sungrl Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 I finally reached out to my ex after a year of being apart..he ended it probably over frustration, fights, etc that I won't get into at the moment but he had some faults as well...noone intentionally hurt the the other..i kept very busy but still had feelings..i reached out with a v-mail, he called me back instantly and we spoke..long story short the next convo we had..he did question how do you know it would be different, i can't just jump right back to where we were, we will exchange calls and eventually meet...which is fine with me...i called him about a month ago and he said this a little over 2 weeks ago...our convos have been a decent length each time...an hour, 45 minutes, one night it was 2 hours which i thought were good signs. our pattern has been taking turns calling each other..been trying to follow his lead..if he calls after 3 days then i wait 3 days and call him..he didn't return one call one night and got back to me 2 nights later..i didn't ask him why he didn't return my call or even just to explain anything and he didn't explain...he had a wedding to go this weekend..he called me thursday saying have a good weekend which is pretty much a hint we won't be talking..we spoke for awhile...i know he got back early sunday so i decided to call him last night since technically it was my turn..no answer..so now its up to him but its getting kind of hard to be patient and nice each phone call..im so glad we are actually at this point and i think eventually we will meet...but it just seems like maybe we should have met already? i almost think for once i should miss his call since this is the second time he has missed mine and took his time getting back to me and didn't even explain...i know we aren't dating but we didn't just meet and we went out for a long time(over 3 years)...even when i first met him, it was not like this..we spoke every night...i know we can't go back to that so quickly and understand that this is different from first meeting a person...guess i am starting to think i need to back off or something or wait even longer to call him next when it is my turn to call, make him wonder a little bit or hope he will wonder a little bit...
playlislay Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 You have to understand that this man must have a lot going through his mind. You must respect that. Stop over-analyzing on when he has and hasnt called. If you havent seen each other in a year, then phone conversations etc are not going to be continuos over night. He has lived without you for this long, so his "routine" is going to be different from what it was before you two split up. He knows what you want out of this and it is, in a way, all in his control. He has to know that he is making the right decision. To do that, he needs space and a whole lot of time. And you need to prove your worth. Make sure that he knows that you know where you have gone wrong. Show him that you have changed for the better and that you have reflected on the past. You must be thankful for being given a second chance. I know sooooo many people on here that would give their right arm to be in your position right now. A relationship isnt all about being in love. It takes a lot of hard work and commitment to work through what you two have been through. You need to balance two elements of where you are right now: 1) serious discussions over what went wrong etc and how you will work it out. 2) Enjoy each others company in a relaxed manner. Remember that you are not his girlfriend yet, so do not give him irrelevant hassle over stupid issues i.e. phone calls!!! I really do wish you all the best and if it is meant to be, then it will happen. 1
Author sungrl Posted September 29, 2009 Author Posted September 29, 2009 i am definitely going to continue being patient and its true..i was hoping for this for a very very long time and i don't want to screw it up..just gets me a little anxious at times b/c we havent even met yet..just thought he would be even slightly more eager...close friends and even my mother thinks he is sort of dragging this out, and where is the harm in having a drink one night rather than 3 months from now...but ultimately i dont have any control with this and i need to be happy we are at the point of talking b/c it hasnt been the easiest year without him and i missed him alot.
northstar1 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 jmmm, is that you? That's what I was thinking.
Treasa Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 jmmm, is that you? Yes, it is her. Check back posts of both "posters".
BCCA Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Yes, it is her. Check back posts of both "posters". Good grief, Charlie Brown...
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