of us have the best social skills... I really like her though. In the time it took me to walk 4 blocks, she'd already emailed me to tell me she had a good time, and would I like to do the whole thing over again next weekend? Only this time without exams to grade...
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Simple answer is yes. But do you think it's wise? If you're still going to a school that she teaches at, that can bode very ill for her. I'd do my best to keep it platonic until you're out.
Author 9blackpoppies Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 I think the only big rule at my school is that I can't take any of her classes since we are now "familiar" with each other. And I'm transferring next semester anyway.
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I think the only big rule at my school is that I can't take any of her classes since we are now "familiar" with each other. And I'm transferring next semester anyway. Then it would be wise to wait until next semester. Just sayin'. It's not about what "rules" there are - it's gray area and if you truly care about her, you wouldn't want to put her through the gossip she'll have to deal with if you two get together - unless you plan on hiding it and hiding it very, very well.
Author 9blackpoppies Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 I don't think there's much of an issue. I don't even see her at school...like I said, neither of us have the best social skills and she's rather like me in the fact that while at school, she keeps to herself. I keep to myself. I don't visit her at her office and don't plan on doing so. We've run into each other that one time and that's it. But, I think if I am in fact courting her, it will be a long process--again, citing the social skills aspect and the fact that we are both incredibly awkward and shy. It will probably take all semester anyway... I just wanted confirmation/opinion that I am indeed courting her. I'm kinda dumb about women. I have to be hit with a brick to know that something is going on. Thank you for the advice!
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