Peaceandlove Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I've been seeing my BF for 5 months now and he has been very attentive, affectionate and loyal for all this time. We were planning on going on holidays together, but something came up and I couldn't make it. He had already gotten days off work so he needed to find alternative holiday plans...so decided to go off to Miami (from europe) for a week with a friend of his from college (not too close a friend but relatively close). This guy friend is single.. I'm not too happy about this and feel that if he trully respected me he would not go somewhere with sooo much temptation (mind you, I've never visited the place so I wouldn't know- I can only imagine) Granted there is time difference but he is not keeping in touch the way he said he would...I'm not pushy in this respect but I rather want to see how he would keep in touch without me nagging him. What do you guys think? Anyone been to miami and seen it first hand? Is it as bad as I picture it in my head? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
New Again Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Your imagination is pretty much always worse than the reality. Link to post Share on other sites
ashleigh422 Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Seriously.. how many times.. when you were single did you go to a bar and think.. im gonna get hit on.. I look soooo good. And then nothing.. or one lonely guy.. lol It is WAY worse in your imagination. THe girls are hot.. yes.. But they are no more slutty than the girl at the local bar.. who your BF stays away from.. At least, that is what I think.. don't worry.. it seems like you guys have a nice thing going.. he wouldn't put that at risk.. if he does, then he doesn't deserve you. BUT.. don't be mad at him for going.. otherwise, you will be the loser... Link to post Share on other sites
Hkizzle Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I've been to Miami. Yeah the night scene is very good. However, there are hot girls and good night scenes everywhere in the world (except maybe Afghanistan). Don't over think things or you'll go crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
likestolaugh Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 you sound very possessive. Hopefully you don't come across this way in real life, and it's just this post... Link to post Share on other sites
New Again Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 On top of what's already been said/my first response, I know you think your bf is all that and a bag of chips, but do you seriously think the super-hot model types with fake boobs that you're imagining would really go for you bf? Link to post Share on other sites
lord alfred douglas Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 What do you guys think? Anyone been to miami and seen it first hand? Is it as bad as I picture it in my head? Thanks If he knows where hes going and he stays away from the massive ghettos in Miami he'll be fine Im sure, but its sweet of you to be so concerned for him. In fact the Latin girls love European guys and will treat him like a king, so dont worry about him Im sure he'll have a great time Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Dont reflect your distrust of your ex's on this guy. As soon as you tell him you cant trust him, you will push him away. Work on your self esteem, issues. If you dont think youre good enough for him, you got some self searching to do. Link to post Share on other sites
yongyong Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 first of all ,I am a guy (not trying to defend fellow female) your reply is BBS (best bull sxit) What the **** self-esteem has to do with this? (you mean she needs to have the attitude something like 'I am the best girl he would ever met, how can he cheat on me. even he does, I can bang any guys I want to' ) If he goes to a place with full of hot girls in mini dress, well he is not gay right? so you can imagine what might happen. any girl in decent relationship should worry for this kind of situation. all you can do is to trust him though Dont reflect your distrust of your ex's on this guy. As soon as you tell him you cant trust him, you will push him away. Work on your self esteem, issues. If you dont think youre good enough for him, you got some self searching to do. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I'm not too happy about this and feel that if he trully respected me he would not go somewhere with sooo much temptation The notion of respecting you isn't the real issue here- it's your lack of trust in him. There is temptation everywhere, and if your bf is going to cheat he doesn't really need to go on vacation to do so. From everything you've said about him he's been a good bf so far. I don't think it's disrespectful for him to go on vacation while in a relationship. That doesn't mean you don't have a right to your feelings- I'm sure it would bother me a bit as well. But, it's a big leap from going on vacation to being a cheater. I think you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. The cooler you are about him doing this, the more he will respect you. No one wants to feel like they are restricted from doing things when they get into a relationship. If you give him a hard time about this he may begin to resent you for it. You certainly don't want your bf to leave for vacation with resentment- you want him to go feeling good about you and good about the relationship. The bottom line is that if he has designs on cheating, he's going to do it regardless of the scene. You can't shield your partner from temptation 24 hours a day, it's just not realistic. I say give him your blessing, if he hasn't broken your trust thus far, let him go with your trust. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Peaceandlove Posted September 30, 2009 Author Share Posted September 30, 2009 In fact the Latin girls love European guys and will treat him like a king, so dont worry about him Im sure he'll have a great time is this english humour? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Granted there is time difference but he is not keeping in touch the way he said he would...I'm not pushy in this respect but I rather want to see how he would keep in touch without me nagging him. If he promised to call you so many times while he was away, and is not living up to that, then I can understand some of your axiety. It doesntt mean he is cheating but I would feel disrespected by that as well. Of course, you have to ask yourself if your request to keep in conact as much as yuo like while he is away is resonable. Also, since this was a trip that he planned because you and him couldn't go away, as orginally planned, I would doubt that his plan is to go shack up with other women in Mami. I would have been a little more apprehensive myself if he was planning a Guy's vacation and said "no you can't come". I think it's normal to specualte what could be going on and sucks to know the person we care about is going to a very social sexually charged scene. It doesn't mean he is behaving badly but he is probably not behaving how he would if you were around. And obviously, that's normal to make any girl think twice. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Yes, I've been to Miami. Yes, there are extremely attractive women. Yes, there are extremely attractive men. Yes, there are coyote ugly people too. Yes, the vast majority of people fall between extremely attractive to coyote ugly. Do these demographics sound familiar? Possibly just like home? If you don't trust your b/f enough that he can't keep his paws off women when you're not around, you might as well dump him before he goes on vacation. And no, I'm not being facetious. This is serious advice since the only two guys I didn't trust, weren't trustworthy. One cheated, the other was a "grass is greener" type. Unless this is something that you battle with every, single guy you've ever gotten involved with, listen to your gut instincts. Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Just wait until he is sleeping, and then give him a massive acid burn across his entire face. He can't cheat if he's so hideously disfigured that nobody will touch him! Problem solved!! Link to post Share on other sites
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