CallMeKizzy Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 lately i've been real down. and for some reason idk why.. i mean there are a number of things.. my relationship with my mom, me being and trying to finish college, and just my surrounding and my anger. i have alot of anger inside of me. ive let everyhthing build up. my friends always ask me whats wrong.. whats wrong.. but its like, i cant talk to them. id rather write. but i feel like i have dumb issues. they say that i shut down, and i dont talk to them. but for almost all my life thats all i knew, all i have ever known was to shut down, let it go and keep it moving. i have one friend our of the 2 that i am fairly close to, its kind of easy for me to talk to her because i feel she understands me, but my other firend i just feel like she judges me, and really doesnt care. yesterday i broke down in front of them, she provided no comfort, no care, and really kind of yelled at me, and made me feel lower than i did. after that she sent a text saying she is sorry, she will try to be more understanding. but thats one of the reasons i dont talk to her. cause i feel like she judges me. since i have been going threw whatever they have been growing closer they have this bond that we use to have with each other, and it hurts i feel like the door is slowly closing on me, and i have no one in my corner. but my reason for writing this is because i dont know how to deal with it all, my friend always tells me coping skills..idk what that means, idk how to cope and idk where to start. i feel real lost and lonely ..im scared of what may happen to me if i dont come from this extreme low of sadness....
awesomeallalone Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I went through something very similar with my friends.... one of them was really caring and understanding and the other one was cold and really not much help to my recovery. i also just closed off to both of them and just dealt with it alone for a while. After a certain point i felt like no one not even those i know really care for me could help. so i sat around and kept it all inside and found other ways of dealing with my emotions alone. Just know that although it seems like your friend doesnt care she really does but can't find the right things to say to you, so it comes off as mean... she just doesnt understand but its not because she doesnt care. remember that. Even though it feels like you dont know what in the world youre doing you do deep deep inside yourself. youre coping with it even right now as youre reading this. As humans we are equipped to handle things like things like this and i know things feel out of control and you feel alone and lost but you wont feel that way for ever. eventually you will start to get the control back and when you do it will feel great. keep your head up it will all be okay.
Kaya Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Hi Kizzy, Just want you to know that you're not alone with your feelings. Many of us have gone through periods in our lives where we feel like you do, lost, lonely and scared, and I know how overwhelming it can be. Don't worry about the "how", just believe that you CAN and WILL cope.. be good to yourself. One day you'll wake up and feel so much stronger and wiser because of this experience. I'm in your corner
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