ccashew Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 So I met this girl a couple months back, and instantly clicked. Anytime we were in the same room we spent every minute together. Nothing happened and for good reason, she has a serious boyfriend. The bf just moved halfway across the country to start graduate school that will keep him there for 4 years. I would always talk to her every once in a while in between seeing her, but the day he left, that intensified and I was talking to her through email and texts throughout the day, everyday. That lasted a little over a week. The next time I saw her, it went from running an errand, which turned into dinner, which turned into drinks. I decided I had to tell her how I felt and did. As I expected, it got a little awkward, didn’t talk to her for a little over a week. Then I reached out, and we talked a little more sporadically and with noticeable distance. Saw her about a week and a half after we started talking again, was awkward at first, but when she saw I was acting normal, she started to also. This was about a week ago, we aren’t talking daily, but back to the level and tone it was before the Boyfriend left, which I am ok with. My question is this… I know (think) the right thing to do is leave the ball in her court and don’t go chasing after ways to see her or become desperate for attention, but the only time we really start a conversation is when we have something specific to tell that person, then a conversation evolves. I don’t know when the next excuse to talk will come up and don’t want to ask the random ‘what are you up to this weekend’ type question, because we have never had that kind of relationship in the past. Outside that 1 errand we ran together, I have only seen her when it’s some kind of event like a birthday or happy hour (I have become friends with her group of friends... met them the same time as her. Otherwise we have absolutely no mutual friends). I want to know how I can ensure we stay in touch without seeming pushy or overeager. I still don’t know what she is thinking about how she feels towards me. The fact that she is still talking to me and that I don’t think she told any of her friends about it is a positive sign (and if she did tell them, they reacted well towards it). I think she either feels the same way or doesn’t even know herself. My first thought was that if she does feel anything, she will reach out to me, but looking from her point of view, even if she did feel that way, she may hold back, feeling it was wrong to do that with the bf still in the picture. I don’t want to this to slip through the cracks and just drift apart. I am in my late 20s and have honestly never felt this way towards anyone. While I am still open to meeting other people and not having this hold me back, I refuse to forget it and ‘move on’. Neither of us are the cheating type and I will gladly wait on the sidelines… I just want to know how I can make sure I am still there when that opportunity arises
Art_Critic Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 she has a serious boyfriend. Your answer lies in this little piece of text... You walk away.. leave her to have a relationship with her BF.. Don't become her friend.. once friendzoned you cannot recover from that. Leave her alone.. if she calls you one day and tells you that she is available then your on..
aerogurl87 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Your answer lies in this little piece of text... You walk away.. leave her to have a relationship with her BF.. Don't become her friend.. once friendzoned you cannot recover from that. Leave her alone.. if she calls you one day and tells you that she is available then your on.. I couldn't agree more. She has a serious boyfriend (not some little fling) and for women, they don't give up on relationships that easily for the most part. Not when they have alot invested into them, so either 1) you let her be and wait for her to come around (if she ever does) or 2) you become her "guy friend" and never have a chance in hell of becoming more than that to her.
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