blaze5 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 My now ex girlfriend has officially left me because she thinks that we would better friends. I told her that i wont do it because i will never think of her as just a friend and every time i see her it will hurt because of the way i still feel about her. She really broke my heart and i know that i shouldnt answer her calls or see her anymore.. but its harder then that. I did everything with her and she got me into a lot of things some of which is for the better. Everyday I'm going to think about her and miss her so much. I dont have many friends i can hang out with and when i do, i still tend to think of her. Ive hit my 2nd point in life when i feel really depressed and i dont know if i can make it all better this time.
Emilhon Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Hey Blaze. I know how you feel. The same thing happend to me not once but twice. My ex boyfriend broke up with me telling me he didn't think he was falling in love with me and he felt like we were more friends even though we had a full functioning romantic relationship. Out of the blue he tells me he wants to break up. A month later we got back together. I didn't have the courage to question him about the breakup until I felt comfortable in our relationship again. Finally a few months into it for the second time things were great! Out of the blue I come home and he is waiting for me, all his stuff has been moved out and he gives me the same speech about not seeing us long term and loving me like a friend. I feel just like you. I can't just be his best friend I love him like crazy! I'm new to this city and with our relationship came friends and family of his which has all just been taken away from me now. I'm so scared I don't feel safe anymore like no one in the world cares about me. I hope you feel better... I'm still struggling with this.
Northwesthunny Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Im in the same boat - my ex broke things off after 2years, he rang me up from afghanistan to say that its not what he wants - things where fine and this just came out of the blue! When he came back on leave for a couple of weeks he said that he wanted to be friends - which i think is completly unfair of him to ask. He would still have me in his life but i know i couldnt be just friends with him, wondering what he was up to etc! Im still not over him and its 3 months down the line, instead of things gettting easier as people ave told me its getting harder. All my friends are more botherd about their lives to want to even think about what im going through and think that because i put a smile on that im over everything! I really do think that you are best to not stay friends if you feel that it isnt possible for you, the only person you would be hurting and lyeing to would be yourself maybe one day you will be able to speak to her without those feelings but for now it is best that you do NC xx
Author blaze5 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Posted September 29, 2009 I was happy but i know there were a lot of times i wasn't.. She never showed the same amount of love as i did. She kept me a secret from her friends and family..and when she sent her car in to get fixed. She would call me once every other day or or even a couple of times once after 3 days have passed. I know all of my friends say shes no good and i don't deserve to be treated like that but i was happy when i was with her.
EricaH329 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 There is no obligation for you to be friends with her. It is in your best interest that you are not friends with her. Not for a long time anyway. If I were you, I wouldn't even try to put myself into that situation. Next time she tries to contact you, simply tell her that you need your space from her. To grow into your own person and away from that relationship. Then begin NC. I know you are sad. Breakups are usually sad. I just went through one myself. I can say, just as you did, that I was happy with him (except towards the end, but that's another story). But the fact of the matter remains that she wasn't happy in the relationship. It's a hard reality to face, that she no longer wants to be with you, but it must be faced. And it must be acknowledged. (EDIT: By no means is this your fault. It's a matter of different opinions. Do not place the blame on yourself.) Since this is still very fresh for you, it'll be very hard to remain positive and optimistic. I was there once also. You hear all this great advice from everyone, and you want with all of your heart to believe that you'll be alright and you will move on, but it's just too hard of a concept to understand right now. I know. But, I must say, that you will be alright without her. You will be alright without anyone. You are your own person. You are the only one responsible for your own happiness and well being. This is a tough time, trying to get over this relationship, but if you keep in mind that in order to be happy again you must work towards that on your own... you should be able to see things a little bit more positively. Since, after all, you can count on yourself. Right? Right! Don't let yourself become overwhelmed with the feelings of sadness and depression. Try looking at the relationship from an outside perspective. If your best friend were in that same relationship, and the same thing happened to him/her... what advice would you give to him? What advice would you recommend he follow? Stay strong. You will get through this if you keep your head up, held high, and ready to take on whatever might come your way. At the end of all of this, you will surprise yourself at how strong and wise you have become. I have faith in you!
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