at.a.crossroads Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I'm 22 years old and I've been with my husband for 5 years, 3 of those married, but I've known him a lot longer. He's always been a great guy. But recently he seems to have changed. I know he loves me and he usually supports me in everything. He's funny and I can talk to him easily. I have real difficulty seeing him as a bad person. I think he's a great guy overall! But I've been noticing subtle changes in him over the past few years that have become very noticeable within the past few months and they seem to be getting even worse. I don't know what to do. I've been thinking it's his job since he's under a lot of pressure and he's on the road a lot. When I talk to him about it he says everything is the same. But lately we've been fighting all the time about everything! I'm also growing concerned about his increasing anger level. There's been a few times recently where he's actually hurt me and when I ask him about it he just says he was playing. The scary thing is the situation usually starts as us just messing around and then it turns serious in the blink of an eye and I end up getting hurt. He always says its reflex or something, but the reflexes just seem extreme to me. But sometimes I think he's right since it's never too serious. But he use to be so gentle. He's also begun to say some degrading things about me and my physical appearance, no matter how modest I dress. I know he talks differently with the guys but I'm not one of the guys, I'm his wife. It concerns me that he is unable to make this separation. I'm very concerned because these things are happening so early in to our marriage and they are things I never noticed before we got married. His anger flares up so quickly, which is un-nerving since we've been talking about having kids. Most recently he hurt my wrist and its made me wonder if I shouldn't leave him in order to protect myself and I get hurt worse. But when I think about him, why I married him and all that I love about him I just can't see him ever hurting me that badly. But I can't help but wonder. Our communication is breaking down too. When I try and talk to him about my concerns he says I'm imagining things. But I don't think I am since pain is difficult to fake. He's changed some how and I'm not sure how to get him back. We've tried counseling several times and it didn't go very well. I have no idea what to do! I feel like this is some kind of crazy crossroads in my life but I'm not sure what I'm deciding between or what path to even consider. I know I just can't keep living like this and I can't keep doing it if things get worse.
feelrealempty Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Honey pls realize your worth more than this and get away before its too late... Atleast get away until he decides to talk couseling seriously, Its too early you are too young and this IMO sounds like a thing that will only get worse if you dont stand strong. Im on the opposite side being emo abuse and I stuck around so long I think Ive lost myself. If I had gotten out at 22 I wouldnt be here right now... Sounds to me like you need to talk to someone close to you and let them know whats going on with the situation so someone knows.... Have you talked about his hurting you in front of a counselor? Does your family know?? If not pls tell them ASAP someone hurting you is not something to play with...... So sorry your going through this right now.............
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